


Boy with the Broken Soul

by theangelswans



Series: Manmade Madness, and the Romance of Sadness [1]
Category: Pandora Hearts
Genre: AU, Adventure, Angst, Eventual Romance, F/M, Romance, Self Loathing, Whump, also angry lacie is kinda the best thing in the world, cw: violence, eventually, gratuitous whumpage, i really feel like i should be sorry but im really not, jack has to deal with Some Shit, jack trying to rescue lacie, some parts are very cruel, traipsing through the abyss, vicariously taking out all my anger towards jack in this fanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2018-09-02 17:42:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 27
Words: 84,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8676787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theangelswans/pseuds/theangelswans
Summary: After Jack gives up control of his body to B-Rabbit, his soul (or what's left of it anyway) is sent to the abyss. When he finds out Lacie is alive but lost, Jack is hell bent on doing anything he can to save her—even if it means facing a host of angry Sablier victims out for revenge.





	1. Prologue

“Lacie…is dead. I killed her.”

And in that moment, everything shattered.

“What are you doing?!”

_Granting Lacie’s final wish…I want to make Lacie happy._

A building full of corpses burns to the ground.

_Lacie..._

_Lacie…_

_Lacie…_

Red-hooded figures run around the city, slashing everyone in sight. The city soon matches the color of their hoods.

_DESTROY._

He wonders if that was the reason they chose that color.

Blood splatters. All he can see is red.

“I won’t let anyone take away what is mine!”

He doesn’t notice that he’s crying. It doesn’t matter. There are more important things to worry about right now.

“Stop this!”

Black hair… Gilbert. Oswald. His precious friends. 

_DESTROY EVERYTHING._

Five black winged chains. _They’re ruining your plans. Oswald is ruining your plans._ Why would he do that? I’m just trying to make Lacie happy…

_Maybe you should kill him._

“Oswald!”

 _I’M GOING TO BRING THE WORLD INTO THE ABYSS._ You’re destroying everything.

_It doesn’t matter._

Even yourself.

_FOR LACIE._

A decapitated head rolls to the floor in front of Jack’s feet. He drops to his knees and cradles it to his chest. Hot blood mixes with tears.

_Why did you do this?_

What have I done?

_“Jack!”_

He screams and wakes up. 


	2. Where

Jack sat up and hugged his knees to his chest, his breath coming out in short, shallow gasps. His heart felt heavy in his chest like a stone. _Oh, why did I do this?_

_Lacie…_

Jack remembered why he had tried to bring the world into the Abyss; it was all for Lacie. It was only ever for Lacie.

He needed to find her. Save her.

Jack stood up and looked around. The Abyss was the same as it was every day since he had gotten there, with the random floating toys and occasional furniture drifting about, and the odd, water-like substance covering the shimmering ground. No chains were in sight as Jack had made it clear that he was not to be messed with. They all seemed to be afraid of him anyway, and even without their memories they still had the sense to run away when he was near. It was good, he told himself, he needed them to fear him. He needed that power, if he had nothing else.

Though it did make for some problems with getting information. He had to wander around the Abyss for a long while before he found any sort of life form, and even then he wasn’t able to talk to it. The chains were too afraid—rightfully so—and they ran from him at first sight. Jack really couldn’t be bothered to chase them, and they were a lot faster with their long legs and insect wings.

As Jack was walking he heard movement behind a mantelpiece covered in bizarre dolls and crept slowly toward it. He was very careful not to make a sound, stepping very lightly on the multicolored surface of the Abyss’s watery floor. He came to the front of the mantelpiece and whipped around to the back, grabbing whatever was behind in one swift motion.

It screamed when Jack wrenched it out from its hiding place. It wasn’t a chain yet and was still in human form, though Jack could see traces of green scales beginning to form on its face. Jack gripped its neck and pulled it close to his face.

“Where is Lacie!” Jack screamed.

The chain shook and sniveled, barely managing to squeak out an “I don’t know,” to which Jack responded to by squeezing its neck tighter. He held the chain up in the air by its neck and it looked down at him with fearful eyes. Black liquid dripped down its cheeks and onto Jacks face, and he grinned. He didn’t know chains could cry.

“Where is she!” Jack shouted, voice hoarse.

The chain only gasped and didn’t produce any sound except for slight sniffling, which wasn’t helpful to Jack in the slightest. He snapped the chains neck and drew his hand back, not even watching as the body fell limply to the floor. Jack simply continued to stroll casually through the Abyss looking for more chains and hoped one of them knew where Lacie was. It was a pity he had to let that one go; catching them was always such a chore.

This had become the norm since Jack had given up control of his body to B-rabbit, and had since been taken to the Abyss. He assumed it had only been a few days, but he couldn’t be sure. Time worked differently in the Abyss, ten seconds here could be ten years on earth or a thousand years in the Abyss could pass in the blink of an eye. He didn’t really care either way. He was just glad to be away from that wretched world he never really belonged to in the first place, and now he could search for his lost love without, hopefully, any interference.

Jack walked through the Abyss, almost aimlessly, since he had no idea where Lacie might be. He figured he had time to explore every direction, but he wanted to find her as quickly as he could. That way he could leave this place as soon as possible. He had a feeling he was unwelcome here.

“Monster!”

Jack looked up. He had apparently been so distracted thinking about Lacie that he hadn’t realized he had wandered into an area heavily populated with chains. Malformed human souls still in the process of turning into chains, as well as the monstrous beasts of fully formed chains were scattered about the area…and they were all staring at _him_. From the look in their eyes, they were afraid, but still filled with anger and such a need for vengeance that they knew was unattainable. Jack continued to stride down his aimless path, watching as the chains and pitiful souls darted out of his way. He heard their frightened whispers and he looked menacingly in their direction as they scurried away.

“He’s a bloody demon!”

Jack hardly flinched at the comment. He put his hands in his jacket pockets and tried to walk as if he were on a casual stroll through the garden.

“…caused the tragedy of Sablier!”

_Hm, so some of the chains still have their memories_ , Jack pondered, _interesting_. That was alright with him, let them hate him. He would do it all again if it were to save Lacie.

“…selfish bastard!”

Jack clenched his fists. How dare they make fun of his lineage.

_Wasn’t my FAULT!_ His mind screamed at him.

“He should never have been _born_!”

Jack didn’t take notice of the red glow around his fists, but red soon filled his vision. He was clenching his jaw so hard he thought it might break, and he was nearly quaking with rage. Then he realized that he didn’t need to uphold the mask any longer. Why bother? He didn’t need to keep pretending to be the charming sunshine prince everyone used to know. They all knew who he truly was now. _A monster_.

Jack felt his hand scorching and he thrust it out in the direction of one of the chains. Before Jack even knew what was happening, the chain exploded right in front of his eyes. The other chains quickly scattered, their harsh whispers silenced. Jack noticed the red glow surrounding his hands, and the red tint in his vision that he had thought was caused by anger. Apparently he still had some residual control over B-rabbits power, even in these circumstances. He blew up the nearest chain and watched as it was obliterated. A grin split his face and he threw his head back in wild laughter.

_That’ll show them._

He did it again and again, watching as one chain after the other was blown to smithereens. Misty black blood was thick in the air and Jack was frenzied with excitement and rage.

“Well that was quite entertaining,” a childish female voice said from behind him.

Jack spun around to see a small girl who couldn’t be more than Alice’s age sitting on a floating dresser. She had long, light brown hair, which was tied in a ponytail with a white rose clip that dripped strands of glass beads down her hair. She wore a lime green tunic with cuffed Capri jeans. She smiled playfully at him and swung her legs back and forth while she sat, and most peculiar, she didn’t look the least bit afraid.

“Do you wish to be next?” Jack shouted, his own voice unfamiliar to his ears.

The girl raised her eyebrows. “Oh come on now, don’t be like that, Jack,” she said in a mocking tone.

Jack shot a bolt of red light straight at her without a second thought. She caught it in her hand and squashed it like a bug, until all that power was nothing more than red dust that flowed through her fingers. The girl’s eyes narrowed and she gracefully hopped off the dresser. She gently floated down to the ground and Jack stared at her in wonder. She might’ve known his name from the other chains, or she still had her memories, but how was she able to block B-rabbits power? Jack raised his hand to shoot at her again but she put her hand up to stop him.

“Killing me might not be the best option right now, Jack,” she said, mildly irritated instead of scared. Which she should’ve been.

“Yes, that’s what they all say,” Jack retorted, “Are those your final pleas for mercy?”  

The girl wasn’t phased in the slightest, still remaining in front of Jack and absentmindedly trying to balance on her tip-toes. Her lips curled slightly in a sly smile. “Do you even have an _inkling_ of where she is right now?”

Jack looked at her with more attention. His focus immediately sharpened and he regarded the girl with more caution than he previously had, seeing as how she wasn’t the typical soul. “What are you talking about?” Jack asked. A thought wriggled in the back of his mind as to who the girl was referring to, and Jack hoped it was true.

The girl shrugged sassily, an obvious answer to his question.

“You know where Lacie is?” Jack asked. His eyes narrowed.

The girl shrugged again and casually strutted to the other side of him. “Maybe,” she said slyly, like she knew more than she was letting on.

Jack abruptly grabbed her neck in one hand and pushed her back. “Where is she?” he said through gritted teeth. He was not in the mood for games. If this foolish girl had information about Lacie then he would get her to talk.

The girl looked at him with something he could’ve mistaken for pity, but he knew that wasn’t it. Strangely enough, it wasn’t fear. Jack still had his hand tightly around her throat so this girl was either very brave or very stupid, because she still would not talk. She only stared at him with those doleful brown eyes.

“Where is she!” Jack shouted as he squeezed her neck tighter.

The girl looked at him with such deep sadness; the playful attitude was gone. “What happened to you, Jack?” she asked quietly.

Jack squeezed her neck tighter, and the girl opened her mouth slightly in a desperate gasp for air. “Tell me where she is!” he screamed in her face.

The girl flinched. Jack’s hand started burning and he wondered if . It hadn’t hurt last time, but maybe he was just trying to—

He was suddenly pushed away from the girl and fell to the ground, clutching his burned hand. He glared up at the girl with his teeth bared, but also wondered how she was able to do that. No normal human soul had that kind of power, so she might have formed a contract with a chain. Although if that was true, what was she still doing in the Abyss?

The girl sauntered over to Jack while he was still bowed low on the ground. “I am a being of the Abyss, granted powers by the Will of the Abyss herself. Do not test me, Jack Vessalius. I am not going to waste my time caught in your foolishness,” she said, her voice stern and with a tinge of agitation.

Jack clenched his jaw. Who was this girl to think she could overpower _him_ , him of all people. She should’ve feared him, but instead she had the power to hurt him and to stop his power. She was not afraid, and therefore, not respecting of his reputation. He wanted to wring her skinny little neck, but if she had information about Lacie, he needed her alive.

He took a deep breath to try and calm himself before speaking. “I just want to find Lacie,” he said in the calmest voice he could manage, although it came out more desperate sounding than he had wanted.

The girl smiled sympathetically, not that Jack could see it. He didn’t want to look up from the watery floor of the Abyss.

“I know. She’s too far from here for you to reach her on your own, but I can take you to her,” the girl said, her voice back to its innocent and childlike tone. She extended a hand to Jack and smiled cheerfully.

Jack looked up to see her smiling, genuinely smiling at him and holding out her hand to help him up. Why would she be helping him? Why wasn’t she afraid? Her attitude had been cold moments before, but she wasn’t angry or running away in fear. She was also offering to come with him on a trek across the Abyss for seemingly no reason other than to find a girl she had no connection with. Jack wondered _why_ , because in his experience, people didn’t just do nice things without having an ulterior motive. Especially not for him.

He looked at her proffered hand for a moment but didn’t take it and stood up on his own. The girl rolled her eyes before turning her back to him and continued to skip ahead of him without a care in the world, much like the child she appeared to be. Jack pressed his lips together in a thin line but he tried to keep his composure. He wasn’t in the mood for dealing with foolish children when Lacie was out there somewhere, but he needed this girl until he found her. Lacie could be suffering alone out there, so Jack needed all the help he could get in order to find her. Even if that meant dealing with strange children who may or may not have been planning against him.

“You know my name but I don’t know yours,” Jack said.

The girl turned her head to look at him, but continued moving. “Ariella,” she called, and continued to skip forward.

Jack had to walk faster to keep up with her. “What are you up to?” he asked, narrowing his eyes.

Ariella spun around to face him. She put her hands on her hips and bent slightly towards him. “Why do you think I’m up to something?” she said petulantly, a mischievous expression on her face.

“If you haven’t already noticed, I am the man that killed everyone in Sablier,” Jack said sharply, “you must be planning _something_ if you’re willing to help me.”

Ariella shifted her mouth to the side and looked steadily at Jack, considering. Then she shrugged and turned away. “Nope,” she said, popping the 'p' and continued skipping.

“Aren’t you afraid?” Jack asked.

“I’ve been here a lot longer than you have, Jack. I’m not scared of a few chains,” Ariella said with a small giggle.

Jack gave her a sideways glance.

“Oh, oh you meant afraid of _you_?” she feigned surprise then smirked at him, “don’t be so full of yourself.”

Jack tightened his jaw. The nerve of this girl, how dare she speak to him like that? Of course, he didn’t know what to say in response, so he continued walking in brooding silence.

He was not in a particularly good mood, although he never was unless he was with Lacie, and right now he just wanted to be alone. Ariella’s enthusiasm was not helping, and his agitation grew with every skip and twirl she did. Jack couldn’t believe he was even going along with this, having Lacie’s fate in the hands of a carefree child like her. She probably didn’t even know where Lacie was and was just trying to mess with him—a big mistake on her part—although Jack couldn’t deny the power she had displayed when he had tried to use B-Rabbits power on her. If the Will of the Abyss had entrusted her with powers then she must have some importance; Jack’s only question was _why_. He figured he could deal with that later. He had enough to worry about at the moment and he needed to focus on the problem at hand.

If Ariella was just playing with him, he would get rid of her, simple as that. But there was also the possibility that she actually _did_ know where Lacie was, and in that case, he needed her, for the time being at least. And there was the third option, she knew where Lacie was but wasn’t taking Jack in the right direction to find her. That was always a viable option, as everyone in the universe seemed to love messing with him. Jack couldn’t really do anything about that one though, but he knew for sure he couldn't trust Ariella. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is basically what happens when I make Jack actually guilty for what he did, because I love guilty characters and I honestly thought it would be interesting to see.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Pandora Hearts, that honor goes to Jun Mochizuki.
> 
> Special thanks goes to the instagram account @sadistic.shinigami for giving me the courage to write. I love you!!
> 
> Also, yes there are OC's in this story (please hold all groans of despair until the end, thank you). Most of them are just side characters that make scattered appearances, there's not that many of them. There is one OC that plays a major part in the story, that is my OC Ariella, but she is NOT going to be a love interest for Jack. I repeat, she is NOT going to be a love interest, only a friend, and this is a strictly Jack/Lacie fanfic, no love triangle or anything stupid like that. So please don't worry, I tried very hard not to make Ariella "Mary-Sue-ish." 
> 
> Shrieks of ecstasy? Groans of despair? How did you like it? Lemme know in the reviews! (no flames please, I am but a smol marshmallow)


	3. Tunnel Vision

The landscape had been pretty bleak as they walked; always the occasional toy or piece of furniture floating by, but no chains. If they came across any they always scattered away in fear of Jack. He knew that the opinions of a few brainless chains meant little to nothing, yet Jack started to feel sick from hearing their pathetic little squeals and seeing them dash for cover behind the nearest object. He tightened his jaw and looked straight ahead, refusing to acknowledge them. All he cared about was finding Lacie.

Then, a whisper.

“Hero of Sablier,” were the only words Jack heard, but it was enough. One of his many nicknames, the one he had brought upon himself, whispered in horror and disgust. He should have been used to it by now, the terrified reactions, but he couldn’t help but be infuriated by it. The chains were so pitiful, merely brainless creatures that were once humans; they had been deformed by the Abyss and turned into monsters, but they were still so very weak. Jack couldn’t stand it. They weren’t human, they weren’t even fully creature, just some terrible mixture gone horribly wrong. Yet they had the right to call _him_ a monster? They stood in their false and cowardly safety, watching him pass, their eyes bulging with terror and morbid fascination. Jack felt a scorching heat in his palms and he thought it was just the anger building up inside of him, but it had manifested into the red hot power of B-Rabbit.

Jack couldn’t let it all go to waste, now could he?

Ariella silently observed him. She heard the whispers as well, and she immediately noticed Jack’s shoulders tightening, and his jaw set. She watched the change in him. She could see his fingers twitch and glow bright red, she could see the rage build up inside of him and all she could do was wait for him to explode. Ariella breathed out softly through her nose and looked upon him sorrowfully.

The two chains looked almost human, they couldn’t have been sucked into the Abyss that long ago. They had barely even begun the transformation and still had a general human shape, albeit more hunched and skinny. They were scrambling to hide behind an armoire a few feet away but Jack thrust out his red hands and blew them into oblivion. Black blood rained down from where the chains once stood moments ago; there one second and gone the next.

 “Aggressive now, aren’t you?” Ariella said.

Jack turned back to the path they were on. He looked straight forward and kept his eyes on the nonexistent horizon off in the distance, trying to avoid Ariella’s inquisitive gaze. His shoulders were squared and he took long strides to try and get in front of Ariella, and Ariella sighed and continued walking. She made the best effort to walk right beside him, knowing how much it aggravated him. She internally giggled at his mood, he was very much like a child throwing a tantrum.

 

Ariella skipped, jumped and danced along the shimmery floor of the Abyss to an imaginary beat inside her head. She kicked up the water-like substance and millions of tiny shimmering droplets scattered around her feet like a sea of stars. Occasionally she would hum, and sometimes she would try to strike up a conversation with Jack, who ignored her. Ariella crossed her arms over her chest.

“Hmph. You’re no fun,” she said, disgruntled.

Jack glowered at her. “I didn’t come here to make friends, I came here to find Lacie,” he spit out each word with growing irritation.

Ariella threw her hands up in mock surrender. “We will, don’t worry. She’s just in a very… _secure_ part of the Abyss, so it will take some time to reach her.”

Jack drew nearer to her and glared at her with fierce intensity. “Secure? Is she trapped? Have you hurt her?” concern and impatience and anger laced together in his voice, “I swear to God, I will kill everyone in this whole goddamn place if you’ve hurt her,” he said through gritted teeth.

Ariella’s eyes widened for a moment, then her expression settled into disappointment. “Relax, she’s fine. And when you go to rescue her maybe you can play the real hero this time,” she said with a certain sharpness to her words.

Jack crossed his arms in annoyance at her blatant disrespect, but he chose to ignore it. “Very well then, where are we off to first?” he asked curtly.

Ariella pointed to something far off into the distance. Jack couldn’t see what it was from where they were, so it just looked like a lump on the dull landscape of the Abyss. He couldn’t imagine why they had to go to something so insignificant.

“That’s a tunnel up there, it’ll take us to a different part of the Abyss where it’ll be much easier to get to Lacie,” Ariella explained.

Jack squinted to try and see more of this so-called tunnel. It started having a more definite outline as they drew closer, but it seemed to be constantly changing shape. It was a mess of colors undulating like waves, forming and removing lumps from the surface. He had never seen anything like it before, but then again, the Abyss was a strange place. This kind of thing probably wasn’t uncommon.

“There are, however, a few complications,” Ariella added. Jack looked at her, and she continued. “It’s a sort of portal, and chains are drawn to its source of energy. They’ve surrounded the tunnel and it’s become toxic.”

Jack looked off in the direction of the tunnel and squinted. “You have magic, do something about it,” he said stonily.

Ariella tilted her mouth to the side in agitation. “Yea that’s not really how this works,” she wiggled her hand in the air even though Jack wasn’t looking at her.

They were close enough now so that Jack could see that the colorful waves were different types of chains, all amassed into one large blob. He couldn’t see the entrance and wondered how they were going to get in, and more importantly, how they were going to get through to the portal.

He and Ariella stopped far enough from the tunnel so that no chains came after them. Jack wasn’t sure if they would or not, seeing as how chains usually tended to avoid him. He wanted to use B-rabbit’s power to demolish all of the chains into dust, but there were too many and he had only a small amount of power left in this form since he had given his body to B-Rabbit. It would use up all of his remaining power just to get rid of half the chains in there.

“How do you suppose we get through?” Jack asked.

Ariella shrugged. Jack turned to her. “I thought you knew this place!” he shouted at her.

“I know _of_ it,” Ariella said.

Jack sighed exasperatedly. They needed to come up with some way to get through there. He could see the entrance now, a cavernous, gaping hole guarded by a chain. If only those chains would scare as easily as the ones from before…

“Hey, where are you going?!” Ariella screamed as Jack suddenly took off towards the tunnel.

Jack ran to the entrance and stopped a few feet in front of the guard-chain. It lunged at him but he easily destroyed it using the power of B-rabbit. The other chains around them held back for a moment after witnessing the explosion. Jack raised his arms and smiled wickedly at them.

“What are you waiting for?” he shouted, “come on! You want to eat a human? Well I’m the worst human around! I caused the Tragedy of Sablier! It’s my fault you’re all dead! Go on, attack me! Have at it!”

None of the chains moved.  

Jack smiled wider, triumphant. This was a game he knew.

“I’m impressed,” Ariella said to him as he strode back to her.

“Now we shouldn’t have any problems,” Jack said confidently.

“Except the floor,” Ariella added.

“What about the floor?”

“I told you, the chains polluted it and turned it to acid,” Ariella said matter-of-factly.

“I’ll carry you on my back,” Jack replied.

Ariella jerked her head back in surprise. “ _What_?”

Jack glanced down at Ariella’s feet then back at her face. “Acid floor, bare feet. You’re of no use to me if you can’t even walk,” he said indifferently.

Ariella considered this for a moment before climbing onto his back as they neared the entrance to the tunnel. “That’s very kind of you,” she said and grinned.

Jack laughed dryly. “I am _not_ kind. Call me whatever you’d like, but at least make it truthful.”

Now it was Ariella’s turn to laugh. “Since when have you ever been truthful?” she snorted.

Jack helped Ariella climb onto his back and she wrapped her arms around his neck. She wasn’t terribly heavy, but he hoped he could get them both to the end of the tunnel without falling.

He stepped through the entrance of the tunnel and heard the sizzling of his boots in the bubbling green acid. He hoped the rubber soles wouldn’t melt before they reached the end, but he had to be careful going through. The chains were docile for now, all pressed to the edges of the tunnel, but one wrong move could easily set them off. They stared intensely at him, fearful yet hungry. They were fickle creatures beyond comprehension and reason, much like the Abyss they resided in, so Jack didn’t want to chance it and do something that would provoke them.

They were almost halfway through the tunnel when Jack felt the first bubble pop against the bottom of his foot. There was no pain, just pressure and the heat of the soft rubber on his skin. It wasn’t quite melted yet, just the bottoms had started to bubble. At least, that’s how it was at first. Jack tried to speed up their trek but accidentally sloshed some of the acid onto the cloth part of his boots. It ate a hole right through the cloth and burned his skin, and he hissed and slowed down.

He heard Ariella _hm?_ But he made some non-committal wiggly hand gesture and she settled back down.  

He could feel as the rubber bubbled and melted away. It popped against his skin and dripped into the acid and sizzled sickeningly in his ears. He could feel the acid seep in through the holes and burn his flesh with each step that he took. He gritted his teeth against the pain, it felt as if his feet were literally on fire. He cursed at the agonizingly slow walk, but he didn’t want to make another mistake like before, or worse, drop Ariella or fall himself. He had to be patient. Besides, the acid wasn’t too deep and only part of the sole of his boot was disintegrated. He had to keep reminding himself of this when the smell of burned flesh and rubber assaulted his nose.

Jack was panting and sweating, his hands clenched into fists and his nails digging into his palms, but he was sure they only had a little ways to go before they were free. He was definitely going to have terrible blisters on his feet when they were through with this, but it was worth it if it got him closer to rescuing Lacie.

 Jack groaned low in his throat at the pain and stumbled. He caught himself by leaning against the wall and he squeezed his eyes shut. His eyes shot open when he heard Ariella scream loudly in his ear.

“What now?!” he snapped.

“Oh, Jack~” said a mysterious, garbled voice that sounded like it was underwater.

Jack looked over at a chain who had the torso of a human woman, but the body and legs of a spider. She smiled ear to ear. Jack’s pain was momentarily forgotten when he remembered that the “wall” he was leaning on was made of chains. They looked at him now with less fear and a lot more vigorous hunger.

“Uwee hee hee~ he has no power!” said a gravelly voice tinged with laughter.

“No power! No power!” a few other voices chimed excitedly.

Jack threw his hands down and lit them ablaze with the red glow of B-rabbits power. “You want power? I’ll show you power!” he shouted.

“Jack,” Ariella chided, “you can’t take on all of them.”

“You think I don’t know that? I would have done so already if I could,” Jack ground out through gritted teeth, tilting his head back slightly so only Ariella could hear.

The chains began to leave their positions on the walls and slink towards them.

“Run,” Ariella whispered in Jack’s ear.

The chains came at them all at once, creating a massive shifting in the tunnel walls and ceiling. It was much more open and bright once they had moved, but Jack hardly took notice of the change in surroundings. All he heard was the whirring of wings and splash of feet, the sounds of all the chains moving together in one giant mass of destruction. Acid splashed almost up to Jacks knees as he ran. His boots were partly disintegrated already and blistering his skin, but he didn’t feel it with all the adrenaline coursing through his veins.

He literally saw a light at the end of the tunnel and pushed himself to run faster. The hoard of chains were right behind them, but if he could just make it outside then him and Ariella would have a better chance of escaping in the open space.

He felt the breath of a chain on his back and thought worriedly about Ariella when she removed one of her arms from around his shoulders, but she said nothing. He heard her grunt and then she put her arm back around him, holding tightly.

“Are you all right back there?” Jack yelled over the din of the chains.

“I punched it in the eye,” Ariella said, more aggravated than anything else.

In less dire circumstances, Jack would’ve laughed. He tried to run faster, but the acid and Ariella’s weight on his back hindered him from doing so. He was just barely outrunning the chains so he needed to get out of the tunnel as soon as possible. He heard them screech behind him along with the constant whirring of wings, but the light was so close; he was almost there. If he could somehow distract them, that would give him and Ariella the advantage so they could escape.

He reached back and plucked a pin from his braid and threw it as hard as he could at the wall of the tunnel. It hit the wing of a pursuing chain and was propelled into the glass. The pin lodged in the glass wall and Jack couldn’t see it cracking from behind, but he could hear it. The small crack widened and traveled up to the roof of the tunnel, where it was shattered by the beating wings of all the chains crammed in the small space. Glass shards began to rain down upon them.

“Hold on!” Jack shouted, and Ariella tightened her hold on his shoulders.

Jack tried to pick up as much speed as he could, just barely outrunning the glass that was caving in behind them. Shards of luminescent glass rained down and showered the chains, some large enough to impale them into the ground. Jack hoped he could get them out in time before that happened to him.

A chain screeched as it was hit in the back with a glass shard and it lurched forward, throwing out its wrinkly arm in a desperate attempt to survive. Its claws dragged through Jacks coat and flesh and he hissed, but kept running. The chain was left behind to wail on the floor of the tunnel.

Almost to the end, Jack saw a lucent blue glow emanating from the tunnels exit. It was a pure sphere of light, and Jack had no idea where it would lead or what would happen when he went through it, but right now it was their only option.

“Hold on!” Jack screamed at Ariella as he jumped through the portal.

It was an odd sensation, it felt he was passing through a wall of water. It was calm and cool, and felt smooth just like water and left him feeling refreshed. At least, for a split second it did. The portal spat him out on the floor of the Abyss and he didn’t get the chance to notice if he was actually soaking wet or not.  Jack and Ariella were immediately followed by a hoard of chains that burst out from behind him in a huge swarm, encompassing an even greater space with their large number, now that they were in the open expanse of the Abyss. Jack looked up at the chains and saw only a giant mass of destruction and evil, all gathered in a cloud in the hazy Abyss sky. They only swarmed for a moment, then dived down sharply without warning, but with a vengeance. 

“Ariella!” Jack called, and threw her off his back.

 Ariella landed with a _thump_ on the watery floor and glared at him for a split second while he screamed at her to run. A swarm of chains flew all around him and Jack couldn’t see her anymore, but he prayed she was alright—she was his only hope of finding Lacie, after all. Then Jack ran for cover.  

 

\--


	4. False Things

Ariella was spat out of the teleportation portal and landed right on her face. She tried to control a groan that rose in her throat; that was the second time in the last five minutes she had been thrown to the ground and she was starting to get sick of it. Although she couldn’t forget the agonized expression on Jack’s face before she left. Ariella thought about it as she stood up.

“Did you have fun?” a female voice asked Ariella.

Ariella spun around. Of course _they_ would be here. Two figures cloaked in pristine white robes stood before Ariella. Both wore white masquerade masks that hid their faces and curved sharply into points at the tips. The woman had a bundle of white feathers on one side of her mask and Ariella thought she must have assumed they looked good. The feathers crumpled under her hood and made her look like a goose.

Their hoods were pulled low over their heads and cast shadows over their faces but Ariella could feel their piercing gaze on her. They were always there, waiting, watching. They didn’t trust her one bit, and Ariella thought bitterly, the feeling was mutual. Although, if anything was going to work as it should, she had to be at least cordial with all the white-robed freaks. Ariella narrowed her eyes out of habit but forced a pleasant smile on her face.

“Dietri. Warrigan. How lovely to see you again,” Ariella said in what she hoped was a cordial-enough tone.

Warrigan had the audacity to laugh. “Are you enjoying your little dance?” his mouth twisted into a sickening grin as he taunted her.

This was common, seeing as how she had been the one to volunteer for the position that no one wanted. _Suspicious_ , they all thought. _Strange_.

“I was making progress,” Ariella said, not caring enough to bother with the details.

“You’ve been summoned,” a third voice stated.

Ariella looked at the woman standing high above them on a floating bedside table as if it were some sort of pedestal. She wore a long black dress that made her look like some sort of human spider with all the black tendrils dripping down her form and over the little table like a toxic waterfall. Mattrich always was one for theatrics. _And arrogance_. But Ariella supposed that was a thing that made up all of them, especially the _Magjistare,_ the leader of the _Ciasstolas_.

Mattrich gracefully stepped off her pedestal—literally, never metaphorically—and walked over and placed and arm around Ariella’s shoulder. “Come, Elizabeth, I will show you what our next move shall be.” Her tone was dripping with sadistic excitement and Ariella found it absolutely dreadful.

Mattrich led Ariella over to the wooden gazebo, the ivy covered headquarters of the _Ciasstolas_. A small headquarters, yes, but there weren’t that many of them to begin with. Ariella figured Mattrich could have recruited more, with the popularity of what they were doing.

Revenge always was such a tempting treat, Ariella mused.

The gazebo was filled with a gathering of masked figures with eerie smiles, all wearing the same hooded robes so that Ariella couldn’t tell the difference between them. As Ariella and Mattrich drew nearer, the figures silently moved to the side and gave the girls a wide berth to pass through. They didn’t speak, only stared blankly at Ariella and Mattrich as they passed. What looked like a stone well sat in the center of them, with a silver dish filled with water and smooth stones balanced on top. The _looking glass_ , as the others called it.

Mattrich waved her hand over the surface of the looking glass and Ariella almost fell forward into it when Mattrich harshly slapped her on the back. She pushed on her back and made her look in the water, forced to watch it swirl with color until it finally settled on the scene that Mattrich had conjured. Ariella gasped, horrified.

“You can’t do that!” she cried. When she joined them, this was not how she had wanted it to be.

Mattrich, and many of the others, smiled evilly.

“Oh, oh yes we can,” Mattrich said, looking down at the water with fascination.

* * *

 

Jack, cursing with every painful step. He was right, that tunnel had certainly left a whole lot of blisters on his feet and the bottoms of his boots were almost completely gone. He sucked in a breath, feeling the sharp pain shoot through him each time he placed his foot down. It didn’t help that he was walking none too gently, just stumbling on through the emptiness and wishing that blasted child would show up already.

Fate was never so kind to him.

There was nothing in sight, only the endless wavy landscape for miles. The chains had since dispersed, and now there was not a single one in sight. There wasn’t even any floating furniture in the atmosphere, which only aggravated Jack even more. He had always found the randomness of it so entirely pointless, but now all he wanted to do was rest. Figures; that would happen the one time he needed the Abyss to cooperate with him.  Jack needed to find Ariella in order to find Lacie because—he was reluctant to admit—he had absolutely no idea where he was going. He didn’t know where Lacie was, and the Abyss was so expansive that Jack could wander around for a hundred years and never find her. Not to mention she could be in any number of secret dimensions with hidden entrances. Lacie could be hidden away and trapped in the nothingness of the Abyss and Jack would never know. Ariella had said that she was located somewhere _secure,_ although Jack had no idea what that meant. He didn’t even know if Ariella was alive or not; he hoped she hadn’t gotten eaten by a chain. Even if she had survived, he had lost her in the swarm and had no idea where she was now. He didn’t even know where _he_ was. That portal had dumped him in some unknown part of the Abyss and he had no clue if he was any closer to finding Lacie.

And his feet hurt. The acid had burned through the soles of his boots, although mercifully left the heels intact. But the adrenaline of the chase had worn off and sharp pain shot through Jacks nerves every time he took a step. He was exhausted and angry as he limped around, and all he wanted was to find Ariella quickly and get on with their search. Of course, that still meant he had to walk, but at least he would have some direction as to where he was going and all the pain in his feet would at least be worthwhile.  

“Ariella!” Jack screamed with growing frustration. He clenched and unclenched his hands at his sides, and ground his teeth together.

“Ariella!” he snapped. “Ariella can you hear me! Answer me! Ariella!” he screamed at the sky.

“Dammit!” he cursed, and kicked the ground. The watery substance sprayed up around him and his foot scraped something sharp that had been lying underneath the surface. That, combined with the acid burns, had Jack doubled over and hissing in pain.

An eerily smiling doll with glass eyes lie underneath the waves, staring back up at him. That must’ve been what he had kicked. Could’ve just been his imagination, but it looked like it was _laughing_ at him. Jack reached down into the water and plucked the doll up, holding it by the neck and squeezing a little too tightly. The head bulged with stuffing as Jack strangled it. He ripped its head off and threw it as far as he could, then screamed again into the sky.

He bent down and rested his hands on his knees, breathing heavily. He tried to get his anger under control but was struck again by the feeling of “ _so what?_ ” and just stood up and continued walking.

* * *

 

 

It had been _hours_ since he had last seen Ariella. At least, it seemed like hours. He couldn’t really be sure; he could never gauge how much time had passed in the Abyss. Time here was a flowing as the watery floor he walked upon.

Jack was panting from the effort of just keeping himself upright, and the wild colors of the Abyss started blurring together. He didn’t know whether it was actually happening or if his mind was playing tricks on him.

That’s when he heard the laughter.

Jack whipped his head around to see who was there—maybe Ariella had found his way back to him—but he saw only the bleary landscape of the Abyss. Not a body in sight.

He shrugged it off as another symptom of his exhaustion and kept walking, although he was a little more on edge and kept looking over his shoulder.

He heard it again.

It was an odd and faraway laughter, yet it sounded as if it were right next to him at the same time. It was haunting and familiar; the giggle of a little girl causing mischief, the playful laughter of a girl Jack used to know in a past life.

A girl that was dead now because of him.

Jack hadn’t realized he had been clenching his fists until that last thought snapped him back to reality. He also noticed the laughter had continued to drift in and out, fading away and then reappearing from some other angle. He couldn’t see where—or who—it was coming from, which made him more than a little nervous. He spun around and looked at the sky of the Abyss, then at the direction of where the laughter last came from, but every time he tried to catch where the laughter was coming from, it changed. It echoed all around the overwhelmingly large space of the Abyss and seemed to swallow him in its sound. Jack spun in all different directions, turning left to right, looking up and behind him, and his braid swung wildly around him.

“Ariella?” Jack said cautiously, breathlessly.

He hoped it was just Ariella playing a prank; another one of her childish antics. Even though Jack was in no mood for games, that was a far more savory option than the other thought that plagued his mind.

The laughter was suddenly very loud behind him. Jack whirled around.

And there she was.

He didn’t know how many times he had wished to see her again, so he could apologize to her, tell her he didn’t mean for it to happen. Jack wanted to tell her that he had never wanted her to die—

_Lies_.

She would have died in the tragedy of Sablier anyway.

She died because of him.

And now she was there, standing in front of him, her back to him. In all her former glory, Jack could see, with her long chocolate hair flowing down her back and wearing the elaborately poufy dresses she loved. Jack had always complimented her on those when he would visit, telling her how stunning she looked. She would always smile so brightly when he complimented her, and even just from seeing him visit. Jack felt his heart physically _ache_.

She had been so young, so full of life. She was Lacie’s daughter and Jack had killed her. She had been Lacie’s own flesh and blood and he had heartlessly, carelessly stood there as she plunged those scissors into her jugular and bled to death on the cold marble floors.  

“Alice?” Jack asked meekly.

He half-hoped she wouldn’t hear him. At the same time, he hoped she would. He needed to tell her he was sorry. He knew that wouldn’t make up for it, but he needed her to know that he didn’t hate her. He had always been a little annoyed with her, but he had only wanted to use her to complete his plan. Terrible, yes, but he was just a manipulative bastard that wanted to achieve his own selfish goals; he didn’t want her _dead_.

Apologizing to her would not make up for what he did and had tried to do. Would it absolve him of his guilt? Probably not, but he certainly hoped so. If nothing else, he wanted to at least let her know. She deserved that much. And she was right there; this was his chance.

So why was he so terrified?

Alice stopped giggling and made a _hm_ sound.

Jack was stunned by the silence that followed. It rang deafeningly loud in his ears and he knew he had to say something, he just didn’t know what.

What does one say to a person they’ve killed?

Jack noticed he was wringing his hands and shoved them into the pockets of his coat.

“Alice…I’m sorry.”

Alice giggled again, though the sound was oddly lopsided.

 “Oh Jack,” she cooed, “Being dead isn’t so bad.”

She twisted her neck around to look at Jack and he gasped. Her face was gaunt and bony, her cheekbones stuck out like knives and her grayish-white skin was pulled taut. Her full lips were blood red and stuck out against the oldness of her skin. Most unsettling were her eyes. They had no iris, no pupil, no _white_. Just solid black, as if her pupils had been ink blots and they swallowed her eyes in the darkness. It was so unbelievably terrifying. She smiled from ear to ear and just about ripped her paper-thin skin.

“You should try it,” she whispered.

Jack turned and ran.


	5. This cookie has chocolate chips, chocolate is brown, Lacie's hair is brown

He stumbled as he ran and his feet were killing him, but he didn’t care. He just needed to get as far away as possible, as fast as he could go. He needed to get away from the distorted Alice. He needed to get away from this never ending guilt.

He had never wanted her death to happen.

But he knew it would, and he valued his selfish desire to bring the world to Lacie over Alice’s life. As if her life had meant nothing. But Jack loved Lacie more than anything, more than the whole of Sablier, more than Alice, definitely more than himself, and he had proven that to her. He had given her Sablier. He had made her happy.

And apparently, made Alice angry. Now she was after him, and was going to torment him and haunt him for what he did to her.

“No, no, no, I’m sorry!” Jack screamed desperately between gasps as he ran.

He kept running even as the world blurred around him, colors mashing together in a nauseating array of foggy pigment. He was stumbling blindly and tripping over his own feet, which would have hurt if not for the terrified adrenaline rushing through his veins and numbing him to everything but the need to get _away_. He was gasping for breath and his lungs were on fire but all he could think about was getting away from Alice. Run faster, he told himself. Run away from everything. Then nothing can hurt you.

 

_Alice_.

Jack kept trying to tell himself that it wasn’t the real Alice; he had killed her before Sablier was dropped into the Abyss so she couldn’t have been turned into a chain. This wasn’t the real Alice, but Jack lost all rational thought and explanation when he thought of her. He remembered her face perfectly from when she was alive, always had the spark of mischief and defiance that had annoyed him so much, but she was so bright and always smiling. And then there was the image of the chain he had just seen flashing through his mind, the crooked smile and the black eyes…and _oh_ , the sound of her laughter. _It’s not Alice, it’s not Alice_ he told himself, but did he really know for sure? _Just a chain_ Jack thought to himself, but it was not comforting in the slightest.

What did it matter that it wasn’t Alice because she was still dead and it was _all his fault_.

He only wanted to apologize to her but he knew nothing he said would make up for what he did to her. Jack rested his chin on his knees and moaned. He didn’t dare close his eyes, for fear that Alice would come charging at him with those demonic black eyes glaring right at him. Jack hoped that was the last he would see of her.

Jack felt arms wrap around him from behind, and a body nestled right up against his back.

It was warm and light.

It was gentle.

It was not over.

Jack froze. Alice was _right there_ , and he had no idea what he would do or say that would appease her. He didn’t think anything he did or said would mollify her anyway, so he just stayed silent. He didn’t think he could have spoken even if he wanted to, just like he couldn’t move. Too terrified; paralyzed in fear. Jack was shivering, and he knew Alice felt it too. She could feel the fear radiating off him in waves and Jack knew she was enjoying it. He felt her shift. She leaned in close, almost like she was resting her head on his shoulder. Her long hair draped over his torso and brushed against his cheek. Jack’s breath came out in short, shallow gasps. His hands clenched around his legs, squeezing so tightly he could see his knuckles turn white.

“You killed me.”

With those three little words, Jack was suddenly a thousand times more aware of that moment than he had been previously. He could feel Alice’s blood red lips up against his ear, feel her smooth whisper travel through him, and feel her breath on his skin. Images flashed in his mind. He was screaming in rage. Alice had a pair of scissors. Then she was on the ground, her beautiful blue dress now soaked in blood. Jack remembered how he had felt then. So angry one moment, then falling to his knees in grief the next. He had never cared much for Alice; she was much too obstinate and annoying, and unlike her sister, not easily manipulated. But he remembered the terrible weight of her body in his arms, so limp, too limp. _Lifeless_. He had clutched her to his chest and cried out that he was sorry, that he hadn’t wanted that to happen. Then he got up and carried on with his plans, and he just left her there. He had killed her and just left her there.

She whispered in his ear again, louder this time.

“You killed me.”

Jack felt like he was choking on air.

“A-Alice…I’m sorry,” he said.

“You killed me!” Alice screamed in his ear.

Jack gasped at the sudden loudness and repeated his apology. “I did it for Lacie…” he muttered weakly.

“You killed me! You killed me! You killed me! You killed me you killed me you killed me youkilledmeyoukilledmeyoukilledmeYOUKILLEDMEYOUKILLEDMEYOUKILLEDME!” Alice screamed over and over again.

She repeated it so much that all the words started to blend together into one continuous stream of “ _you killed me_ ,” getting louder each time until Alice was shrieking in Jacks ears. Jack tried to drown out her screams with his own stream of “ _I’m sorry’s_ ,” although they were spaced out by Jack’s frantic breathing. He tried to shout it louder than Alice which led to the both of them screaming at the top of their lungs and Jack could feel the din rattle his brain. He didn’t know when the noise had stopped, or if it had at all, because for all he knew, he could’ve just gotten used to it. He couldn’t even tell the difference between loud and quiet anymore, all he could think of was Alice’s deathly face and onyx eyes, and her shrieking in his ears. He couldn’t even feel himself shaking, he couldn’t feel the aches in his muscles from sitting there for so long. He didn’t even know how long it had been. Everything Jack knew, everything he was, was consumed by the words “you killed me,” until there was nothing else. It felt like he was floating in space.

Jack sat there for so long that his legs fell asleep and his arms went numb. A wisp of black smoke—some stray Abyss miasma—drifted past his face and he couldn’t even work up the strength to brush it away. He kept very still, unsure if Alice was still there or not. He couldn’t tell if the screaming in his ears was from her or his own thoughts. He couldn’t get her out of his head. He thought about her all the time, he never forgot what he had done to her, but he had always pushed aside his guilt so he could focus on finding Lacie. But now he couldn’t stop hearing “you killed me,” and he couldn’t get the image of poor young Alice soaked in blood out of his head. Something had broken inside of him, something that had been slowly chipping away since the day Alice died.

He regretted it, all of it, so much so that he felt his body ache with grief. He wanted to go back in time and erase everything he had done, erase the memory of Lacie from his mind so he would have never fallen so in love with her. He had only wanted to make her happy, to save her just as she had saved him. He sometimes wished she hadn’t. Then none of this would have happened. Alice, and all of Sablier would still be alive if only he hadn’t been so mind numbingly weak.

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the monstrous trail of thoughts that stemmed from his own self-pity. He couldn’t stand it anymore. Apparently the monsters of the Abyss had invaded his mind and chose to whisper incessantly in his ear how pathetic he was.

He was still shaking and exhausted, and he could feel hot tears trail down his cheeks. He didn’t care how awful he must have looked, there was no one around to care anyway. So he stayed there for God knows how long, since he didn’t really feel the inclination to get up.

Jack wanted to scream, _Why had this happened?_ He only wanted to be with Lacie, he never wanted to cause so much pain. When Lacie died, he hadn’t cared about anything but being with her, and he didn’t care about all the destruction he was causing. Now he could see the effect his selfishness had on everyone in his life.

“Hey!”

Jack gasped, thinking it was Alice coming back to kill him, and he whipped his head around nervously. It was only Ariella running up to him, but Jack wasn’t able to calm the nervous pain in his stomach. He tried to calm his breathing before she got to him.

“I’ve been looking all over for you!” Ariella chirped, oblivious to what had just happened to Jack. She saw some dissipating black smoke but figured it was just a trick of the light on the unusual atmosphere.

Jack stared at her with wide, wet eyes and said nothing, still too in shock.

Ariella put her hands on her hips and bent down to look teasingly at Jack. She tilted her head to the side and quirked an eyebrow.

“Why ya crying? Don’t tell me your feet hurt that bad,” she stuck out her tongue, “don’t be a baby,” she said mockingly and giggled. Her eyes twinkled with mischief.

Jack clenched his jaw and used his sleeves to hastily wipe his face.

“Tch. Stop wasting time and take me to Lacie,” Jack grumbled.

He uncurled from his balled-up position and tried to stand up, but as soon as he put weight on feet he felt a sharp, biting pain in the blisters and he staggered forward, almost falling flat on his face in the water. He put his hands out to brace himself and ungracefully plopped back down. He cursed under his breath and sat up, looking frustrated. He didn’t look at Ariella and she could tell from the redness of his face that he was humiliated.

Ariella looked at him sympathetically and then at his feet. The soles of his boots had completely melted away except for the heels, and she could see the damage the acid had wreaked on the skin. The bottoms of his feet were terribly blistered, and the skin was bleeding and red. It looked excruciatingly painful to walk on, and Ariella had to give it to him for running and carrying her all that way through the tunnel. She gingerly brushed her palms over the shoes and used her magic to heal the damaged skin and repair Jacks boots.

Jack sucked in a breath as all the burning, stinging pain was replaced by a sudden coolness, and then it was gone. He pulled his feet away from Ariella and observed them curiously. No blisters, no pain. He released a breath and looked curiously at Ariella.

“Well you’re no use to Lacie if you can’t even walk,” she said, repeating his earlier words back to him. She jumped up and brushed her hands off.

Jack narrowed his eyes at her and stood up, warily testing his newly healed feet. He glanced back at Ariella, who was smirking at him, then looked forward again and stomped off in a huff.

“Let’s go,” he grumbled, and didn’t look back at Ariella again.

Ariella observed him while he walked, stealing secretive glances out of the corners of her eyes. Jack always tried so hard to hide what he was going through, although she wished he wouldn’t. He was obviously traumatized; his movements were jerky and his steps were too stiff, too fast. She could see his hands shaking at his sides, no matter how hard he tried to stop them. He was trying to appear confident and project this aura of superiority, but Ariella could see he was fractured inside. Pity and guilt tugged at her heart when she saw him like this and she fought hard to suppress a sigh.

 Ariella skipped through the air and ran to Jacks side. She had to move fast to keep up the pace with him, as he was likely trying to out-walk her so they didn’t have to be side by side. He didn’t look down at her, only keeping his gaze on the nonexistent horizon off in the distance. Ariella silently took his shaking hand in her own. Jack’s eyes widened for a moment as he registered this, then he went back to his usual angry expression and ripped his hand away.

“I’m not your mother,” Jack snapped, and shoved his hands in his jacket pockets.

He hastened his stride and tried to strut faster than Ariella, and she giggled at his efforts. He looked more like an embarrassed fool rather than the confident young man he was trying so desperately to be.

“No, you’re a bloody idiot,” Ariella laughed.

Jack glared at her for a moment, but it was halfhearted at best. It was strange, he was oddly comforted by her sarcastic comments. She rarely held anything back when it came to expressing her opinion of him—or her disapproval of his actions. Where others would have run screaming just from being near him, Ariella stayed beside him and welcomed him so openly. She had a complete disregard for his authority and reputation and never held back a jab, and although Jack had to glare at her for the sake of his pride, he was comforted by her honesty. The faceless figures he knew in the past never had the courage to speak their mind about a person to their face, as it was always fake smiles and back stabbing. Jack supposed he was as bad as they were and he could use a dose of honesty for once.

Jack breathed out heavily, finally calming his rapid breaths. He had yet to calm his unsteady nerves, but at least he could appear more composed.

“I suppose I am,” he sighed.

Jack gave up on his efforts to out-pace Ariella—for the sake of exhaustion, of course—and walked silently alongside her for a long while until they found a cluster of furniture floating in the distance. There was an unmade bed with a blue bedspread, a dining room table, a dresser, and a nightstand hanging in the air, while a lamp and a few dolls floated among the surface of the ground-waves.

 Jack helped Ariella climb up onto the one bed, but he said nothing as she jumped off and curled up on a dining room table. She used the table cloth as a blanket and within minutes Jack could hear her softly snoring like a cat. He was originally going to let her take the bed, but she apparently thought she was his mother and took it upon herself to give him what little comfort she could.

_Mother_.

_Is that what mothers are supposed to do_? Where had that thought come from? He had never experienced any such kindness like that from his mother, not since he was a small child. His mother always took whatever luxuries came their way for herself, she didn’t spare a second thought for her bastard son. Maybe that was where Jack had learned his selfishness, it had been ingrained in him from the start.

Jack shook away the thought as he kicked off his boots and climbed into bed. He was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, with no more thoughts of mothers and past demons.

* * *

 

 

“Do you miss it?” Ariella asked, breaking the silence. That was really all she could do to ease the awkward air around them as she led Jack to their next destination.

“I miss Lacie,” Jack replied.

Ariella rolled her eyes, “Lacie, Lacie, Lacie, it’s always Lacie. Is she really all you ever think about? This cookie has chocolate chips, chocolate is brown, Lacie’s hair is brown,” Ariella made emphatic hand gestures in the air as if her sarcasm wasn’t apparent enough.

Jack looked affronted by her callous comment about his beloved, but then his eyes clouded over and he looked off into the distance. “She’s far more pleasurable to think about than everything else,” he said softly.

Ariella’s heart twanged when she saw the pained look on his face, but she continued talking. “That brings me back to what I was saying; do you miss it? The world?”

Jack looked down at his feet. “Well, I did try to destroy it, that should be a good enough answer to your question,” he said confidently enough, but his tense shoulders and hands shoved in his pockets did not go unnoticed.

They were silent for a while, and the only sound that could be heard was their footsteps and the ever-present _swish swish_ of the Abyss floor.  

“Why?” Ariella asked, so quietly she thought Jack hadn’t heard her. He didn’t reply for a few seconds.

“Why did I do it or why do I not miss the world?” Jack finally said.

Ariella shrugged. “Both, I guess.”

Jack gave her a sad smile. “The world I knew was never kind.”

Ariella ached to reach out to him, to comfort him. She wanted to put her hand on his shoulder but didn’t, and kept walking in silence until Jack spoke again.

“I guess the world must not have been kind to you as well, for you to end up here.”

“I actually had a very full life, I only ended up here because of…“ Ariella trailed off and bit her lip.

Jack inhaled deeply, and sighed. “Because of me,” he finished for her.

He looked down at his boots again, and Ariella could almost _see_ the guilt eating him alive. She figured now would be a good time to put her hand on his back. Jack seemed surprised by the gesture and looked at Ariella curiously. 

“You’re not angry with me?” he asked, to which Ariella shook her head.

Jack looked at her for a few seconds and then again off in the distance, and Ariella removed her hand.

“Why are you helping me?” he asked. Jack noticed Ariella’s eyes un-focus for a second, and there was an emotion on her face he couldn’t quite identify.

“I’ve always been quite foolish,” she said wistfully.

Jack wanted to know more, but he didn’t want to dig more into the conversation because he knew it would be rerouted back to him, and he was too tired for that right now.  So that marked the end of their exchange for a while and they continued on in silence.

* * *

 

 

There was no path that Ariella was leading Jack on and he had no idea how she knew where she was going, or if she was even leading him anywhere at all. She could’ve been lost and wandering around without telling him and he would never know. He tried not to think about the possibility that she was leading him astray, further and further from his ultimate destination. He should at least give her the benefit of the doubt. Ariella seemed determined and wasn’t picking her turns at random so Jack decided to trust her to know where she was going. He had more to worry about than simply getting lost in the nothingness of the Abyss; he could easily deal with a few stray chains. Whatever awaited him at the place Ariella was taking him to, that he wasn’t sure if he could handle. After what happened back at the tunnel, and with Alice, Jack was infinitely more wary of what was to come.

“We need to go through here to get to Lacie,” Ariella said, not explaining any further. Jack wondered if she was doing that to him on purpose.

Jack looked off into the distance and was able to make out some looming black structure. He hoped it wasn’t some cursed monolith or something else equally as ridiculous. As they drew closer, Jack was able to determine that it was, in fact, a massive arched gate. What it led to, Jack was hesitant to find out.

Jack looked up at the giant arch as they approached and it seemed even more ominous up close. Black iron bars reached several feet into the air and towered over him, and dead, blackened vines entwined around them like snakes. What was most disturbing was the name at the top of the gate. _Guilty_. It was written in letters that looked like they were made out of twisted wires coming undone with age, drooping and unraveling and giving off a spidery effect.  

Jack suddenly felt very queasy just looking at it.

Ariella took a deep breath before speaking. “This,” she gestured to the arch, “is the Guilty Graveyard.”

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure if Lacie's hair is actually black or just a really deep brown, but deep brown is what I'm going with.


	6. Look at What You've Done

Something about the name struck him with an intense fear so strong, he could feel a twisting inside his gut at the _wrongness_ of it all. He had a strong urge to just take off and run and never come back, but he knew he needed to go through this God forsaken place to get to Lacie. For her, he would brave anything.

Jack peered through the iron bars to try and see what exactly he was getting himself into, but the whole place was surrounded in a thick purple haze. He couldn’t see more than a few feet ahead, but at least he could see that there was a path and they wouldn’t be wandering blindly through the fog.

Jack swallowed nervously as Ariella pushed open the doors of the gate.

“Why is it called that?” Jack asked as he warily stepped through the iron gate.

Ariella had already looked unnerved when they arrived, but his question only intensified her discomfort. Jack had seen something dreadful in her eyes, but she looked especially haunted when he asked. She looked out into the fog like she saw something terrible approaching, then she abruptly shifted her gaze to the broken cobblestone path beneath her feet.

“It just is,” she said definitively and looked at Jack, “and whatever you do, do not step off the path.”

Jack knew that by her tone, Ariella was done talking. He had so many questions he wanted to ask her, like why a graveyard was in the Abyss in the first place and why they had to go through it to get to Lacie, but he decided to give her some peace. They walked down the path in silence.

Jack looked around at the dreary landscape, it was as if they were inside some giant purple cloud. The purple haze blurred everything around them so Jack could only see a few feet away, and the fog was so thick he could barely breathe. Glittering green shimmered in the air like mist. It should have been beautiful, but Jack could only find it foreboding.

There was only one thing missing from the graveyard’s ominous atmosphere; the graves. Jack hadn’t seen a single grave since they entered, and they had been walking for a while. It was all just pure purple nothingness they were surrounded with.

“Um…Ariella?” Jack asked, still trying to see through the thick miasma.

“Hm?”

“If this is supposed to be a graveyard, where are the graves?”

Ariella bit the inside of her cheek and didn’t look at Jack, keeping her gaze forward on the path. They continued walking and just as Ariella opened her mouth to speak, Jack felt something squish under his boot. He stopped, and Ariella pressed her lips together in a thin, fine line and scrunched up her nose in disgust. Judging by her reaction, Jack thought he had stepped in the waste of a chain but he looked down and saw a severed human finger. His eyes widened with revulsion.

“What the—?!”

Ariella swallowed and turned away from Jack. She looked down the path nervously and said, ‘’come on, we have a long way to go.”

Jack ran to catch up with her. He grabbed her shoulder and she looked back at him with sorrowful eyes.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

Ariella said nothing and turned away from him, mechanically walking down the path in front of them.

“Ariella!” Jack shouted. She only stared blankly at him with those uneasy eyes.

He yelled at her to tell him where they were headed and what was going on, but Ariella remained silent as they continued on. After a few minutes Jack saw a whole severed arm off to the side, crudely cut off at the base of the shoulder. It had belonged to a female; the fingers were thin and the nails painted red, and it was clothed in a bloodstained white silk sleeve. Jack stared at it for a few seconds, wondering who it could’ve belonged to, and why it was there, but he had to keep moving to keep up with Ariella, who refused to stop. He figured she wasn’t going to tell him anything, so he decided not to ask.

They kept walking in awkward silence, but it was more frightening than it was awkward. Maybe Ariella didn’t know what was going on either, Jack thought, and that would explain why she wasn’t talking. He was deeply disturbed by what they had seen, and the thought of what was yet to come. It must’ve affected Ariella to the point of not wanting to talk about it. She was just a young girl. This place must’ve scared her a lot more than it scared him. He could understand why she wanted to keep moving and get out of this place as soon as possible, but he couldn’t get rid of the feeling that she _knew_ something. She kept avoiding looking him in the eyes, but Jack could see the haunted look she had in hers.

Jack inhaled sharply. A decapitated head lie on the side of the path, its mouth opened in a terrified scream. Jack couldn’t be sure, since the eight years he had been involved in the noble’s court were nothing more than a blur of masks and misery, but he swore that the head looked exactly like a woman he had known. Although, Jack wasn’t even sure what was real anymore.

“What _is_ this place?” Jack breathed out in a shaky whisper. He received no answer.

 

He and Ariella walked further down the winding path way in silence. The next few severed body parts scattered along the sides of the path were enough to set them on edge, so when the fog started to clear up, Jack wasn’t sure what to expect. The fog didn’t go away completely, just enough so that they could see further off the path on both sides. At first he had wished for it to clear so that he could at least see where they were, but now he didn’t want to.

That’s when they saw the first body.

It was whole, thankfully; a man with a deep slash across his chest. Jack thought the face looked awfully familiar and he shuddered. He often did… _errands_ for the court men in exchange for them boosting his social status, and even though he couldn’t remember every individual face, he had a terrible feeling that he knew this man. He tore his gaze from the man’s face, and focused his attention on the cobblestone pathway. It took a moment for him to realize he was wringing his hands and he suddenly missed the purple fog.

They continued walking and saw more bodies along both sides of the path. At first it was only a few at a time but then they started increasing at an exponential rate. Soon the corpses were almost covering all the visible ground around the path they walked on. Some were missing arms or legs or heads, and many had a giant slash across the chest, like they had been haphazardly cut down with a sword that had no concern for elegance. Jack wondered what kind of gruesome battle had taken place here, since the people all wore civilian clothes. What kind of monster would murder this many innocent people?

Oh right, _him_.

The thought struck Jack with such an unnerving distress that he stumbled on a broken stone and fell to his knees. He braced himself with his palms outstretched and they scraped against the damaged stones. The staggering pain barely registered to him as he looked upon the face of a dead woman who lie in front of him. He had been trying to avoid looking too closely at any of the bodies, especially their faces, but now he was forced to look at one up close and he could see perfectly clearly. Jack knew this woman. Her name was Melanie Tarabat. She ran a restaurant in his hometown where he spent a lot of time to avoid the wrath of his unstable mother. Jack would come into the restaurant with a new bruise on his jaw and Melanie would give him a big hug and a bowl of her special chicken noodle soup; her famous “cure-all.” She always made sure he was getting enough to eat.

In exchange for the food, Jack would help Melanie in the kitchen. He would peel vegetables, wash dishes, and sometimes he would sweep the restaurant and bus tables. Melanie kept insisting that the food was free for him, but Jack felt guilty taking it since the restaurant was already struggling as it was. And he liked working there, it gave him purpose. Jack didn’t know what else there was to do to while he was avoiding his mother, besides joining a street gang of local urchins. (That hadn’t really panned out for him when he tried to join, back when he was too young and stupid to know that scrawny boys like him were easy targets and too vulnerable to manipulation). Besides, the restaurant had a nice atmosphere. It was warm and cozy, despite the door being perpetually broken and never shutting all the way. But he was happy there. It was little more than a small, run down shack on the corner of one of the many lower west side streets, but for a while, it was the closest thing to what Jack could call home.

Jack grew up in one of the poorest neighborhoods of Sablier so a lot of the buildings were decrepit with increasing neglect, but he didn’t mind much it being that way. Jack would chat with Melanie and the restaurant patrons, and at the end of the day Melanie would send him off with a hug and kiss on his forehead and tell him to come back again to try her new recipes. Melanie had always had that paternal instinct in her and Jack had wondered if she had kids of her own; he had never seen them. She was more of a parent to Jack than his own mother was, for a short while at least.

The restaurant eventually went bankrupt and Melanie moved away to work in the factories in the northern quarter of Sablier, and Jack never saw her again. He still remembered how she had personally sought him out, just to say goodbye.

After his mother had died he had wished the restaurant was still there, as there were many nights when he went hungry out on the streets. No one wanted to be responsible for one more worthless bastard, so they all ignored him. Too absorbed in their own lives to even acknowledge him, except to shoo him away from their storefronts. And to smack him with a broomstick when he got caught stealing a loaf of bread— _that_ had been an interesting day.

Everyone turned away when they saw him sitting on street corners begging for food, refused to see how thin he had gotten. Ignored the gauntness of his skin, or his trembling blue fingers reaching for warmth on a cold winter day. Melanie was one of the few that had actually cared what happened to him, and did what she could to see that he had been healthy and fed.

Jack had wished to see her again many times when he was a boy, but never did he want it to be like this. Here she was in right front of him, with her glassy eyes looking right through him. Jack remembered how she used to smile at him with so much carefree happiness that he could never understand it. Now her mouth was gaping open in a frightened scream. A tooth was missing. There was a cut on her lip that stained them bright red and blood trickled down the side of her face from a gash on her forehead. Then there was that horrible, crude slash across her chest that Jack had seen on many of the other bodies. Melanie’s purple dress was in bloodied tatters, and her hands were glistening a sickly crimson. Jack suddenly felt a terrible pain in his head just looking at her.

Before he knew it, he was bent over the side of the path, retching. His ears were ringing and his head felt like it was going to explode. His vision blurred and distorted; all he could see were Melanie’s wide eyes staring emptily through him.

Jack felt someone put a hand softly on his back and he remembered Ariella was still with him. _Oh god, Ariella._ Jack was so concerned with himself and his _stupid,_ meaningless problems that he hadn’t even thought about how this might be affecting her. Ariella was only a child, and if Jack was having this much trouble dealing with their surroundings, he couldn’t imagine what she might be going through. Oh, he really was a selfish bastard.

He sat on the path and wiped his mouth with his sleeve—which he would never have done in the real world—but Jack couldn’t care less about appearances now. He just wanted to know what was going on with this place, but at the same time he didn’t want to find out.

He sat there for what felt like a long time, breathing heavily, and his head pounded like a drum. He ran his hands down his face and wrapped them tightly around himself, trying to stop the rapid beating of his heart. Ariella had been sitting next to him the whole time.

She leaned her head on his shoulder and said softly, “it’s alright, Jack. You’re alright.”

Jack looked down at her. “What happened here?” he whispered shakily. He bit his bottom lip to keep it from trembling.

Ariella unwrapped her arms from around him and studied him. The look in her eyes was strange and discomforting; it made her look far older than she really was. She gazed at him with a look of fire and destruction, of horror and desolation. _Condemnation_. It was so sorrowful and disappointed that, for a second, Jack wondered what she had seen that had put that look in her eyes.

“Something that should never happen again,” was all she said.

Ariella got up, extended a hand to Jack, brushed herself off, and continued walking down the path without another word. Jack noticed there was a stiffness in her steps and she was walking at a much faster pace than before. _Odd_ , Jack thought, since she had so far always walked side by side with him.  

“Ariella?” Jack said tentatively.

Ariella looked over her shoulder to face him with tears in her eyes. Her eyes were softer now, but Jack felt the nauseatingly pitying look she was giving him right now was worse than the haunted look from before. Jack hoped her pity was for the poor dead souls that lined their path, and _not_ for him. Hatred he could deal with, but pity, no, that wasn’t something he needed.

They continued down the path in silence.

 

They walked down the path and encountered body after body, lining the outskirts of the path and the surrounding area. There were so many of them, all so brutally slaughtered, it made Jack sick. Most had that same hastily-done slash across the chest, with some missing limbs and sometimes heads, and some had slit throats. Some bodies had gashes on their faces like they had tried to fight, but had ultimately failed and ended up here. The one thing they all had in common, though, was the undeniable sense of familiarity Jack felt about them. Of course he didn’t know who they all were, but every once in a while he would see a face and it would take him back to his childhood, or days at the noble’s court. The woman with a slash on her palm could have been someone he once spent the night with, or a man with blood trickling from his mouth could have been a guard at his father’s estate. Jack felt a terrible sinking feeling with each new face he saw.

He shook his head. It was too impossible; these people just looked similar to those he had known in Sablier. He was confused, tired, the faces were probably just blending together and recreating images of people he only vaguely remembered. That must have been it; Jack hadn’t cared to memorize the faces of people he met, only Lacie’s. Only ever Lacie. She was the only one that mattered.

Jack wrapped his arms around his midsection and looked down at his boots. He laughed at the bitter irony of it all; he could remember every single detail of Lacie’s face, every pore on her porcelain cheeks, every shimmer of life in her crimson ruby eyes, every smile on her perfect rosy lips. He could remember all of this even when he hadn’t seen her for so long, yet he couldn’t even remember what his _own_ face looked like. Was is painted in hatred, anger, sadness, _guilt_ , or was he simply a mask of bright smiles and shiny disposition? Was that all he was, fake smiles and empty eyes?

_Empty_.

That’s right. He wasn’t any of those things. He was _nothing_.

_Water_. That’s what they always compared him to. You could never see its true intentions. It showed you a reflection of the sunlight glinting off the water in dancing flaming sparks. It tricked you with something so deceptively simple that you were a fool for not realizing it at the start but it was so clever because it didn’t even look like a trick at all. It was just whatever floated beneath the water, the rocks and the weeds and the fish and the deceptive cunning. You couldn’t see it of course, too caught up in the beautiful and sunlit reflection that you didn’t realize it was pulling you closer to the water before you were in too deep and you couldn’t get to the surface and you were drowning in all that pitch black murky water. Then, only then, would you be able to see what lurked beneath the waves. And it was not beautiful. It’s what made up the tattered shreds of his soul; something so clear, it was almost as if it was never there at all.

Jack felt laughter bubble up in his throat and he threw his head back to look towards a heaven he would never reach.

_Lacie_.

 

Now Everyone in Sablier was dead because of him.

Jack cast a glance over to the expanse of corpses and his stomach lurched. He thought he was going to be sick again. He started blinking rapidly, feeling his damp eyelashes’ on his cheeks and his breathing came out in short, shallow gasps. It felt like he was drowning.

_Impossible_.

_Impossible_.

Jack knew what had happened to these people, although he hoped it wasn’t true.

He looked to the side and noticed that Ariella had moved closer to him. He had forgotten she was even there. Jack didn’t know how long she had been standing there, regarding him with concern. Whether it was for him or her own safety, he didn’t know.

“Did I…do this?” Jack asked, his eyes wide. He silently pleaded she would say no.

Ariella was quiet for a beat, like she was contemplating whether or not she should answer him. Then she nodded.

“This is your graveyard of corpses, Jack. Look at what you’ve done.”


	7. Zombie Surfing

_Look at what you’ve done._

Ariella’s words echoed in his head and the increasing cacophony of screaming thoughts was so deafeningly loud he couldn’t hear anything else. Jack shook his head vigorously. _No, no, no,_ this wasn’t what he wanted! He just wanted to grant Lacie’s final wish, he just wanted to make her happy, he just wanted to be with her! It wasn’t supposed to turn out like this… _this wasn’t what he had wanted to happen!_

He remembered thinking the exact same thing when Alice’s dead body fell to the floor. _He hadn’t wanted it to turn out like this._

Jack looked out at all the carnage, the brutal savagery the Baskerville’s had wreaked upon the citizens of Sablier. The deaths of people he once knew, that was all his doing. He had caused this.

Something jarred loose within him. His hands trembled as he raised them over his face because he didn’t want to see the gruesome display anymore. _He didn’t want this._

Jack took a small step back, then another, consumed by the realization that everything they had seen in this God forsaken place was of his doing. He didn’t even hear Ariella scream when he stepped off the path, he only felt the softness of his palms on his eyelids and didn’t see Ariella reach out for him. He didn’t want to be here anymore. He just wanted to disappear. It would have been better if he had never existed at all…then everyone would still be alive.

“Oh Jack…what have you done?”

A shaky, frightened voice broke through Jacks panic. It couldn’t have been Ariella speaking, she was never afraid. Not of the chains, not of him, not of _anything_. What could have gotten her so terrified? Jack let his hands drag down his face and fall to his sides to just hang there limply. He looked at Ariella and saw a look of pure terror on her face.

“I told you not to step off the path,” she said.

She couldn’t be serious, being so afraid over the Abyss’s stupid rules at a time like this. All Jack could think about right now was the fact that he had caused so much destruction and chaos and death. He didn’t care about the rules of the Abyss, he didn’t care what Ariella had to say to him about the path, he didn’t—

Something grabbed his ankle.

Jack looked down and saw a bloodied fleshy hand wrapped around his ankle, and attached to that was the body a dead man. The man stared up at Jack from its position of lying on the ground by his feet, and the corpse’s cold, dead eyes were filled with hatred and vengeance. His jaw hung at an odd angle and his words were nothing more than drunken slurs, but Jack could make out that the zombie was mumbling “ _murderer_ ” over and over again. Jack’s face contorted in disgust and he kicked the dead man away.

 He looked up and saw that the man wasn’t the only undead in the vicinity. Every corpse around him was starting to wake up. They moved slowly, testing out their old limbs, and they all trampled and stepped on one another as they tried to get up. All of their eyes, if they even had them, were dark and angry. The collective mumbling of “ _murderer_ ” soon grew to a deafening roar. Jack knew where they were all headed as they stumbled to get up. These were the poor souls he had killed in Sablier. They were out for revenge.

“Jack!” Ariella screamed.

Her scream broke Jack out of his stupor and he scrambled back onto the path.

“Run!” Ariella yelled.

Jack barely had time to process what was happening before Ariella grabbed his wrist and took off down the path. Jack tripped over his own feet trying to get his balance as he was dragged away, but he managed to catch up with Ariella. She was still holding his wrist while they ran and she turned to look back at him.

“Were almost at the end!” she yelled.

Jack looked forward to see a giant mountain of zombies piled on top of each other and just starting to wake up. They groaned mournfully, reaching out arms and legs to try and escape the pile. Jack could see their angry eyes crying tears of blood. And just like all the others, they chanted the single word “ _murderer_.”

 An elaborate gold throne that was fit for a king sat atop the mountain of bodies, with a jeweled gold crown hung on the back. If he wasn’t so terrified, Jack would’ve rolled his eyes at the symbolism.

“The crown is the key!” Ariella yelled at him.

“What?!” Jack shouted.

“The key to get out of here!” Ariella shouted and let go of his wrist, darting off the path and disappearing into the remaining purple fog.

Jack didn’t have time to wonder about where she was going. He kept running and he focused in on the pile of zombies with growing apprehension. Getting chased by them just wasn’t enough, of course he had to climb a whole mountain of them now. He was not looking forward to this.

Jack stopped in front of the mountain, just out of reach of the arms grasping for him. He looked behind himself with wide eyes, and was relieved to see that at least the other zombies that had been chasing him were far behind. It was a good thing they were incredibly slow, though this did nothing to decrease his fears. There were just so many of them.

A whole hoard of zombies out to get him and his only escape was to climb a mountain of bodies. Talk about stuck between a rock and a hard place. Jack turned back around to look at the mound and cursed. It was a massive amount of zombies, but not all of them had woken up yet. The ones that had were stuck in the pile, weighed down by all the others on top of them. None had escaped yet. As long as they remained trapped, it wasn’t likely they could do too much damage. They were too stupid to make any type of real attack anyway, even if he was going to be only a few inches away. At least, that’s what Jack tried to tell himself. He needed to psych himself up for this.

Jack gritted his teeth and reached out to the struggling zombies. Their arms grasped at him, tugging his coat and thrashing at his face, but Jack moved closer still. He winced when he grabbed a woman’s shoulder because he could feel how cold it was even through the fabric of her blouse, and Jack hoisted himself up onto the mountain. He stepped on a man’s face and it grumbled at him, but continued its chant.

“Sorry,” Jack forced out. He felt like he was going to be sick again.

He continued climbing, trying to use their shoulders and arms as hand holds, but he couldn’t avoid stepping on them. They kept reaching out for him and grabbing at his clothes and tugging at him. They grabbed his braid and pulled, and even though their grip was weak, his head was still pulled back and he almost toppled over. He had to be careful not to get pulled off the mountain. 

The woman zombies had surprisingly sharp nails, he found out, as they kept scratching his face. Their long nails dragged down his cheeks and Jack could feel hot blood drip from the cuts. He could feel the blood from the zombies mortal wounds seep in through his Jacket and through his once pristine white shirt. It felt cold and sticky, and made his shirt cling to his chest and his stomach churn.

One zombie bit his calve and he gave it a good kick to the face.

Jack looked up while he was climbing—it was a slow process getting to the top—but at least he was almost there. He couldn’t wait to be off of this terrible thing, and hopefully never have to encounter anything else like this ever again.

 A female zombie dislodged herself from a spot near the top of the mountain and screeched as she jumped down at Jack with her arms thrashing wildly. Jack cursed and closed his eyes and pressed himself close to the mountain, hoping the woman would miss him. He felt the softness of the zombies flesh press against his own, the stickiness of their blood seeping in through his clothes, the stinging pain of the scratches they gave him while he was so close to them, but he kept himself pressed against them until he heard a thud on the ground. Jack unstuck himself from the mountain and cursed again, then looked down at the splattered corpse at the base of the mountain.

Jack was panting by the time he was able to grab onto the leg of the throne. He climbed up onto the throne and came to his knees in the seat to grab the crown off of the back. His body was shaky with fatigue and he had to swipe the blood off his brow to keep it from getting in his eyes, but as he stood up, he knew he was not climbing back down this awful mountain. No matter how dangerous it was, Jack didn’t really care at the moment. He put a foot on the back of the throne and tilted it forward. It came crashing down onto the soft bodies of the awakening zombies and Jack stumbled a bit, but quickly regained his balance. The throne glided down the mountain, trampling over the zombies outstretched arms, and the gold was stained red with their blood.

The throne slid a ways out across the floor before Jack stepped off. He heard the mumblings of the zombie hoard behind him and he knew he didn’t have much time to regain his balance before they came for him. So he took off running.

“Jack, come on!” Ariella called out to him.

Ariella stood in front of a huge wooden double door that was at least twice Jack’s height. A marble bust sat atop a pedestal to the right. Jack ran up to Ariella and put his hands on his knees, panting.

“Where did you—“ Jack said between breaths but was cut off by Ariella telling him to hurry up.

_If I’m going to be doing all the dirty work, you could at least give me a break,_ Jack thought bitterly, before the thought was replaced by the need to get out of the zombie-infested room. Jack looked up at Ariella and she pointed to the bust.

“You need to put the crown on that to open the doors,” Ariella explained.

Jack looked at the detailed bust and noticed it was almost an exact replica of himself. There was a gold placard on the pedestal that said “Hero of Sablier” but the word “ _hero_ ” was deliberately scratched out. Jack let out a breathy laugh as he placed the crown on the marble head.

The outer edges of the door glowed with glossy white light and flashed brilliantly. Ariella tugged at the ornate doorknobs but the huge doors were too heavy for her small arms. She looked behind herself anxiously, seeing the hoard of zombies draw nearer. Jack shooed her from the front of the door and tried pulling on the door handles himself. His arms ached with exhaustion and he groaned with the effort, but he managed to open the doors enough for Ariella to slip through. Jack felt a tug at his coat as he went through the doors, but he closed them just in time before any of the zombies managed to get in. He and Ariella were both breathing heavily by the time they got through and Jack slumped to the ground in front of the door. He exhaled as he tilted his head back, hearing the _thump_ as his head hit the wood. He closed his eyes while he tried to catch his breath, then looked sideways at Ariella, who sat next to him.

“I am NEVER doing that again,” Jack grumbled. 


	8. Prey

Jack and Ariella both had no idea where they had ended up, but after the whole escapade with the zombies, they were too tired to care. Jack hoped that nothing else would come after him, at least for a couple of hours. He and Ariella just wandered for a while, trying to find somewhere to sleep, but they were both so exhausted that they gave up and slept on the floor. It was certainly colorful, like an endless sea of rainbow water, but Jack was surprised by how soft it was. The watery substance was not wet at all and didn’t leave him drenched when he lied down.  It washed up against him like waves on the shore. It had been a long time since Jack had felt relaxed, but the sound of the “waves” calmed his frayed nerves and lulled him to sleep.

Ariella waited for Jack to fall asleep, and she made sure his breathing was steady and even before she left. She didn’t want him to wake up and find her not there, so she knew she couldn’t take too long. But judging from what Jack had just gone through, Ariella expected him to sleep for a long time.

Ariella and ignored the looks directed her way. She was positively fuming after what had just happened—how dare those dreadful _Ciasstolas_ do such a thing. Cruel, cruel and unnecessary; that’s what it was. Ariella visibly _hmphed_ and crossed her arms as she stomped up the steps of the gazebo. Her agitation was clear on her face and she made all the other Ciasstolas know it too, by glaring at anyone who dared to move. She circled the gathering of masked figures and sighed heavily when she noticed Mattrich was missing. That meant Ariella would have to wait amongst the others until she arrived, which she was loathe to do. She stood in a small clearing in the left corner edge and shot venomous glares at any _Ciasstolas_ that looked her way. They all creeped her out with their eerie smiles and dark eyes, always watching. _Like prey_.

Ariella had to give Mattrich a report of her progress so that Mattrich could deliver the message to the Will of the Abyss. Ariella didn’t really see the point in the whole system. Mattrich and the others had eyes all over the Abyss and the Will of the Abyss saw everything. This was her domain. Ariella was required to report periodically anyway, but she didn’t really put much effort into it. The sinister atmosphere surrounding the Ciasstolas made her uneasy, which added to her displeasure. She could almost _feel_ their eyes on her. Ariella _hmphed_ again and narrowed her eyes at no one in particular. 

“Looks like somebody is back from babysitting the bastard,” Dietry laughed as she entered the circle. A few chuckles echoed around the group from various members.

“Why are you with him anyway? Must be so horrible, to spend so much time with that monster,” one figure said, but there was no trace of pity for Ariella in his voice.

“ _Someone_ needs to lead Jack to the trials or he would never find them,” Ariella stated flatly, not giving away that she genuinely enjoyed going on this adventure with Jack. Despite all the hardships they’d faced, she liked being there to support him. Ariella figured she was the only one who actually cared about him as a person. She couldn’t admit that to her team because, _no_ , that would be absolutely _absurd_.

“But why does it have to be _you_ ,” a slender figure asked. Ariella recognized her as the Ciasstolas they called Liena. Ariella had never spoken to Liena, but if she was like any of the other Ciasstolas, Ariella didn’t want to.

“I’m qualified,” Ariella said simply, “and do any of you even know anything about him at all?”

Liena laughed sensuously. “Oh I know _plenty_ ,” she ran her tongue lightly over her carmine lips and glanced upwards, like she was recalling a pleasant memory. “Jack was quite popular with noblewomen,” she smirked, “I’ve seen _all_ of him.”

Ariella’s lip curled in disgust at Liena’s absolute ignorance. How could she possibly be so dense?

Liena bent down so she was eye level with Ariella, “you’ll understand when you’re older,” she said and winked. 

Ariella put her hand on her hip and smiled sardonically. “Oh I understand perfectly,” she leaned forward to mimic Liena’s condescending action, “you’re a filthy whore.”

Liena immediately straightened out and her eyes widened in shock at Ariella’s audacity. _Ciasstolas_ sitting around them hollered and laughed, and Liena shot them all a fierce glare. It didn’t shut them up, and Liena crossed her arms over her chest, disgruntled. Ariella smirked, victorious.

“Now, now, Elizabeth, don’t tease poor Liena. She can’t help being stupid,” Mattrich’s voice came from above.

The _Magjistarѐ_ stood on higher ground above the group of _Ciasstolas_ like a queen ruling over her subjects. The laughter died instantly. Mattrich sauntered down to the masked figures and they parted to let her pass into the circle. She stood a good distance away from Ariella, but she could still feel Mattrich’s cold chill on her skin. The woman always seemed to carry a chilling air with her wherever she went.

Ariella knew Mattrich wasn’t referring to Liena’s ignorance about Jack’s true self, but a different matter that only she, Ariella, and the Will of the Abyss were privy to. Ariella didn’t want to get into the details so she shifted the conversation before Mattrich could continue.

“I came to give you my report,” Ariella snapped, nerves frayed with irritation.

Mattrich tilted her head to the side and crossed her arms over her chest, giving Ariella a bored look. Ariella knew it was a farce, Mattrich always enjoyed seeing Jack in pain. She hoped Mattrich wasn’t planning anything new, but judging from the look on her face, it was going to be something entirely new and twisted that Ariella would have to deal with. She still ached to give her an earful about the last trial. She took a deep breath before beginning her speech, and hoped that they wouldn’t put Jack even more through the wringer than he already was.

“Jack has been making great progress through the trials, but with all due respect, I think we should tone down their intensity,” Ariella said with a strained voice.

“Well if they’re working, I don’t see any reason why we should stop,” Mattrich said with a small, knowing smile. She knew perfectly well what Ariella was trying to do. “Don’t you agree?”

“Yes, but—“ Ariella started to say.

“The bastard deserves what he gets,” Dietry piped in. Ariella shot her a glare and was met with a smug grin that Ariella would’ve loved to punch right off Dietry’s face.

Warrigan, leaning on Dietry, scoffed. “That monster doesn’t deserve redemption. We’re giving him far more than what he deserves.”

“Don’t you think you’re being a bit too harsh? These trials are taking a terrible toll on him,” Ariella tried to argue. “And that last one…you could have seriously hurt him! What were you all thinking, sending a billion zombies after him? And making him climb that vile mountain? You can’t _do_ something like that…” Ariella trailed off when she noticed the faces of the _Ciasstolas_ and realized she was shouting.

Mattrich waved her hand, dismissing her rant. “Oh, hush up. They weren’t _real_ zombies, just some illusions cast by chains. We gave them physical form with a little bit of magic. Jack was never in any _real_ danger.”

Ariella looked incredulous. “How _dare_ you—“ she started to say, but was silenced by an intense glare from the _Magjistarѐ_ that meant the end of her side of the argument.

“Besides, they’re _working_. That’s what matters,” Warrigan retorted.

“And Jack has taken a _terrible toll_ on us. Don’t you think we should get him back for all that he’s done to us? To the whole of Sablier?” Dietry added.

“And what makes you think he can even be saved? Huh, _Elizabeth_?” Mattrich asked, annunciating her name. Her voice was the same volume as the rest, but way more powerful.

The question rang in Ariella’s ears, mostly because she wasn’t completely sure of it herself. As much as she hated to admit it, she didn’t know if Jack _could_ be saved. She wanted, oh she wanted so desperately for him to be saved, for him to be able to save himself, but she didn’t know if he could. He was too _broken_ to do it himself. He _was_ showing progress; Ariella had never lied in her reports (at least, not about that). But she had never known a time when Jack wasn’t obsessed with Lacie. She didn’t think she ever would. Ariella wanted to believe in him, but everything was so up in the air that she didn’t know what to believe in.

Nevertheless, she would have faith in him.

“I will do everything in my power to make sure that he is,” Ariella said and gave a curt nod.

She turned her back on all the white robed figures and stalked off without another word. She needed to get back to Jack before he woke, and he would never know that she was gone.

 

Jack stood at the edge of the cliff overlooking the chasm. A rather precarious looking bridge extended from one side to the other, but Jack was wary about crossing it. It looked rickety at best, with old worm-eaten boards held together by fraying rope and rusty nails. It was thin, only one person would be able to move across at a time, and it was such a length that Jack doubted being able to cross it before it collapsed under him. He looked over his shoulder at Ariella, who stood a few feet behind him.

“Absolutely not,” Jack said incredulously.

Ariella shrugged, not at all apologetic or worried. “It’s the only way across unless you suddenly sprout some wings.”

Jack laughed, despite his apprehension. “You and I both know that I’m no angel,” he said with a smirk.

He turned to stand at the edge of the bridge and Ariella clapped her hand on his back. He almost shrieked in terror as he was pushed forwards a ways, obviously not expecting Ariellas surprise. He gripped the two wooden posts on either sides of the bridge and Ariella had to laugh at the expression on his face.

“Not a monster either,” she giggled, but she was serious about what she said.

Jack inhaled and let go of the wooden posts holding up the bridge. He looked to the side at Ariella giving him that little smirk and he wondered how she could have possibly said something like that. He had _murdered_ her, hadn’t he? And here she was, standing there as his friend and joking with him. She believed in him; that he had a soul and could be saved and was somehow still human. It was a strange feeling, but Jack liked it. He had gotten so used to the hatred of the masses—because he agreed with them. But now here was someone who didn’t look at him with hatred. This was new. Jack didn’t know how to react to it, and he certainly couldn’t believe it.

“If only that were true,” he said with a wan half-smile. The laughter in Ariella’s eyes dimmed.

Jack took a deep breath and looked down at his feet as he took his first step onto the bridge. It shook ever-so-slightly and Jack grasped the handrails like his life depended on it—which it probably did—and he took another step. The bridge seemed to be holding his weight so Jack continued moving forward, slowly, centering his body so he would not disturb the fragile equilibrium he maintained over the gaping chasm. He didn’t dare look down, but he knew it was a long drop; one he was not in the mood to accommodate himself with.

“Hurry up, slowpoke, we haven’t got all day!” Ariella called from behind him.

Jack growled low in his throat. “Don’t rush me, brat.” 

Ariella guffawed at his response. “And we were getting along so well.”

Jack laughed at her mocking tone, but stopped immediately when he felt the bridge shake. The thing seemed hundreds of years old, he didn’t need it collapsing underneath him.

He continued moving, brushing his hands along the rope handholds and cautiously testing out each step. He moved slowly, as much for safety as to piss off Ariella behind him. Now that he thought about it, he hadn’t heard her make another comment since they left. It wasn’t like her, she was always making casual jabs at him or complaining about something. She was hardly ever silent, that is, unless she was nervous. Jack wondered if she was afraid of heights. They never seemed to bother her before, but Jack couldn’t be sure with her. He looked behind himself to see if she was alright, and he saw that she wasn’t there _at all_.

“Ariella!” he shouted, but all he got back was an echo.

Jack looked rapidly to either side of him, his braid slapping his shoulders. There was nothing around for miles. The chasm seemed endless, stretching off into the distance until it was little more than murky fog that he couldn’t see past. Jack looked down at his feet. The bridge was thin, barely giving him enough room to pass through, and it was terribly wobbly, so it was entirely possible that Ariella had fallen off. Fear gripped Jack heart and he hoped that wasn’t the case. Ariella was his only chance at saving Lacie, and the plucky blonde was starting to grow on him. He looked behind him again, gripping the ropes on either side to steady the swaying bridge.

“Ariella!” Jack screamed. It echoed in the distance.

“Ariella!” he tried again.

No reply but the echo.


	9. Echoes

He would have felt it if she had fallen off. The bridge had been relatively still with Jack going so slow, and her falling would have made some disturbance he would have noticed. And he would have heard her scream, or _something_. The fear that she had fallen began to subside, but it was still strange that she had just simply disappeared into thin air. Wherever she’d gone, Jack figured it was safer for her to be there than on this unstable bridge with him. Although he was a little miffed about her leaving. Jack _hmph-ed._

 

Ariella just as roughly as it had before, but finally Ariella was able to come without falling. She strode over to where the others were huddled over the looking glass, no doubt enjoying the show. Ariella pushed aside some faceless figures and stepped closer to the looking glass so she could see what was happening with Jack. She needed to get back to him, before he worried too much about her disappearing from that rickety bridge. She had been summoned away since she couldn’t be on the bridge with him during the trial. She also needed to make sure the Ciasstolas wouldn’t hurt Jack more than they already had, which she was sure they were going to try.

“Ah, Elizabeth, how kind of you to join us!” Mattrich said with sick delight as she clapped her hands together and strode confidently towards the looking glass. The white figures parted, giving her a wide berth that led straight to Ariella.

“this is going to be quite an exciting game this time, we only have a few left to do so we have to make them count,” Mattrich said and winked at Ariella, conveying the malicious nature beneath her words.

Ariella narrowed her eyes at Mattrich.

“What are you planning?” she deadpanned.

The corner of Mattrich’s mouth curved upwards and she glanced at the looking glass.

“Our revenge, of course. What do you think?”

Ariella could hear Warrigan clear his throat and it broke the tension that had risen between her and Mattrich. Ariella and Mattrich turned to him and he bowed nervously.

“My lady, I mean no disrespect, but are you sure it is wise to reveal our true intent?” he gestured his chin to the sky as if to indicate the Will of the Abyss was listening.

Mattrich’s smirk dropped and her face became a mask of displeasure.

“I will do as I please,” apathetic toward the thought of the Will of the Abyss being the ruler of the realm and deciding their fate.

 

Jack was nearing the middle of the bridge, the most dangerous part since it hung so low in the chasm. His hands clenched so tightly around the handrails that his knuckles had turned white, and he breathed very slow and shallow because he didn’t want to disturb the bridge’s fragile equilibrium. He had to force his arms and legs to stop shaking every time he took a step. He had never been afraid of heights and had often recklessly climbed Lacie’s tower, but he didn’t dare look down now at the darkened Abyss below him. This was an entirely different matter than just risking falling into a rosebush.

A voice.

It was strange and faraway sounding, as if it was coming from underwater. Jack dared to look behind him to see if Ariella had returned, but she had not and he was still alone. He wondered what the noise could have been then, as there was no one around him as far as he could see.

He heard it again.

It was so garbled and indecipherable that Jack tried not to pay any attention to it. He thought of it like one would think of a mosquito buzzing in their ear—an annoyance, and nothing more. Jack had had enough of mysterious voices to last him a lifetime, after what had happened with Alice, and the episode at the bloodied pond.

This voice was quiet enough so that Jack could ignore it and pay attention to the task at hand—getting across this bridge without dying. It would be such a pity for him to die now, after all he had done to get to Lacie. The thought that he would soon hold her in his arms once again kept him going. He had to get across the bridge and find Ariella, face whatever hellish task awaited him next, and he would be one step closer to his happiness.

_Would you do it again?_

The voice had gotten louder now, and less garbled. Jack could make out the words, but not the meaning, or the source. It sounded like it was right next to him, purring into his ear, and he jerked away from it but there was nothing there. He almost fell right off the side of the bridge and had to grab hold of the rope as he fell to his knees. The bridge swung and creaked and Jack’s heart pounded fast and heavy.

_Would you do it again?_

Jack slowly stood up, never letting go of the handrail, and looked up at the Abyss sky. It seemed darker now, somehow different, ominous. Jack couldn’t figure out why, but the Abyss never had any concept of “why” or “how,” it just _happened_. Jack wasn’t expecting an explanation any time soon.

_Would you do it all again?_

The incessant voice wouldn’t let up. At least it now it didn’t sound right like it was next to him. It seemed to be coming from all around; the all-encompassing echo of a thousand demon tongues. Jack tried to steady himself on the bridge and keep moving but he couldn’t ignore it anymore.

_Would you do it all again…for Lacie?_

Jack responded automatically, “I would do anything for Lacie.”

He didn’t even have to think about what he was saying; it was programmed in him to devote his entire being to Lacie and wait on her every whim. He needed to, it was his sole reason for being. Lacie was his lover, his purpose, his everything.

A strand of time-worn rope snapped on the handrail.

Jack startled, but luckily it didn’t seem to do any noticeable damage to the bridge. He tested the next step by tapping his foot lightly on the next wooden board and took another cautious step. The bridge still held his weight so he continued, albeit warily.

_Would you do it all again?_

Jack was starting to get really annoyed. He had a vague sense of what the disembodied voice was getting at, but he didn’t want to acknowledge it. He didn’t want to listen to what the voice had to say, but it persisted until Jack finally gave in and snapped, “do what?!”

_Why, the tragedy of course._

So it could hear him. Jack narrowed his eyes, suspicious.

“Why on earth would I want to do it again? Haven’t I already caused enough destruction?” he shouted, maybe a little bit louder than he really needed to but he didn’t have half a mind to care.

_So you regret your past actions?_

Oh, did he regret them alright. Every second of the day he was plagued by those screams, the faces of the citizens all wide eyed and bloody, Oswald and Alice trying to stop him and dying for it, not to mention poor Gilbert, Vincent, and even that damnable chain, B-Rabbit. He never forgot about all those he had broken and destroyed just to achieve his own pointless selfish goals. He could still see the pain of betrayal on their faces. He could still remember all the blood that had run in streets that night, and feel the heat of the fire that had engulfed the Baskerville’s mansion **.** These were the images that haunted his every waking hour, and every dream he awoke screaming from.

He didn’t tell the voice any of that, just let a simple nod be his answer.

_Hm._

The voice seemed to ponder this for a second, as if curious. Jack took this quiet moment to progress further on the bridge.

_Does that mean you wouldn’t do it again? Even for Lacie?_

This raised a whole other dilemma for Jack. He didn’t want to cause any more pain, but if anyone or anything stood in his way of getting to Lacie he would get rid of them by any means possible. If Lacie was threatened, he would do anything to save her, even throw away his own meaningless existence to whatever fate would have him. He would destroy everything all over again; he would destroy the whole world, and all she had to do was ask. He would do anything to please Lacie, no matter how it harmed him. He would take on all the regret and guilt so much that his body would be laden down and barely able to move. Throw away whatever humanity he might’ve had, all for her. He had done it before. He would do anything, go through anything, but he couldn’t bear to think of harm coming to his dear angel.

Jack was feeling determined, now more than ever, to reach Lacie. He had to save her from this hellish dimension, and then they would be free to love each other without reservation. Glen wasn’t here to tell him of her death anymore, and Jack would be able to finally see the cruel, beautiful world with Lacie. He didn’t care what he had to do to achieve his dream, only that he got it in the end. By any means necessary.

He was so lost in daydreams of his future with Lacie that when he stepped, he only nearly avoided falling. The rotten wooden board cracked under his weight and Jack pulled away just as it crumbled to dust. He watched it fall into the endless black Abyss below him and gripped the ropes until his hands were numb. He was left reeling for a moment, but he soon regained his composure and stepped carefully over the hole.

 

_You’re weak. Selfish. Arrogant._

Jack sighed. He knew that already, and if this new voice was only going to reverberate his own thoughts back at him, he might as well have ignored it.

_Do you think you can actually save Lacie, Hero of Sablier?_

Of course he could. He could do anything for his beautiful treasured Lacie. However, He didn’t appreciate the ironic usage of his false title.

_Do you even realize that you can’t save anyone? Monsters are not born to save, they are born to destroy. That is what you’re good at. You destroy everything you touch._

Jack breathed out through his nostrils and gripped the handrail with renewed intensity. He could see his hands starting to glow red and he removed them from the rope before they could incinerate it, but he was aggravated he couldn’t use B-Rabbits power to demolish these damn voices. Something soft and airy brushed past his face and he swatted it away.

_You have to save Lacie. She needs you._

Yes, Jack was fully aware of that. Thank you, disembodied woman’s voice in the sky.

_Would you kill to save her?_

Jack gritted his teeth and pushed forward.

_You’ve killed so many already, why would any more make a difference? It is to save Lacie, after all._

The woman’s voice had gotten a sort of excited lilt to it. Jack didn’t pay much attention, too focused on his task.

_Would you destroy the world for her?_

“Anything,” Jack said, determined.

He narrowly missed falling again as a board instantly rotted away and crumbled under his foot. He cursed and pulled away at the very last second and cautiously stepped over the gap. The male voice was laughing at him again.

_What a pitiable fool. Your mother must be proud of creating such a corrupt and twisted creature._

 “My mother was never proud of anything! She hated me!” he screamed.

Both voices were laughing at him now.

_Are you angry?_ The female voice asked him mockingly. _This is all for Lacie._

It was only ever about Lacie, Jack thought bitterly.

_Just kill everyone. You’ve done it before. It should be easy._

Something tightened in Jack’s heart. It may have been easy during the tragedy, but every day since then had been a struggle. He felt like he was falling apart inside. The guilt ate him alive.

_It’s all for Lacie. You have to save her._

Truthfully, Jack didn’t want to kill anyone. He didn’t want to hurt anyone ever again. He didn’t want to cause any more pain.

_That’s all you’re good at,_ the male voice reminded him.

 Jack pushed it away. He didn’t want to hurt anyone, but he steeled his heart against the guilt and braced himself to do anything for Lacie. The rope hand holds creaked. The bridge was visibly lower than it had been, which was definitely not a good sign, but it was holding up for the moment so Jack continued. He was almost to the other side of the chasm, and he was looking forward to the moment he could finally breathe again once he was on solid ground.

_Go on. Cause another tragedy. Anything for Lacie right?_

Jack ignored the ache in his heart and repeated the female’s voice with resolution.

“Anything for Lacie.”

He stumbled and felt himself falling, down, down, down, into the darkness of the Abyss.  


	10. Demon Fallen from Grace

He felt the _snap_ of the rope, the gut wrenching swing as he plummeted into the dark depths of the chasm. The bridge was, thankfully, still attached at the side he was trying to get to, so as long as he held on tight, he would be fine. Hopefully. He just had to survive long enough to climb up. He braced himself for the impact of his body on the jagged stone wall, clinging to the ropes that formerly had suspended the bridge. The stale air _whooshed_ past him, tousling his bangs and blowing his braid high above his head. He could feel the coldness on his cheeks, and the tingling of goosebumps pricking up his arms. His stomach was in his throat and he felt like he was going to be sick. He squeezed his eyes shut, hoping against hope that he wouldn’t fall to the bottom of the chasm.

Jack grunted in pain as his body slammed against the hard stone and moist dirt of the chasm walls. He kept his eyes closed, although he was seeing stars flash in and out of his vision. He made sure not to let his grip on the ropes loosen. The pain was sharp, like many knives dug into his flesh, but Jack tried to ignore it. He hung there for a moment, too tired to even think about climbing out of this hellhole, and he breathed heavily in an attempt to dull the pain.

_You are such a disgrace to humanity. Do you even have a soul?_

The male voice laughed at Jack. He chose to ignore it and focus on his current predicament. He finally managed to open his eyes and he didn’t dare look down, but he looked upwards to see how far he had to climb. There was a strip of yellow-green light stretching over his head, and he didn’t have that far to go. He hoped the bridge would hold up since the walls of the chasm were slippery and wet.

_You pathetic bastard, you should have never been born!_

Jack laughed hollowly. _You sound just like my mother_ , he thought. Jack found a foothold in between rungs of the fallen bridge and reached up and grabbed onto a higher rope to start his tedious climb. He only made it a few steps up when he heard the female voice speak again.

_Do it. Kill them! It’s to save Lacie, so KILL EVERYONE!_

Jack set his jaw and took a deep breath to try and ignore the voices. They had gotten louder since he had fallen, as if they lurked in the depths of the chasm waiting for him to fall into their clutches. Jack tried to grab the next rope above him but it snapped and he fell down a few rungs. The male voice howled with laughter.

_Just like an angel fallen from grace, except you weren’t born with any grace to begin with._

“And I’m certainly not an angel,” Jack responded between labored breaths. He climbed further.

_You’re tainted. Filthy. Worthless. You don’t deserve to be saved and you certainly can’t save anyone else,_ the male voice taunted.

“I will save Lacie!” Jack yelled.

_Then kill. Will you?_ The female voice asked.

Jack didn’t want to. He didn’t want to repeat the mistakes he had made on the night of the tragedy. He had caused so much pain and suffering, so much death and destruction. All of it had been because of him, and he was never going to forget that fact. The gaping hole in his heart wasn’t going to let him forget it. He regretted everything he did, he wished he could take it back, but he couldn’t. What was done was done, but he definitely didn’t want to make the same mistake again. He wasn’t _that_ much of a fool.

“No,” Jack said.

_Lacie will die._

“She _won’t_ ,” Jack argued, “I will save her no matter what.”

A board under his foot crumbled and he fell through, almost slipping off the bridge. Jack scrambled to grab hold of the rope and an unsteady board. The dangling bridge shook terribly. He was resolved to save Lacie, that was the whole purpose he was here in the first place, but he would not kill anyone else.

_THEN CAUSE ANOTHER TRAGEDY!_ The female voice screamed, persistent and high pitched.

She sounded livid. Jack smiled triumphantly.

“I’m not going to hurt anyone else,” Jack said as he grabbed the next rung on the bridge-ladder.

_That’s all you can do. You’re a monster,_ the male voice said.

_Are you willing to hurt someone if it was for Lacie?_ The female voice said, slightly calmer than before.

“I am not! I will save Lacie, but I will not repeat my mistakes. I am not going to cause another Tragedy!” Jack yelled as he climbed.

The voices continued to shout at him, but he was so close to the top. Almost there. If only these damn voices would stop yelling in his ears. They could spew as many insults as they wanted, he had endured enough of those during his lifetime that he could brush them off without a second thought. Some were true, some he wished weren’t, but he carried on nonetheless. They could taunt him all they wanted, but Jack was not going to cause another Tragedy. He didn’t care what they said, he would save Lacie. He loved Lacie with all his heart and he would find a way to save her without hurting anyone else.

_A man as twisted and corrupt as you is unfit to save anyone,_ the male voice taunted, _you’re too selfish to save anyone but yourself._

Jack could see the top, it was almost within his grasp. Just a little bit higher and he would make it. He reached for the next board to raise himself further. He felt he could reach out and touch the sky.

“I have never for a second thought it was possible to save myself,” he groaned with effort. His arms were shaking and fatigued, and he was sweating profusely, but he continued to climb.

“But I am terribly selfish, and I will save Lacie one way or another.”

Jack’s vision had started to blur and he wasn’t sure if it was from exhaustion or if sweat was getting into his eyes. His bangs were plastered to his forehead and his braid was in terrible disarray, but he didn’t care. All that mattered was getting to the top of the chasm. The voices were screaming so loud, and combined, they were indecipherable. Jack had a massive headache, but he ignored it and only focused on climbing. He put a hand over the ledge and grappled for purchase, but the land was smooth and flat so he ended up having to hoist himself over the edge. He fell, ungracefully onto the dirt, with his legs still dangling over the chasm, and everything blurred together. He thought the voices had stopped, or perhaps their screaming was the ringing he heard in his ears now. He thought his lungs were going to explode with how heavy he was panting, and his whole body burned like fire and ached. He could hear something off in the distance, but he couldn’t make out what it was. He groaned, too exhausted to deal with more disembodied voices insulting him. Although this one didn’t sound angry or hurtful, it sounded…concerned.

“Jack!”

“Jack, are you all right?”

“Can you hear me? Jack!”

The voice was quiet under all the ringing in Jack’s ears, and he could barely make out the words. It sounded so familiar though…

“Ariella,” Jack said, his own voice nothing more than a breathy whisper.

He could barely see the blurry form of the girl kneeling over him. Her hand was on his forehead, wiping away sodden strands of hair. He lifted his head to look at her, holding in a groan at how much effort it took to do even that. Ariella lightly slapped his cheeks but her eyes were filled concern. Jack didn’t have the energy to roll his eyes at her or bat her hand away, so he just smiled. It was weak and lopsided, but genuine; a rarity for him. His eyelashes’ fluttered and Ariella seemed to fade out of his vision even though she was right there in front of him.

Then he collapsed into darkness, and that was all there was for a while.

 

Ariella awoke to the light of early morning and blinked at the sky for a few moments. She didn’t particularly feel the inclination to get up, not with the ache in her arms after lugging an unconscious Jack away from that terrible chasm. The poor thing was exhausted. Ariella had dragged him away to a more stable location where he could sleep, and then she collapsed herself. Sleep did not come easy at first, as she thinking too much about the _Ciasstolas’_ plans. They had to stop tormenting Jack like that. She had had been with Mattrich as she cast her wicked spells on the looking glass and shouted those terrible things which echoed throughout the chasm. Strange magic; Ariella was intrigued as to how it worked, but the things Mattrich said to Jack…she sighed heavily. She had seen every reaction Jack to those words that hurt him most. She rolled onto her back and her arms flopped out on both sides of her. She turned her head to the side and saw Jack lying on the ground where she left him, still asleep, but seemingly distressed. He tossed and turned, and his face was contorted in pain and fear. She knew this look well.

Ariella sat down next to him and put her hand gingerly on his golden hair. Jack stirred, but didn’t wake. He had been asleep for the past twelve hours after that hellish ordeal at the chasm. Ariella wondered what was haunting him tonight. Ariella felt she should wake him from his nightmare, but he needed as much rest as possible for the trials to come. She knew it wasn’t going to end with the chasm, or the zombies, or that dreadful black smoke. It was probably the trials that were fueling his nightmares in the first place; Ariella experienced first-hand how hellish the _Ciasstolas_ had made them. It could’ve been anything though; Ariella knew Jack had a lot more to have nightmares about then some vengeful souls. Jack was right when he had said the world hadn’t been kind to him, and so he hadn’t been kind to it in return. It had broken him, broken his mind and soul and everything he didn’t believe that he was. It had stolen what goodness might have belonged to him...once upon a dream. Ariella saw what anger and vengeance did to a person. It was like holding a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone, but you’re the one that gets burned. And Jack, well, he was burned and broken in every way imaginable.

Jack cried out. Ariella figured this would be as good a time as any to wake him up.

“Hey, Jack, wake up,” Ariella whispered and lightly shook him.

Jack only opened his eyes a fraction and clung tightly to Ariella, burying his face in the fabric of her shirt. Ariella put her hand on his back and tried to soothe him.

“Liz…Liz…” he whimpered.

Ariella’s heart stung. She froze for a second, but continued rubbing circles on his back as she had been doing. Jack must not have seen her, his vision was probably too blurry from sleep and he must’ve thought she was someone else.

“Liz…Liz I’m sorry…” he cried.

“It’s alright, Jack, you’re okay, everything’s okay,” Ariella whispered. She didn’t feel the need to tell Jack of his mistake just yet, and she just let him rest for the moment.

It was a while before Jack had fully recovered, and he sat up and brushed his hand through his bangs. Ariella sat by his side.

“Was this ‘ _Liz’_ another one of your nightly rendezvous?” Ariella asked mockingly, eyebrow raised.

Jack’s eyes widened and he looked at her with startled recognition. He opened and closed his mouth like a fish. “I-I—uh…” he rubbed the back of his neck, “uh, no, she wasn’t, sorry, I…wasn’t thinking,” he said, stumbling over his words in his attempt to explain.

Ariella crossed her arms over her chest and _mm-hmmed_ sarcastically.

“I’m surprised you didn’t call out for Lacie.”

Jack seemed startled by this; it was even more apparent in his jumpy mood. He looked away from Ariella and then down at the ground.

“I didn’t think it was Lacie,” he said.

He stood up. “I’m going to…” he looked behind him, and then off in the distance, then back at Ariella, “I’m going to look for somewhere to freshen up.”

“Good,” Ariella said, and Jack looked at her sideways.

Jack left knowing that the casual and sarcastic atmosphere between them was back, despite what had just happened.

Still, he really was a bloody idiot.

 

Jack observed his footsteps each time his boots hit the ground. His feet would make the water-like floor ripple and he could see the vibration spread out and dissipate soundlessly. He pondered these small things, the little quirks he had previously overlooked, anything to take his mind off of what had just happened. How could he have been so utterly stupid? He had just been so surprised when he had woken up and Ariella had been asking him about Liz.

_…the sun and moon are in your heart…_

A painful wave of nostalgia overcame Jack and he swallowed thickly. He shook his head, feeling his braid slap his sides. He couldn’t be distracted from his task. He had to save the one person who loved him, the only person who had never abandoned him. The only one not to look at him like the monster he truly was.

Jack wasn’t really paying attention to his surroundings when he was supposed to be looking for a place to bathe, but he didn’t really have half a mind to care. He didn’t know when or where he would find a suitable place in the ever-changing Abyss, as it had no set locations and everything was just randomly scattered throughout the dimensions. He could walk for a thousand miles and never find it, or it could be just up ahead. He could see a beautiful beach and run up to it, only to have it disappear right from under his feet leaving him with only hollow disappointment. The Abyss was fickle like that. And Jack wasn’t on particularly good terms with who held power over it, so he didn’t bother to rush.

Jack felt something brush against his neck, soft and airy like smoke, and he swatted it away. He inwardly groaned at the thought of Abyss-style bugs but put the thought aside. He had more important things to worry about.

_Like saving Lacie?_

Jack spun around.

He was alone.

_You know you can’t do it._

Jack wondered where the voice was coming from, because when he found whoever it belonged to, he was going to blast them to smithereens.

_She won’t love you._

“What did you say?!” Jack roared.

_You know as well as I do that she won’t love you when she finds out what you did._

Jack gritted his teeth and seethed with rage, but he felt a gnawing sensation deep in his gut. He had been trying not to think about what would happen when he found Lacie again, he had just been hoping they could go back to how they were before everything went so terribly wrong. He hadn’t wanted to think of the possible repercussions of his actions in Sablier, yet this journey had proven to be nothing but remnants of the Tragedy.

The disembodied voice was laughing at him.

“Are you mocking me?! Show yourself, coward!” Jack yelled with increasing hysteria. He felt the red hot burning glow of B-Rabbits power in his fists, but he had no target to shoot at.

_You’re calling_ me _the coward?_

The voice chortled.

_You know she won’t forgive you. You’ve destroyed everything she’s ever loved._

“She loves ME!” Jack shouted.

Jack was breathing heavily and it felt like his heart was nearly going to explode out of his chest. He was overcome with rage and, he was reluctant to admit, fear. He had nothing left to lose but Lacie, and her not loving him was his greatest fear. He pushed the thought aside. Jack didn’t want to admit it to himself and didn’t want to acknowledge even the possibility that it might be true. That he would lose Lacie again. That she would abandon him…and he would be truly alone.

B-Rabbits power fizzled out in his palms and Jack wrapped his arms around himself, trying to still the terrified shaking feeling within him.

_You killed Alice. Her daughter. You slaughtered Oswald, her beloved brother._

“SHUT UP!” Jack screamed.

_You selfish bastard. How could anyone ever love a monster like you?_

Jack didn’t even respond this time. He splayed his fingers on his head and bent over, trying to get this voice, _these thoughts,_ out of his head.

_No one will ever love you. You destroyed that chance a long time ago._

Jack dug his fingers into his golden hair and pulled.

_Your fate was set when you destroyed Sablier. Your fate was set when you were born a bastard._

“STOP IT!” Jack roared.

His shoulders curled over his chest as he hunched himself over, trying to be as small as possible. He pulled roughly at his hair and hoped the jarring pain would tear out the thoughts from his mind. His vision swam and blurred, like he was viewing the world from underwater. He felt like he was underwater; like he was screaming and trying to breathe, although no one was there to hear him or see him getting pulled under the waves and into the darkness.

Jack couldn’t tell if he was screaming or not.

“Just…leave me,” he pleaded desperately with the voice.

The voice laughed maniacally, and the sickest part was, Jack recognized that laugh.

It was his.

_Leave you? Oh Jack…_

_I_ am _you._

 


	11. Blood on Your Hands

Jack didn’t really know what happened after that, he just felt himself running. His scalp stung from where he had pulled at his hair, but that was hardly noticeable in comparison to what he felt inside his head. It was a strange feeling, where he was thinking everything all at once, yet nothing at all. All of his malformed thoughts buzzed through his mind at a million miles an hour, so fast that he couldn’t tell what any of them meant. All Jack knew was that it bloody _hurt_ , and he needed to get away from that place as fast as he could. So he ran.

And he did not stop, even when the ground did.

It took a moment for the wetness to register with Jack, but he did eventually realize that he had run straight into a lagoon. The water soaked through his clothes and his boots, and the fabric stuck to his skin. He started to frantically splash water on himself, regardless of his attire. He just needed to get all the thoughts _out_. He needed to wash off everything he’d done, wished upon wished that he could wash away all his sins with this black lagoon water. It was impossible impossible _impossible_ —he knew. But he still tried anyway. He wasn’t really aware of anything he was doing. He felt his hands shaking, he felt his whole body shivering, and it wasn’t just from the biting cold of the water. Jack splashed water everywhere, soaking himself, in a doomed attempt to wash his entire existence away. He wished he could dissolve into the water and drift away like silt at the bottom. Briefly, he wondered about being reborn as a cattail or a water lily.

Jack laughed harshly and unevenly at the thought, but it was enough to bring him back to some form of lucidity. He yelled and pounded his fist onto the surface of the water, and felt the water droplets splash in his face.

He stared at the water until it settled and continued to gaze at his wavy reflection in the silver pool. Jack couldn’t believe what he was looking at. It almost didn’t seem real to him, his own reflection. He couldn’t recognize himself anymore. He looked terrible; sopping wet and his braid hung limply over his sagging shoulders, his golden hair seeming to have lost its shine. His clothes were ragged and torn, and stained with blood and dirt. In a past life, Jack would have never gone outside looking like this, but now he was beyond caring. There were scratches and bruises on his face from previous fights and the zombie attack, and his eyes were rimmed with red. Oh, his eyes. They frightened him, which was an odd thought considering they were _his_ eyes, but they were just so _hollow_. He didn’t remember when they had become like that; it had been a long time since he had dared to look in a mirror.

He gingerly reached a hand up to his face to feel his cheek, as if checking he really still existed, and wasn’t just some terrible illusion. He touched his skin, and watched his reflection in the water do the same. God, he looked so _tired_.

Jack found it increasingly hard to breathe.

He hit the water again, dissipating the horrid reflection, and he could feel the droplets of water trail down his face. He felt a scream tear at his throat, but he couldn’t hear anything.

Jack sighed dejectedly and stood in the water while he tried to calm himself down. He had to hurry up and get back to Ariella, although something told him she wasn’t even going to be there when he got back. Always off on one of her mysterious leavings whenever she thought he wouldn’t notice, but he did. Jack wondered if she was just going to disappear one day and never come back, which seemed like a likely option since she had been disappearing more often and for longer each time. Jack winced and clutched tightly to his bowed shoulders. Even the mysterious girl of the Abyss was going to abandon him.

Jack tried not to think of this while he washed up. He tried not to think about the way his hands shook as he tried to undo his braid. He tried not to think about fumbling and cursing and pulling his hair and feeling it rip and feeling it sting and feeling his heart pound in his chest and wanting to scream but not having the energy to do so.

He didn’t bother taking his clothes off, he was too tired to care and everything was soaked already anyway. He just cupped water in his hands and poured it on his arms, on his shoulders. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes, feeling the water fall on his skin and wash over him. It seemed thicker than it had been, and warmer, but Jack was too distracted by everything else to really care to wonder why. It was probably just the usual strange consistency of Abyss water anyway; when was anything ever as it should be in this dreadful world?

Jack continued to pour water over his face, and over his aching scalp, and he ran his fingers through his wet, wavy hair. He breathed in deeply, and splashed his face with water. Its warmth felt soothing on his skin, no longer a biting cold but a comforting warmth. He needed that right now.

He cupped his hands and poured the water over his face again, savoring the feeling of it running down his skin. It was a slow moment since the water was thicker, and it helped to relieve some of his built up tension. Jack wrapped his arms around himself and then dropped them into the water, feeling his fingers splash into the balmy lagoon. He finally felt ready to face whatever else the Abyss could throw at him. Or at least, as ready as he could be, since he felt that he would shatter like glass at any given moment. But he could do this. He had to. For Lacie. Jack took a deep breath and opened his eyes, then looked down at the water.

Except it wasn’t water.

At first Jack couldn’t believe what he was seeing. It looked almost like water, except it was glossy and red. It was such a deep crimson that Jack couldn’t see his feet, and he was only submerged up to the waist. It diffused into the clear water, which could still be seen at the far edges of the lagoon near the shore. It didn’t process to Jack at first what he was standing in; the warm comforting water was not what he had thought it was, not that soothing calm he needed so much.

It was blood.

And he was soaked with it.

Jack opened his mouth but he didn’t scream. Or maybe he did, but he heard no sound except the rushing of his own blood in his ears. He saw his long golden hair fall in red gloppy clumps into the pool of blood and drip crimson jewels. His clothes were soaked and heavy, trying to pull him down into the blood and drown him in his corruption. He didn’t dare look at his hands.

_Too afraid._

Jack couldn’t move. He was paralyzed, eyes fixed on the glossy red blood sloshing all around him in every direction. He wanted to run, he had to get away from this horrible place, but his feet were stuck where they were. He couldn’t tell his body to move; he was _too afraid_. Everything about him was consumed in that carmine liquid and he couldn’t do anything but stand there and quiver.

He saw something large and round rise to the surface of the blood lagoon. At first Jack couldn’t tell what it was, but as it floated upwards, he saw it.

It was a human head.

It appeared to have once belonged to a female; with long, stringy black hair that stuck to its gaunt cheeks and trailed crimson down blueish tinted skin. Its mouth was open and its eyes were wide and bloodshot, dripping blood like tears.

Jack gasped for air as he saw another two heads, a male and a female, come up to the surface. They bobbed up and down on the bloody water, gaping at him with their open mouths and wide, _accusing_ eyes. Jacks heartbeat thrashed in his ears. Another head popped up on his left. He felt the water ripple as a head appeared behind him. They just kept coming and Jack didn’t even know where they were from, or why they were here. He wanted to run, but he was frozen in terror.

More and more heads rose to the surface, bobbing up and down on the blood-water. Their necks were obscured by the crimson liquid but Jack could tell they were mangled and shredded. He felt like he was going to be sick. He felt petrified as the sickly warm blood sloshed all around him and rippled whenever a new head appeared. One of them appeared right in front of him, facing the other way. It floated on the surface for a moment, then began to flip. It was slow and gruesome, the stringy hair floating outwards like tendrils of liquid darkness in contrast with the deep red. The head flipped over and stared at Jack with its wide, bloodshot eyes. One thing that was different was that its mouth was closed, and Jack would have considered this a good thing if he hadn’t been so suspicious already.

“You have blood on your hands, Jack,” the head spoke in a gravelly whisper.

The strangeness of having a decapitated head speak to him didn’t even register with Jack. He just gaped at the head for a moment, unable to process what he had just heard. When the words finally sunk into his brain, he mechanically looked down at his hands. He held them flat with his palms outstretched and stared, then slowly flipped them over. They were stained red and dripped blood, and each drop making a small _plip_ when it landed in the pond. A quiet noise that was usually overlooked, but sounded deafening in Jack’s ears.

Red filled his vision.

It wasn’t the red that concerned him. He saw everything in shades of red when he was outraged, but this time it was different. Jack’s heart was pierced with such a fear that he felt as if someone had driven a spear through it. He couldn’t move and felt disconnected from reality, as if his mind was traveling a million miles an hour and leaving his body behind in that dreadful pond.

Back when he was young and foolish, he had felt so desperate and lost that he knew he was falling into darkness. Then there was a light, so brief but beautiful and shining. Lacie came and saved him from the darkness. When Lacie died, Jack found that no matter how far he fell, there was always further to go. He found himself shaking. Whole body shivering, lips trembling, unrestrained. He didn’t even try to stop it, _couldn’t_ stop it; couldn’t move, couldn’t stop moving. He couldn’t tear his gaze away from those hands.

_His_ hands.

Hands that killed his friends, destroyed the city, destroyed _everything_. Jack couldn’t breathe. He heard a terrible rush, like water running in his ears and it drowned out everything around him. He could feel this darkness, it was not solely his own anymore. He had thrust others into it as well when he plunged Sablier into the Abyss. He was responsible for this, he was guilty of everything, every sin, every lie, every death. He was guilty and he had never been so afraid.

A sob tore from his throat which broke him out of his trance. Jack looked around wildly, at the blood sloshing in waves as the heads bobbed up and down— _they were all looking at him_ —and then down at his hands again.

_You have blood on your hands, Jack._

The words resounded in his mind, echoing, and it felt like a physical blow each time Jack heard them. He was overcome with the urge to run. He bolted from the lake, sloshing through the blood in an attempt to get to the shore as fast as possible, and tripping over a head in the process. Jack tumbled down into the blood and felt its sickly smoothness engulf him, and for a moment he was paralyzed in darkness. Self-preservation took over and he jumped up and continued to run ungracefully towards the shore.

He didn’t look back as he ran, and he didn’t even really look forward either. He didn’t know where he was going, what direction he was heading in, he just felt his feet hit the Abyss floor and then the air. He just needed to get the blood _off_. He didn’t care how.

Over the din of his thoughts, he could hear laughing. That same damn laughter again, it was _his_.

And it terrified him.

Jack lurched forward and almost fell, grabbing his head with both hands.

“Stop it!” he roared, barely noticing how raw it sounded.

Jack could see the monster in his mind grinning maliciously. Its bright yellow eyes were wide and glaring and filled with a cruel hilarity. Jack screamed again for it to stop, but the laughter intensified. Jack couldn’t bear it, that awful, grating sound, full of death and blood and evil that only the most corrupt souls were able to produce. It was all he heard, and it was so loud so loud _so loud_.

He questioned if he was going crazy, only to receive a whisper in his ear.

_You already are._

“I’m sorry!”

Jack collapsed to his knees. He couldn’t run anymore. He was breathing heavily and his heart pounded but he didn’t even notice. He held up his hands and looked at them. They were just as covered in blood as the rest of him was, but against all sense, Jack tried to scrub the blood off. It was all he knew in that moment, only blood, only the desperation of trying to wash away his sins, and the despair that followed when he could not. He scrubbed harder.

_It’s not working,_ the voice chortled.

Jack gritted his teeth and tried harder.

_Do you really think it would be that easy, Jack?_

Jack continued to scrub his hands, which were raw and sore by now. He took no notice.

_What has been done cannot be undone; there is no redemption for a being such as yourself._

The blood wasn’t coming off, and Jack panicked. It seemed that the more he scrubbed off, the more appeared on his hands.

_YOU CAN’T DO IT,_ the voice snapped.

Jack let out a strangled cry and choked on his own voice. He tried to lift his head to look around for the source of the voice but he knew he wouldn’t be able to find it. There was nothing there except him and the quiet sloshing of the Abyss floor that suddenly seemed so nauseating.

_You have blood on your hands, Jack._ The voice copied the words of the head in the pond with a lilting tone and then laughed loudly and insanely.

Jack screamed.

He felt arms wrap around his back and he lurched, thinking it was the darkness that had come to claim him. He scrubbed furiously at his hands, not bothering to shake off the darkness that grabbed him, when it spoke.

“Jack, Jack, it’s me.”

It was a female voice, one that Jack vaguely recognized, but it sounded distant in his ears. _…Lacie?_   Oh how he missed her. He tried to hold onto that sound and the memory that came with it, but it slipped through his grasp and he fell once more into darkness. He continued scrubbing his hands, now scratching them in a last ditch attempt to clear away the blood, ignoring the pain.

“Jack,” the female voice said. Jack liked the sound of her voice, it was comforting. _So familiar_ … he thought. _…liz?_

He felt himself be pulled away from his kneeling position, but he couldn’t clearly see what was in front of him. Blood dripped into his eyes, blurring his vision and covering everything in a sheen of red.

“Jack, look at me,” the voice said, insistent.

Jack looked down at his hands, which were still dripping with blood.

“Jack!”

Jack could only try again to frantically scrub away the blood. That was all there was, until he felt a sharp pain in his cheek and his head snapped to the side. Someone just slapped him, Jack realized.

That someone grabbed Jack’s face in her hands and forced him to look at her. Jack’s unfocused eyes slowly sharpened with focus as he came back to reality, and a look of recognition crossed his face.

“Ariella!” Jack croaked, surprised at the weakness of his voice.

Ariella pulled him into an embrace and he trembled in her arms. He tried to stop it and hold on to what little dignity he might have left, but it just felt good to be held by someone.

Jack closed his eyes, and they remained like that until he had calmed down. They unwrapped from their hug and Ariella looked at him worriedly. Jack tried to smile to calm her down but he winced instead. Ariella put her hand on his. Jack immediately drew his hand back as if her touch had burned him, and hurt momentarily flashed in her eyes. Jack didn’t want her to see his grotesquely bloodied hands, he couldn’t bear the look of horror he would surely see on her face. Shame rose hot in his throat. He couldn’t believe Ariella would even be near him with this much gore—Jack looked down at his hands.

There was no blood, save for the scratches he made himself.

Jack opened and closed his mouth in confusion and furrowed his brows.  Had Ariella done this? He was _clean_ , where moments ago he had been painted in crimson.

“ar—“ he started, but the sound was choked and short.

Ariella silently shook her head to indicate that his sudden cleanliness was not her doing.

Jack looked down at himself again in disbelief. Had it all been an illusion?

Ariella put her hand gently on Jack’s arm and he looked back up at her. Jack wanted to say something—anything—that would explain to her why he was like this, or maybe he would try to deny it and keep moving, try to put his fractured mask back on. He found he couldn’t, and all his carefully planned words died on his tongue. He was going to give her a bright and shining _fake_ smile and go back to his usual cheerful demeanor that everybody seemed to love so much, and he was going to put on his mask and hide how utterly terrified he was. He had done this many times.

So why couldn’t he do it now?

Jack hadn’t realized he had been gaping until Ariella lightly shook him, her hand still on his arm. He quickly snapped back to reality and tried to get ahold of the situation, but he avoided looking Ariella in the eyes. He couldn’t understand why it was getting increasingly more difficult to breathe when Ariella put her hand on his surprisingly dry hair and forced him to look at her.

“I know, Jack. I know,” she said breathlessly.

Jack took a deep breath. It seemed as if her words allowed his lungs to fill with air, where they were previously unable to. Ariella looked at him with such knowing eyes, it surprised him, like she could all the darkness that lie beneath his mask of sunlight. Few people had ever been able to do that, and those who accepted him afterwards were fewer still.

_God, her eyes…_ Jack thought. He hadn’t seen eyes like that since…

… _you have stars in your eyes and galaxies in your hair_ …

_No,_ Jack brushed that thought away. Those days were gone.

Jack couldn’t look at Ariella as he shrugged her hand off his arm. He cleared his throat and tried to stand up to the best of his ability, but he still wobbled a bit before regaining his balance. He knew his hands still trembled and he shoved them in his pockets, but at least the worst of it was over.

He hoped.

He didn’t look at Ariella as she stood up and got in stride beside him. Their pace was slow; Jack knew Ariella could go faster as he had seen her bounding before him with skips and hops, but it seemed her excitement was dulled after what had just happened.

Ariella stole a few secretive glances at Jack, trying to be nonchalant and hoping he didn’t notice. He was clearly still distraught after what had happened— _what_ had _happened_?—and she had to give it to him for even still being able to walk. He was trying to make it look like he was okay, which they both knew was a lie but they both went along with it anyway.

Although Ariella couldn’t help but wonder about it, that thing she saw. She had wandered off in search of Jack after he hadn’t come back, and she found him crouched on the ground and clawing wildly at his hands. That wasn’t even the strangest part, the thing that really worried her was the black smoke encircling him. It whipped around like it was alive and seeped over Jacks collapsed form like some living ooze.

Ariella hadn’t ever seen it before and thought it might be some part of the _Ciasstolas_ ploy they hadn’t mentioned, but she hadn’t really been too concerned then where it came from. She just ran up and threw her arms around Jack—black smoke and all—and it seemed to disperse into thin air. Now, with the urgency of the moment gone, all kinds of worries filled her head. Where had it come from, if not from the _Ciasstolas_? And why couldn’t Jack seem to see it? Ariella figured she would keep this to herself until she could figure out what it was, it was no use worrying Jack over it.

Jack had shown her the ugliness of his soul, the parts he hid underneath that false light. It then occurred to him that that is what he had been doing all along. He had never tried to be that sunny fool, and yet Ariella had accepted him as he was. He had to appreciate her for that. Jack glanced down at her for the first time since they had started their trek; she was looking in the other direction off in the distance and didn’t notice him.

“You’re a very strange girl, you know that?” Jack said curiously. 

Ariella turned to look at him and smiled. “I’ve been told that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of angsty angst but I promise, things will turn up soon...ish. And did I make this a bit too overly emotional? maybe a little bit. Am I sorry? no, because it's Jack and he has no chill


	12. Trust

 

One thing was different though. Jack couldn’t feel that same coldness he felt when the other voices were speaking. He couldn’t hear these voices very well but he could make out that their tones were those of humans. Everything still sounded like it was coming from underwater. Jack tried opening his eyes and it looked as if he actually _was_ underwater. Everything was so blurry and disorienting. He tried to move his laden arms to rub the sleep out of his eyes but he was met by a throbbing headache. His whole body ached and he was so exhausted; he let out a deep breath and let his head fall back onto the floor.

“He’s awake,” a voice said.

“What do we do?”

Jack heard footsteps getting louder, presumably closer. He opened his eyes to see a blurry white blob towering over him. Jack’s vision gradually cleared enough for him to see that it was a man in a hooded white robe, with a mask covering his face. Jack could hardly see the man’s eyes but they seemed eerily dark and gleaming.

Jack grinned tiredly. “May I help you?” he asked sarcastically.

The figure abruptly kicked Jack in the ribs.

Jack groaned in pain and rolled onto his good side while clutching his chest. He could hear a woman snickering behind him and the footsteps leading away from him.

“You weren’t supposed to do anything with him until Mattrich got here,” the woman said, but it didn’t sound at all like a scolding. She sounded more amused, if anything.

“She won’t mind,” the man who had kicked him said. He sounded quite pleased with himself.

Jack flipped over and looked around, trying to discern his location. More masked figures dressed in white stood a considerable distance from him, all donning white masks. Jack could tell they were all staring at him. One tilted its head to the side as it walked past the others, never taking its gaze off of Jack. They didn’t seem afraid of him, more intrigued. Excited, even. Which was strange after such a long time being feared by weakling chains. Wherever Jack went, chains and human souls alike screamed in terror and ran in the other direction when he was near. Wherever Jack was now, it definitely wasn’t good, considering these people had the audacity to even come near him, let alone to hurt him and then brazenly snicker about it. Jack spotted the man who had kicked him standing next to a woman perched on a branch of a spindly, black tree that nearly jutted into a white gazebo.

Jack pushed himself up with some difficulty, his arms quivering with effort and exhaustion. He didn’t know how long he had been asleep, but it clearly wasn’t enough. And he hadn’t woken up in the same place he’d fallen asleep, after him and Ariella had found some furniture scattered through the atmosphere. Jack wondered if these people had kidnapped Ariella too. He didn’t see her around.

He looked down at his hands and tried to summon B-Rabbit, but the red light wouldn’t show no matter what he did. Jack groaned low in his throat and cursed loudly. He must’ve been too exhausted from his ordeal to do anything even remotely helpful. He snapped his head towards the group of figures and glared at them intensely. None of them moved.

“Where have you taken me?” Jack said and stuck out his jaw aggressively.

“To your redemption, Jack. We’re here to help you,” a woman said from behind him.

“ _Redemption_ ,” Jack laughed darkly, “like hell you are.”

He turned his head around to see a tall woman in a long black dress walking towards him. Jack could hear the _swish swish_ of it trailing behind her as she glided gracefully toward him. The woman stood in front of Jack, who was still sitting on the ground, and she looked down at him and smiled.

“Of course we are, darling. _Trust me_.” She said and held out her hand to Jack.

Jack narrowed his eyes in suspicion at her black-gloved hand and stood up by himself. His tired muscles protested, but he ignored it, refusing to take his eyes away from the black irises of the woman standing before him. The upper part of her face was hidden by a black feathered mask, but Jack could see enough of her expression to know what she was feeling. He was a master at reading expressions. The woman tried to feign a mask of indifference but the slightly curled corners of her lips and dark gleam in her eyes gave her away. She looked _excited_.

She lowered her hand and brought it to her face, tenderly ghosting over her rouged lips as she said in a breathy whisper, “I’ve waited so long to meet you, Jack.”

A slightly off-kilter smile crept onto her face and Jack had to suppress a shudder.

“Lovely to meet you too, madam,” Jack said in a faux cordial tone, “now would you be so kind as to tell me who you are?” he would’ve gone for another one of his winning smiles, but he didn’t have the energy to care and something told him it wouldn’t work on these people anyway.

The woman tore her gaze away from Jack and walked in a slow circle around him. Jack followed her movements and saw she was only half looking at him. She didn’t meet his eyes but looked skyward, then at the figures in white. She made some non-committal hand gesture in the air and sighed slightly.

“My name is Mattrich, I’m one of the many victims of the tragedy of Sablier, just like the others here,” she said, sounding uninterested. Jack caught her glancing at him and he saw the fury in her eyes as she spoke. She immediately looked away.

Jack pressed his lips together in a fine line. “Ah.”

A beat.

“Are you here for revenge?” Jack asked.

He could only assume that was the only logical explanation for why he was taken here. If he had learned anything from the other ‘people’ he had encountered on his journey, it was that they were either terrified or angry. And Mattrich didn’t seem the least bit afraid.

Jack stretched out his arms and bared his chest. “Go on then, get on with it,” he said in a bored voice.

Mattrich smiled widely. “Oh dear, we’ve already begun.”

Jack looked at her and raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“We’ve been taking our revenge for a long time now,” Mattrich laughed, “don’t you know?” she said as if it was obvious.

“The tunnel, the graveyard, the bridge…all the trials you’ve gone through, _that_ is our revenge.”

Something snapped inside Jack.

_Their fault._

He didn’t even realize he was lunging at Mattrich until he felt her skin under his hands, or her blood under his nails. He clawed wildly at her face, with no real plan or strategy, just hot, coursing rage. He couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t do anything other than give in to the irresistible urge to scratch her eyes out with his bare hands. She whimpered and feebly batted his hands away but he couldn’t stop couldn’t stop—he didn’t want to stop. Why should he? _Their fault their fault it was their fault they did this to you kill her kill her kill her_ —Then, in the midst of his rage, something occurred to him.

“What have you done with Lacie?” Jack snarled.

A wide grin twisted Mattrich’s features and she took Jack’s momentary distraction to knee him in the groin. He grunted and fell to the side where Mattrich could overpower him and throw him off of her. She waved to her white-clad comrades and they ran up and grabbed Jack’s arms and held him back before he could lunge again. He struggled against them, cursing furiously, but they held him tightly and pushed on his shoulders so he was forced to the ground.

“Where have you taken her?” Jack shouted hoarsely.

Mattrich smirked at him and waved her hand in front of her face, instantly healing the scratches with the powers granted to her by the Will of the Abyss.

“How noble,” Mattrich chortled, “the _hero_ is going to rescue his pretty little princess.”

Jack tried to tear his shoulders from the _Ciasstolas’_ grip, but they kicked his back, making him fall further to the ground. His chin hit the floor and he snarled, but didn’t register the pain through his ire. He slowly sat up under the guards grip and at Mattrich.

“How could you do this?” he said.

“How could you destroy Sablier!?” Mattrich screeched. Her face twisted in anger and she lunged at him. Jack felt a sharp pain in his cheek and his head snapped to the side.

This had happened many times.

“You doomed us all to the Abyss!” Mattrich yelled at him, and Jack heard yells of agreement from the crowd of masked figures. He looked to them and saw them raising their fists in the air, their faces painted with rage and a thirst for vengeance. He heard them shout insults, calling him a monster and a bastard and a heartless, terrible fool. They said to kill him. They said he deserved it. And with a painful tug at his heart, Jack knew that he did.

He deserved all of it.

And all of a sudden, Jack couldn’t find it in himself to be angry anymore. These people who had caused him so much suffering, so much pain; they were the ones that were responsible for all those horrible events he had to go through. He hated them and everything they were, there was no doubt about that, but even with everything they did to him, Jack knew he deserved it. He couldn’t be mad at them for that, he had caused them too much suffering, and now they were stuck down here for all eternity and would be turned into chains. He understood their ire; they were people once, with lives and homes and children and friends.

And he destroyed all of it.

Jack breathed in deeply and looked at the ground, still under the hold of the guards. He didn’t struggle anymore, he didn’t seem to have any energy left to try. His shoulders just felt so _heavy_. His whole body slumped, and he felt drained of all life as the crowd continued to yell curses and pelted him with pebbles and charcoal. His vision blurred and he blinked rapidly, trying to clear it away. He was practically on the verge of hyperventilating and everything was so loud and the floor was so nauseatingly colorful that it made him sick and he didn’t want to look at it anymore, but he didn’t want to look at the people. Anything to keep from seeing their eyes and their anger.

 He slowly lifted his head to the angered mob and saw them shouting and rioting, picking things up from their fires and chucking them at him, waving their torches and fists, screaming for him to burn. All except one, who stood quietly amongst the chaos, unmoving. It was the smallest one that Jack had seen before, who couldn’t have been more than the age of a child. When he looked at her she quickly averted her gaze and hid her face beneath the shade of her hood. Jack narrowed his eyes.

Jack’s gaze snapped to Mattrich when she called out for the _Ciasstolas_ to stop, raising her hands in the air. She created a strong wind and her black dress rippled around her like darkened smoke. Light shone from behind her, illuminating her in a silhouette of darkness and making the white of the _Ciasstolas’_ robes glow. The _magistarѐ_ beckoned a Ciasstolas to her and whispered something in his ear, and he motioned to the others. Jack saw the white figures form a circle around him, with Mattrich in the center next to him, smiling devilishly. The short figure from earlier walked directly in front of the others, making sure to be as far from Jack as possible, and she avoided looking at him, keeping her gaze to the floor. Jack understood why a child might be afraid of him, but he still felt that she shouldn’t be among these people who were so wrought with violence and rage.

As the small Ciasstolas stepped into her place, she lifted her gaze to him, and her brown eyes looked upon him with sadness and regret.

Jack gasped and his hand went slowly to cover his mouth. The pain of betrayal stung deeply and he felt as if someone had punched him in the gut.

_It couldn’t be…_

 “Ariella…?” Jack said, but the sound was quiet and broken.

She turned her head away and looked to the ground, and Mattrich walked in front of Jack, blocking his view of her. She said something to the guards and they released Jack’s shoulders, but he barely even noticed and remained slumped on the ground, gaze un-focusing.

Ariella was a part of all this. He knew, _he knew_ there was something not right about her. _Of course_ she was in on this! No one ever helped him without having some ulterior motive at hand. Oh, how could he have been so stupid? He _trusted_ her. Against all his better judgement, he just wanted to believe that someone, _anyone_ would be willing to just not stab him in the back. He really was foolish. After all those years playing a part in the stupid noble’s game, he thought he knew how this kind of thing worked. _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ He knew this was going to happen eventually. Jack continued mentally berating himself and something broke apart within him. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. Ariella had known what was happening to him, and worse still, she played a part in orchestrating all that torment.

_She knew._

She led him through every goddamn trap, _and he fell for it._

He knew when he met her that she was up to no good. Who was he but an angry maniac that had just destroyed an entire city, and there she was, giving him all that he asked for and wanting nothing in return. That didn’t just happen. He knew at the start not to trust her. His mind kept saying _I told you so_ , because he did. At the beginning of this, he knew she would only lead to trouble and he had trusted her anyway, he had _cared_ about her. She reminded him of Alice, and those simpler times when all he had to think about were Alice’s tea parties and scaling the side of her tower. He had even been _foolish_ enough to think she had cared about him as well.

_You fool, nobody would ever care for you._

A scream tore through Jack’s throat and he pounded his fist hard on the ground. Breathing heavily, He looked up at Mattrich, who had a satisfied smirk on her porcelain face. She gestured to Ariella without taking her eyes off of Jack’s slumped form.

“I see you’ve found our dear, sweet _Ariella_ ,” Mattrich said, and threw her head back in malevolent laughter.

Jack clenched his teeth.

“Come forth dear,” Mattrich looked at Ariella and then back at Jack, “don’t you want to welcome your friend?”

Ariella stepped out of the organized ring of _Ciasstolas_ and stood next to the _Magjistarѐ_. She lifted her head and looked at Jack, shame evident in her eyes.

“Jack…”

“You liar!” Jack shouted at her, and she flinched.

“I tried to help you,” she pleaded feebly.

“You did this to me!”

Mattrich laughed gleefully at their spat and said, “ah, what a lovely reunion.”

Jack glared at her for a moment, then directed his anger back to Ariella, who looked to be on the verge of tears.

“Ariella here was the one designated to the task of leading you to each trial. Without her, you would have never been able to do all those beautiful little adventures,” Mattrich said and clapped her hands together, “oh, weren’t they just _delightful_!”

“Delightful for us to watch, anyway,” she giggled.

Jack looked away from her and back at Ariella. “How could you do this?” he tried to project his anger into his voice, but it came across weary and defeated.

Ariella’s teary eyes softened. “I had no other choice.”

 Jack looked at her for a long while; there was so much he wanted to say, but he couldn’t. Not now.

Mattrich finally broke the silence. “Oh, but the surprises don’t stop there!” she giggled and twisted her hands in the air extravagantly. She turned her head to Ariella and jerked her head to the left, and Ariella turned away from Jack. The circle parted for her as she left, then it closed, and Jack was alone.

He was always left alone in the end.

He was a fool for thinking that it could be different this time, or the last time, or the time before that. It seemed there were only ever two options for Jack, those who were either indifferent or hated him, and those that actually cared for a passing moment before leaving him to the darkness once more. He didn’t understand. He tried so hard, he fit every persona anyone had ever asked of him, being as cheerful as the sun, as conniving as a thief, or a beautiful, seductive _fool_. He wore so many faces that he didn’t know which one was his to begin with. He didn’t know who he was, and it terrified him. And it still wasn’t enough for them.

And then there was Lacie. She was the shining light that saved his life on that cold snowy afternoon. She had loved him for all that he was, and he had willingly offered her every flawed fiber of his ragged soul…and he had been happy. Then, she left to left him to suffer in the darkness. She was taken from him.

And he would get her back.

He could still see Lacie’s blood red eyes that were so full of love; for the world, and for him. He imagined her beautiful smile, so mysterious and illustrious, yet so very, very _real_. Jack sighed. He missed her so much, and he wanted nothing more for these endless tasks to end so he could just hold her in his arms.

Jack was too lost in his daydreams about reuniting with Lacie that he missed Mattrich motioning to the _Ciasstolas_. Jack was finally drawn back to reality when they all started to clear out and go back to their little gazebo hide-away. He looked suspiciously up at the _Magjistarѐ_ , who extended her hand to him. Jack sneered at her offer and stood up on his own. Mattrich motioned for him to follow her.

“Why the bloody hell would I follow you?” Jack snapped.

“You do want to see Lacie again, don’t you?” Mattrich said.

Jack lunged at her again, but she held up a hand, her magic keeping him back.

“What have you done with Lacie!” he shouted.

A corner of Mattrich’s mouth twisted upward. “Follow me,” she said with a lilting tone.

She led Jack into a large room with no ceiling, and the only thing adorning the space was a set of overly large stone double doors, flanked on both sides by dramatic Greek marble pillars.

And a woman.

Jack gasped in shock and his heart dropped to his stomach. He felt his entire body go rigid and he was too frozen in place to notice Mattrich slip away. He couldn’t believe it. She was really here, standing in front of him. He hadn’t seen her in so long, not since his court days. After she left, he never heard from her again.

She still looked the same as she did the last time Jack saw her. She still looked to be in her mid-twenties, she had been 25 the last time Jack saw her, and she looked just like the girl he once knew. Wearing a long lavender dress, and her immaculately curled brown hair draped over her bare shoulders. And she was smiling at him.

“…Elizabeth?”

She said nothing as she walked up to Jack and cupped her hands around his cheeks, bringing her face closer and pressing her lips to his.

“Hello Jack, I’ve missed you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I know I listed this as Jack/Lacie and it is, Jack has only ever had eyes for Lacie...who, by the way, will be appearing very shortly, but I had to do something plot-twisty with dear Ariella ;)


	13. Elizabeth

Jack was flooded with the vivid memories of the night he stood alone at the midsummer ball. It was unusual for him to be by himself considering he was always trying to charm everyone to his will. He kept up the sunshine smile and happy façade for appearances sake, as he needed to appear to these people with a good personality to go along with the already handsome face. It wasn’t hard to make them bend to his wishes. He did it on a daily basis. He could so much as wink and women would be throwing themselves at him, and he was always the first choice for doing the noblemen’s dirty work.

All for Lacie.

Lacie was his everything, and if society didn’t permit him to see her then he would do everything in his power to make sure they did. It been two years since he had seen her, and two years since he had claimed his birthright and become a noble of the Vessalius household. His family was a third rate noble house, and the Baskerville’s were practically legendary, so him and Lacie had come from completely different worlds according to societies standards. Jack found the nobility he met to be asinine fools, and court life was triflingly dull and overcomplicated. The rules were pitifully stupid, and the petty gossip was even worse, but Jack played along with it. At the cost of his sanity, quite literally, he had scratched his way up the social ladder with a smile on his face.

All for Lacie.

Jack soon found out that it was near impossible to improve one’s social standing from where they were born into, especially in his case. Born a bastard to a peasant woman and a third rate noble and raised in the slums wasn’t exactly the best birthright a person could have in a situation like this. Jack internally snorted at the understatement. He couldn’t think of a worse one. A bastard noble was fantastic for the local smear campaigns that went absolutely _nowhere_. He didn’t even know how the information spread so quickly; it was supposed to be confidential within the family. He was mocked constantly, of course never to his face, but he heard the whispers. People weren’t as discreet as they thought they were—that, or they just didn’t care.

“What’s that _bastard_ doing here?”

“I heard he was raised by a whore!”

He heard them tittering not-so-quietly to themselves behind their pointless paper fans they never needed. Incessant, the lot of them. Always like this wherever he went, it never _stopped_. Of course, when they were in need they always came to him for help, but afterwards they would turn their backs on him once again and the whole process would begin again. Jack felt his jaw tightening and he forcibly relaxed it. No place for anger and resentment. He needed to make sure he always looked like living sunshine.

That was how he stopped the whispers. He began to cheat his way up the social ladder, because if they were all greedy and selfish and manipulative, then he could be too. He wasn’t above stooping to their level, and eventually lowering himself even further. They liked having someone to trample on. Jack didn’t mind it, he told himself, because he had no pride left. He didn’t need such frivolities when Lacie was so close to him, yet so terribly out of reach. He needed to see her again, she was his everything, his whole reason for existing, for living. He needed her like he needed air, no, he needed her more. He would do anything to see her again, he didn’t care what, just that it would bring him closer to her.

So he put on a mask, a lovable _manipulative_ mask, to get the nobles to bend to his will. He would do their dirty work in exchange for money and social status. He would do anything they asked of him, whether it be to steal, lie, cheat, even kill. He hadn’t yet had many assassination jobs, as he liked to call them, where a high powered nobleman would ask him to take out another if he was in a feud with them, or stood to gain from their death. These kinds of jobs didn’t bother Jack since he was paid handsomely, and the nobleman would pull some strings in getting Jack’s rank up quite a bit. There was talk of him, finally in a positive light, which did wonders with the tight-knit gossip circles. It was a good thing.

The jobs usually consisted of Jack sneaking in, slitting the victim’s throat in their sleep, and he’d be done. Nothing elaborate, just get in and get the job done and don’t let it be traced back to him. It was especially helpful if he did it before the victim realized what was happening—Jack hated the look in their eyes as their lifeblood poured out through their throats and they tried desperately to cry for help, to say something, but all they could do was choke on their own blood and fall back against the ruined sheets with a sickening thud. It always left a nasty feeling in his stomach— _not_ guilt—and he wouldn’t be able to sleep for a week afterwards. He would lie awake at night and stare at the ceiling, picturing their surprised and frightened eyes before they dulled and that _awful_ feeling of warm blood slicked over his hands. He hated that feeling.

It was definitely _not_ guilt _._

That was a feeling he had long since forsaken, even before meeting Lacie. What was there to be guilty about in a world as cruel as his? Was he guilty for stealing food from the merchants when he hadn’t eaten in three days? No. Was he guilty about learning to sneak into people’s homes and steal their valuables so he could pay for a winter coat so he wouldn’t freeze to death in the cold? No. He had learned as a child to get rid of these feelings if he wanted to survive, and this was only intensified when he joined court life. He had to get rid of all feeling to be able to survive in this new realm, and to make his way to Lacie. He didn’t feel guilty. He didn’t feel anything.

At least, that’s what he told himself at night when he woke up screaming.

Jack looked up from his glass of wine and saw two women gawking at him and whispering. As soon as he looked at them, they looked away bashfully and blushed, one girl continuing to whisper to the other. He recognized one of the girls. He didn’t know her name, which was normal, even though he spent the night with her not more than a week ago. Jack looked back down at his drink. He knew this process, and sighed quietly.

Another way Jack used to move himself up the social ladder was that he would sell himself to the court women.  He got far more of these requests than any others, as both Jack and the noblewomen knew he was one of the most gorgeous people in the society. Jack had to give his pseudo-father some credit. Thanks to him, he at least had one advantage in this place. Coupled with his masks, Jack was downright _breathtaking_.

At first Jack thought it would be fun, but it soon grew tiresome after a few weeks. They came at him relentlessly, even the married ones, _especially_ the married ones. They were tired and bored with their husbands and no longer cared for things once considered sacred as loyalty, and Jack would be the one they came to. He slipped on a charming mask for them, or a seductive one, which ever they pleased. He became whatever they wanted of him. The masks fit so nicely over his porcelain skin, his core personality was rendered null. Jack realized he didn’t even know what his real personality was anymore, and it frightened him more than anything else. He had worn so many masks that his original one was lost in the sea of lies and darkness. It was disgusting, he thought.

_He_ was disgusting.

He was a wretched being made of nothingness and had no purpose in life, no reason for existing; he could disappear off the face of the earth and no one would even notice, no one would care.

All except Lacie.

_How_ , he wondered, _how could she love a creature such as he?_ She was beauty itself, incarnated in a physical form of pure firelight, which shone through her eyes like a forest ablaze. He figured she was a forest fire in itself, something so destructive but so, _so_ beautiful yet only ever meant to be admired from afar. Jack wouldn’t dare get closer to her no matter how much he yearned for it. He had to remain at a distance lest he get burned. Although, that was only partially true. He didn’t care if she burned him, she could tear him to shreds and reduce him to nothing more than ash and he would still smile at her like the goddess she was. He belonged to her and she could do as she pleased, just like she did whenever she took the opportunity to sneak out from her tower. Jack couldn’t get too close for fear that he would offend her in some way, their relationship was tentative at best. It was such a fragile thing, Jack thought, that someone as pure as her would stoop so low as to loving a beast like himself. He couldn’t understand why she would, but Jack would do everything in his power to make sure that he pleased her enough so she wouldn’t abandon him like everyone else. He couldn’t bare it if she were to leave him, and the thought terrified him. He had no one else but her, his beautiful angel. Her hair was like silk, her laugh was pure joy and her soul was made up of love.

_Love_ , Jack smiled to himself, _for him_. It was not something he was used to, not something he had ever experienced.

Jack swirled his wine around in his glass, lost in his thoughts of returning to Lacie. He was only awakened back into reality when he heard some of the nearby noblewomen giggle. He looked up and saw the ones from before, the girl he had been with before nudged the other in his direction and whispered something to her. She walked slowly over to him, trying to put on an air of grace and sophistication, but she was trying too hard. She exaggeratedly swished her hips and it looked like she might topple over. She looked like a fool.

The woman passed closely by him, _too close,_ and slipped a small notecard in his jacket pocket. She turned her head to wink at him and walked away, without saying a single word. Jack noticed the other girl watching him and he nodded cordially at her before turning away. He could feel the card in his pocket burning his chest, and he swallowed thickly. He really didn’t want to do this again, but he internally chided himself for his selfishness.

This was all for Lacie.

So Jack grit his teeth while he walked but smiled seductively at the woman who gave him the card as he passed by her. She turned away and giggled into her handkerchief. _The bloody fool._  

Jack entered a group of high class noblemen and absently joined their conversation about politics he didn’t care about. It bored him a great deal, but he forced himself to act interested, and smiled when they commended him on his latest _achievement_ , as he had been hired by the fat one and gained him a large sum of money from the death of his competitor. Jack couldn’t really see it as that, all he could see were those bright scared eyes staring up at him in the dark in the seconds before they dulled into lifelessness. Jack was suddenly overcome with anger. He should make the noblemen do it themselves, see how they felt afterwards. See if they could throw away life so flippantly.

Although, Jack realized, he wasn’t any better than them.

In fact, he was probably a lot worse.

Jack smiled easily as the noblemen praised him and then went on with their conversation, no trace of Jack’s anger ever reaching the surface. He looked for all the world, like the sun. That’s what everyone said about him, always beautiful like the sun. One thing they didn’t realize was that while the sun could be beautiful, it could also be _destructive_.

Jack was dragged away from his ire when he noticed the noblemen stop talking for a second, and the noblewomen gasp. Jack looked to where everyone was staring and saw a woman, about twenty-five years of age, standing at the entrance. She wore a rich blue silk dress and hat, and her hair was done up by professionals, indicating that she was of high status. The nobles said that she was Elizabeth Matheres, daughter to the first rate Matheres family. Jack had heard of them briefly. They worked in trade exports of precious gems and metals, which made them exceedingly rich. The corner of Jack’s lips tipped upwards marginally. If Elizabeth was this high class then he could use her to his advantage.

_Not long now, Lacie, I’m so close_.

Jack waited until the initial hype was over and the excitement died down. Then he started over to go strike up a conversation with Elizabeth. She was talking with some noblewomen about the material of her dress when Jack confidently strode over and looked directly at her. Elizabeth let out a quiet gasp and an unreadable expression washed over her face, and Jack’s lips tilt further upwards. If she was audibly stunned by his beauty then this would be a lot easier than he thought it would. The other noblewomen submerged into the background, or into other groups of nobles, leaving Jack alone with Elizabeth. She already seemed speechless at the sight of him and was unable to take her eyes off of his, and Jack internally smirked at how easy this was going to be.

“Good evening, Lady Elizabeth,” Jack said, dipping into a practiced bow.

Elizabeth seemed to shake herself out of her trance, although she couldn’t seem to look away from his eyes. She smiled easily at him but it didn’t reach her eyes, and she still seemed unsettled underneath the polite cheer she expressed.

“Ah, sir Vessalius, I’ve heard much about you. Lovely to make your acquaintance,” Elizabeth said cordially.

Jack wanted to smirk. _So even the high classes have heard of me._ This _was_ going to be easy. He wished he had met this woman ages ago, it would have saved him a lot of trouble.

“Oh please, call me Jack,” he said and gave her one of his winning smiles.

Elizabeth paused for a split second as if surprised, but it was gone as soon as it came and she smiled at him again. “Alright, Jack.”

“Lady Elizabeth!” a nobleman called excitedly from across the room.

Jack clenched his teeth, he needed more time with Elizabeth if he was going to make this work. This was a big chance for him. If he got her on his side then it would surely advance him further, closer to Lacie. He needed to be high enough in the social system before being invited to the Baskerville mansion, where he would finally be able to see Lacie after all these years… Jack drew himself away from his thoughts and saw Elizabeth moving closer to him.

“You know where the Matheres mansion is,” she whispered as she brushed past him, “be there at midnight,” she smiled mysteriously before walking away.

Jack was stunned before he was excited. He didn’t think it would work that quickly, but he didn’t bother to question it. Now Elizabeth would praise him and get more of the whispers to stop, and with her power, Jack would hopefully raise to the top—or at least close enough to see Lacie.

 

Jack was led in through a servant’s back entrance when he arrived at the Matheres mansion. He had come through the backyard, hidden by the woods and away from prying eyes. He hated all the secrecy, but the nobles did love their privacy. And they couldn’t bear to be seen with him entering their home—as if he were some wretched thing that no one would be caught dead having over, and he felt like they sometimes treated him like an animal. A shamed beast who must only travel under the cover of night through the darkness.

Yet they all bragged, they all knew who had him, they all gossiped and laughed and joked, but still he was hidden whenever he entered. _There would be talk_ , they worried, _people gossiped_. Jack wanted to scream at them that nobody _cared_ , everybody did it. It didn’t matter who knew! They were all just going to blabber on about it anyway so what was the bloody point!

Jack almost laughed at the irony. He knew Elizabeth’s type, always so used to getting everything she wanted and taking it for granted. These vile women thought him a toy to be used and thrown away, and tonight would be no different.

Jack exited the dusty servant’s entrance and wished for the day he could freely enter the Baskerville manner through the front door as he should, under the gleam of daylight, and with Lacie by his side.

The ladies maid that had been sent to lead Jack to Elizabeth’s quarters silently led Jack down the dim hallway. “My lady is in there, sir,” she said meekly, not even looking him in the eyes.

Jack nodded his head in thanks and smiled brightly at her. “Thank you, miss,” he said and reached for the golden door handle.

He prepared his mask, schooling his features into something that would please Elizabeth, while inside his stomach roiled. He hated this part, it always made him feel dirty. They would drag their nails down his chest and claw at his body like he was nothing more than an object to be used. Like he wasn’t even alive. In the morning they would be gone, and Jack would be so terribly alone. He would look at himself in the mirror and see the fingerprints and scratches and be so overcome with self-loathing that he wanted to tear his hair out, tear this filthiness out.

Jack grinned and opened the door.

“Lady Elizabeth?”

He peered around the door to find Elizabeth sitting at her vanity mirror. She looked up when she saw him and smiled sadly, and Jack wondered why she wouldn’t be ecstatic. He briefly wondered if she had been pressured into this by her peers—noblewomen were vicious creatures, after all—and she was actually disgusted by the sight of him.

“Hello Jack,” she said as she stood.

Jack smiled charmingly at her and gave a slight bow. “Lady Elizabeth.”

Elizabeth’s lips parted slightly as she gazed at him, yet something seemed unusual.

“Is something the matter?” Jack asked, out of politeness. It wasn’t like he actually cared.

Elizabeth didn’t look at him, but her face was tilted in a way that Jack could see her smiling softly. “I might ask you the same question,” she said casually, brushing her finger along a porcelain swan on her wardrobe.

Jack furrowed his brows in confusion for a moment, but didn’t want to think too much on what her words might have meant. _It was only a simple question,_ Jack told himself. He wanted to get this over with as soon as possible, even though he would return to court and do it all over again the next day.

He walked closer to Elizabeth and put his hand on her shoulder, but he was surprised when she swatted him away.

“Don’t touch me!” she snapped, her intense gaze burning with fire.

Jack almost laughed as conflicting emotions washed over him. He had been waiting for someone—anyone—to push him away, to have at least a shred of decency left in them, but at the same time, Jack’s stomach clenched uncomfortably. Was he really so repugnant?

Jack backed away and bowed his head, his hands clasped tightly behind his back. “My apologies, Lady Elizabeth, I did not mean to harm you. But if I may ask, why would you ask for me if you didn’t want me here?”

Elizabeth calmed down as she straightened the already perfect folds in her blue silk dress. “I never said I didn’t want you here,” Jack raised an eyebrow at this, “I just wanted to talk to you in private. Don’t worry, I’ll still hold up my end of the bargain. My friends will hear many praises of you,” Elizabeth finished.

Jack looked deeper at her now, _oh_ , she was truly curious. He held his arms open wide and smirked. “Whatever my lady wishes’ to know.”

“Why are you doing this?” Elizabeth asked, keeping her tone even but with a hint of curiosity.

The mask that Jack had so carefully prepared almost cracked with that one single question and Jack had to force himself to keep the fake smile on his face. Of course, people had asked him why he was so eager to do their bidding before, but only for security reasons, to make sure he didn’t betray them. Elizabeth was looking at him not with suspicion and mistrust but with curiosity and—dare he say it—concern. Never before had someone actually looked like they _cared_.

Jack leaned casually against the bedpost and crossed his arms over his chest. “I do it for the money and the social status,” he smirked, “but this part is usually quite enjoyable too.”

Elizabeth studied him for a moment. _You’re lying_ , her narrowed eyes said.

“The emptiness in your eyes says otherwise,” she said out loud.

Jack remembered being so shocked in that moment, so surprised someone had seen through his mask, someone could see what he was…he didn’t know how to feel about that. He had wanted so desperately for someone to see him that now that Elizabeth did, he didn’t know how to feel. She could see the real him, and as much as he wanted for someone to care and to just not leave him alone ( _please don’t leave me alone again please please please everyone leaves please don’t leave me here alone_ ) another part of him didn’t want her to see beneath his façade. His real self was an ugly, ugly truth; underneath the bright beautiful smiles and sunshine, everything was dark and cold and disgusting. He didn’t want her to see that, to reject him, to run away in disgust or revulsion.

Jack remembered trying to repair his rapidly crumbling mask and wondering how was she able to destroy it with only a few simple words when Elizabeth threw her arms around him. He stood there, unsure of what had just happened, and then he let his mask fall and Elizabeth accepted it with literal open arms. She stayed and wasn’t repulsed by his true self, and for that, Jack was grateful.

He remembered going back to her one night when he was so afraid he was losing who he was; it was more of an unconscious decision, really, and by the time he realized what he was doing it was too late to turn back. He had been so scared of what she would think of him, but he was even more afraid of the demons that taunted him in the night. Elizabeth had accepted him without judgement and stayed with him until he fell asleep. When he woke she was still there, fast asleep on the armchair.  Jack kept going back after that night, and Elizabeth never denied him and never pushed him away.

The first time Jack came to her manor during the day was after a night spent with some faceless noblewoman, and Jack was overcome with hatred for himself. Elizabeth had already expressed her distaste for Jack’s methods of gaining power in the courts, but Jack had told her that he knew of no other way for someone of his low standing. Elizabeth couldn’t stand to see Jack throw his body away and so she proposed a plan to make Jack her lover. Of course, Jack had told her about Lacie by now, so she knew not to make him her actual lover, but that was what she told the court. She said that if everyone knew they were lovers then his status would skyrocket without him having to sell himself anymore. Jack agreed, albeit reluctantly.

“Why are you doing this? You don’t gain anything from this and you won’t be able to have a real lover if I’m with you,” he asked her when she made the proposal.

Elizabeth smiled gently at him. “I want to do more with my life than just embroider and gossip. If I can help just one person,” she gestured at him, “then I will do everything in my power to make you happy. Besides, I’m not going to go look for a lover, if they want me they can come find me,” she smiled.

And happy he was. For the first time since he had seen Lacie in that dingy alley, Jack was truly happy. It was such a rare thing that he cherished every day spent with Elizabeth. She had agreed to help him reach Lacie, and accepted his undying love for her. She always knew when Jack was using a fake smile, and she would gently scold him for it, but she would _care_. She always listened to him even when it was three in the morning and he had just had another nightmare; she had an unfinished sewing project on her bedside table and would always pretend she had been up anyway but Jack knew that she wasn’t. She would just invite him in and listen to him ramble and she was just so _there_.

They pretended to love each other when they were around others. Jack would still use his sunshine mask but after a while it didn’t feel so forced. Elizabeth got him to smile again, for real.

The first time they kissed was when a nobleman wanting to court Elizabeth demanded proof that her and Jack were really lovers. Elizabeth had tried to talk her way out of it, stumbling over her words in the process. Jack never noticed the deep red that colored her cheeks in that moment, he just kissed her cherry lips passionately and then looked triumphantly at the nobleman who had doubted them. Jack had been too amused by the shocked expression on the nobleman’s face to notice the one on Elizabeth’s, and how she slowly ghosted her fingertips over her lips.

Jack had grown to become a very self-loathing man. Elizabeth took notice of this and tried her very best to change these habits.

One night Jack came to her after an assassination job and he had paced outside her door for a good half hour before knocking, overthinking his decision on whether or not to tell Elizabeth. What if she called the police? What if he was arrested? All his dreams of ever seeing Lacie again would be smashed to bits—and Jack dreaded seeing the look of disgust and horror he knew he would see in Elizabeth’s eyes. He was already worried enough that she was going to cast him aside. He was much too clingy and dependent, and he talked too much and as many times as Elizabeth had assured them they were friends, Jack couldn’t help but think that anything he said or did would make her hate him. He didn’t want her to abandon him. She was the first friend he had had in a long time, one that was genuinely real and kind and didn’t want to use him for their own personal gain. But if all his late night visits and ramblings didn’t drive Elizabeth away, telling her he had killed a man surely would.

Jack finally knocked on her door after nearly wearing a rut in the floor from all his pacing, and Elizabeth greeted him with a wry smile. She had obviously known he was there— _you fool!_ Jack chided himself—but Elizabeth’s sarcastic expression faded the moment she saw his face.

She asked him what was the matter and invited him inside, and he sat on the bed with his hands clenched tightly together in his lap. He looked down at his shoes and his golden bangs draped over his face, hiding it. He didn’t speak for a few moments. Elizabeth watched him worriedly.

“I killed a man,” Jack said bluntly.

“Excuse me?” Elizabeth said incredulously, “you must be joking!”

She laughed nervously. Jack looked up at her with sad, definite eyes.

“And it’s not even the first time,” he said.

And there it was. That flash of fear in her eyes, the flinch of her hand going for the doorknob, or perhaps something to defend herself with, but then deciding against it and clasping her hands behind her back. There was fear and disbelief and so much disappointment. Jack had been waiting for that.

“o-oh,” Elizabeth stuttered.

Jack looked down at the floor again. He couldn’t bear the look in her eyes any longer. “I didn’t want to do it. I never want to do it, I hate doing it. The noblemen—they make me. Well, they don’t make me, but these jobs pay so well and I need the status to get to Lacie—I miss her so much and I just—I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I really am—“ Jack rambled idiotically, shaking his head. His braid flopped from side to side.

Elizabeth rubbed the goosebumps on her arms, unsure of what to do. “I can’t let this go on…I can’t have you _kill_ people—“

“I know!” Jack shouted, and Elizabeth jumped. Jack winced when he noticed her back away a few steps.

“I know,” he said, softer. “I’m sorry, I know it’s wrong and I’m sorry, I’m terrible for doing it, I know—“ he ran a hand through his bangs and tried to form his thoughts into coherent sentences. He was usually so eloquent, so why now did he sound like a babbling buffoon?

“I’m a monster, a wretch, a terrible, terrible wretch. I am nothing more than—“ he started, his face heating up when he realized how pathetic he sounded.

What surprised him most was when Elizabeth cupped her palms on his cheeks and smiled reassuringly at him, and Jack wondered how she wasn’t already running away in fear. But no, she reassured him and he wondered how he might’ve turned out if he had had a friend like her earlier in life.

“You say that you’re nothing? You are so much more than nothing. You have stars in your eyes and galaxies in your hair. The planets are at your fingertips and the sun and moon are in your heart. You are not _nothing_. You have the whole universe inside you. You are everything.”

The first time they told each other they loved each other was at a spring festival, underneath a cherry blossom tree. Elizabeth spun and twirled amongst the falling petals, laughing. Jack stood and watched her, a genuine smile on his face. Afterwards they had sat down on a bench under the tree and Jack helped Elizabeth take the pink petals out of her hair.

“I love you, Jack,” she said, and she meant it.

“I love you too, Liz,” Jack said, and he didn’t.

Jack only ever thought Elizabeth’s love was part of the act, and he kept his sights on Lacie. Still, he considered Elizabeth to be the first real friend he ever had and he enjoyed her company. For almost two years, she made him happy.

Then she left.

For the next few years, Jack fell further than he ever had before. Then he found Lacie.

And she left him too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay super long chapter there ehe but yes yes backstory from the time Jack was still trying to get to Lacie. Also, that aesthetic universe quote that Elizabeth says to Jack I got from a dream that I had. The most beautiful things I've heard have been in dreams...


	14. Choice

Jack gaped at the woman in front of him. _It couldn’t be—_

“I’m here Jack, don’t worry. I’m not an illusion,” Elizabeth said and smiled gently at him. She could always tell when he was freaking out, although Jack made no move to hide it this time.

“H-how are you…?” Jack sputtered.

Elizabeth looked at him sadly, pityingly. “I was still in Sablier after I left.”

_He killed her. She was dead because of him. She was in the tragedy and she was taken down into the Abyss to become a chain and she’ll never have another chance at life because he killed her he killed her he killed her he ruined everything it’s all his fault hisfaulthisfaulthisfaulthisfaulthisfaulthisfaulthis f au lt._

Jack was on the brink of hyperventilating when Elizabeth gingerly placed her hand on his cheek. “It’s alright Jack, it’s alright,” she cooed, brushing her thumb slightly over his skin soothingly, “I’m not mad at you. I forgive you,” Jack looked at her with wide eyes, “I should never have left you, I’m sorry. If I had been there for you then maybe none of this would have happened.”

Jack’s lower lip trembled. “W-why did you leave me?”

Elizabeth removed her hand and stepped away. “I was jealous, Jack. All I ever wanted was to make you happy, but I wanted to be happy too. And I realized that you were never going to love me as much as her. That’s why I left.”

Jack was going to say something but as soon as he opened his mouth, he found he couldn’t get a sound to come out. He pressed his lips together and Elizabeth filled the silence instead.

“I’m sorry Jack, I really am.”

“Why would you…” Jack trailed off.

“I was able to find love after I left you. I was well into the marrying age and my family wanted me to either get engaged to you or find a new husband. I knew I could never take away your dream of finding Lacie, so I went away to find someone new. I found love, Jack, and I want that for you too. I want you to be happy. That’s why I wanted to help you find Lacie,” Elizabeth said.

Jack was still stunned by all this new information, and the shock at seeing Elizabeth again after all this time.

“I thought I would never see you again,” he said.

Elizabeth smiled weakly in apology.

“And what do you mean by ‘help me find Lacie?’” Jack inquired, “Are you coming with Ariella and I?”

The sorry expression on Elizabeth’s face was wiped away as she giggled behind her hand.

“Oh Jack,” she cooed, with a tone that insisted he had just said something stupid but he couldn’t figure out what it was.

“Did I ever tell you my middle name?”

Jack was taken aback by the random question. “What does that have to do with any of this?” he asked, holding his arms out on both sides and glancing around the strange room.  

Elizabeth only smiled wider and tilted her head to the side to look at him like he was a fool. If it had been anyone other than her doing that, Jack would have been more than annoyed.  

“It’s Ariella,” Elizabeth said.

 Memories flashed in jacks mind. Ariella standing over him when they had first met, saying “I have been granted powers by the Will of the Abyss herself. Do not test me, Jack Vessalius.”

The Will of the Abyss. Of course! How could he have not seen it sooner! The Will of the Abyss could age and de-age people at will. And he couldn’t understand how he could be so stupid as to not notice the similarities between Ariella and Elizabeth because they were both the same person! It all made sense now.

Jack couldn’t believe it. He could believe that Elizabeth was Ariella because of the powers of the Abyss, he just couldn’t believe that little spunky girl who led him through the trials was really the woman who had saved him in his past life on earth. It did make sense, with the way Ariella had comforted him the same way Elizabeth had, although, what didn’t make sense was _why_. Why she had led him through the trials was an easy one to guess. Revenge. He destroyed her, ruined her home and stole her life away and that was why she had joined those awful figures in white. What didn’t make sense was why she bothered to comfort him in the first place, but he chocked it all up to her being a magnificent actress needing to be able to string along the God of Lies. It stung to think that the compassionate Elizabeth he knew would join a group devoted to tormenting him, but it was understandable. She had been happy somewhere, and he swept in and destroyed it all. And for what? What had he gotten in exchange for all the strife he had caused with the Tragedy of Sablier? He was deemed a hero but only through his own selfish words, and yet he had sacrificed everything for it. For what?

_For Lacie_.

This was only ever for Lacie.

Jack was suddenly overcome with bitter resentment as he remembered the years of his court life looking for his lost love. After a while he had begun to hate Lacie. He hated her for what she did to him, this terrible power she had over him; this cursed influence. He regretted ever meeting her, and immediately chided himself for the thought. It wasn’t her fault. But sometimes Jack thought, _yes, it really was_. She had ensnared him in her scheme like she was a venus fly trap and he was a poor, unassuming fly. Why did everything have to be _his_ fault? Why couldn’t he just blame her—no, he loved her. He couldn’t do that. Jack couldn’t help but wonder though, about the what-ifs. Without Lacie, he wouldn’t even be alive right now. But if that were true, all of Sablier still would be.

Jack pointed at Elizabeth, shocked. “y-you…you’re…!” he stuttered. He didn’t know what to say. What could he possibly say to this?

Elizabeth _(Ariella? Elizabeth? Elizabeth Ariella?)_ nodded.

“So? Are we going to get back Lacie or what?” she said with a brilliant smile.

“Ah yes, lover-boy’s red-eyed wench,” Jack heard from behind him.

He spun around ready to lunge at whoever had insulted his Lacie, but he was met with the smug grin of the _Ciasstolas_ Dietry. She held her palm out at him and her magic shot him through the air, and Jack’s body connected with a pillar across the room. Elizabeth heard a sickening crack as Jack hit the pillar, and she was sure something had broken.

“Jack!” Elizabeth cried out. Dietry motioned for her to stay where she was, but she wanted nothing more than to go to Jack’s side.

Jack almost whimpered in pain as he tried to sit up, but gritted his teeth against it. He couldn’t afford to show weakness now, not when he was so close. It felt like someone had taken a hammer and pounded it against his chest. He put a hand to his ribs and knew that at least one of them was cracked, and he gritted his teeth. Blood rushed in his ears and he didn’t want to move, but he had to get to Lacie. She was so close _so close_. He could feel it. He just had to get rid of this incessant _Ciasstolas_ first, which wouldn’t be too much of a problem if b-rabbit decided to cooperate with him this time. What he was going to do with Elizabeth, he didn’t know. Jack painfully pushed himself into a sitting position and brushed his hand over his mouth. It came away sticky with blood. He groaned as he got to his feet.

“Ah, quite the brave little hero, aren’t you?” Dietry smirked, “think you can save Lacie?”

Jack limped unsteadily closer to the _Ciasstolas_. “Where is she?” he said in a dangerous tone, “what have you done with her?”

The _Ciasstolas_ put her hand up to pacify him and said, “Don’t you worry your pretty little head, the red eyed wench is safe. She’s just…” Dietry looked up at the ceiling and pretended to consider her words before looking back at Jack. “Resting,” she finished.

Jack shot her a glare that clearly said, _tell me where she is or I will kill you_.

Dietry gestured to a large set of double doors made out of stone. The doors stood well above Jack’s height; if he was twice as tall as he was now he still wouldn’t reach the top. Vines dangled from the ceiling and clung to the stone, dripping down the doors like floral poison. Jack could faintly see small indentations, but couldn’t see what they were of from this distance.

“Lacie is just behind those doors,” Dietry said calmly.

Jack didn’t even give her enough time to finish her sentence before he bolted toward the stone doors.

_Lacie Lacie Lacie Lacie LacieLacieLacieLacieLacieLacieLacieLacieLaciela c ie lac i e._

Jack ran as fast as he could, ignoring the pain as the movement jostled his ribs, and he practically crashed against the doors.

“Lacie!” he screamed as he began to pound on the stone.

She was so close so close so close, right behind these doors was the girl he had searched for for so long. He could feel it, he knew she was there. She was right there in front of him, only separated by a thick few feet of stone. He looked for a way to open the doors but there was no handle, no place to be able to pry them open. It was as if someone had stuck two perfectly smooth slabs of stone together and called it a door. Jack tried pushing on the doors but they held still, too heavy and immovable. He looked to the sides of the doors for a lever or a button or _something_ , but there was only vines and the endless colorful space of the Abyss. Jack let out a cry of frustration as he punched the stone.  

“Damn you…open!”

He pounded his fists repeatedly on the stone but nothing worked, and Jack knew there wasn’t a way to get the doors to open by himself, but he had to try anyway. For Lacie. He pounded his fists on the stone until the skin on his hands was bloody and torn, and even then he kept going, desperately, almost madly.

“Lacie!” he screamed at the door. He wanted to hear her voice. He wanted her to hear him and to know he was there and that he was going to save her. He wanted to tell her that she wouldn’t be alone anymore.

Silence.

“Lacie…” Jack cried, desperate and exhausted.

His breathing was ragged and heavy as he sunk to his knees in front of the doors, hands still scratching at the stone in a last ditch attempt. Jack pressed his forehead to the cool stone as if he could will it to open with his mind. His shoulders shook uncontrollably and he closed his eyes, letting the darkness envelop him. He was so close…

“Are you done?” came the sardonic voice of Dietry behind him.

When Jack turned his head to look at her, Elizabeth saw how his eyes had darkened and she almost didn’t recognize him. She wondered if this was what they looked like after Lacie died, so full of hatred and desperation and despair, so lost, so broken. It didn’t scare her, the manic look she saw on his face, if anything it just made her want to hug him more.

Jack stood up and his gaze flicked to Elizabeth before settling back on Dietry. “Let me see Lacie,” he said with disturbing calmness.

Dietry smiled. “I will…if you do something for me.” 

“Wait!” Elizabeth said, running up to Jack, “let me talk to him first.”

Dietry shrugged and looked aside as Elizabeth wrapped her arms around Jack and buried her face in his shirt. Jack reluctantly placed his hands tentatively around her, unsure what was going on. Elizabeth looked up at Jack and smiled sadly.

“I want you to know that I care about you, Jack. Even though I found love with someone else, I never forgot about you,” she looked like she was about to cry and Jack didn’t know how to react, except he felt warmth blossom in his heart at her words. “I want you to know that I forgive you. No matter what choice you make, I forgive you.”

Jack was about to ask her what she meant by what choice _(the tragedy?)_ when Dietry piped up. “Aw, how sweet… _now kill her_.”

“Excuse me?!” Jack spluttered. He hoped he hadn’t heard that right.

Dietry looked at him, cold and unfeeling. “You heard me, kill her,” she tilted her chin toward Elizabeth.

Jack vigorously shook his head. “No…no, no, no! I’m not going to ki—“ He was interrupted by a hand softly placed on his arm. 

Elizabeth looked up at him with pleading eyes. “Jack.”

Jack looked down at her. She looked so small in that moment that Jack almost forgot that she was a year older than him. He wanted to protect her, not _kill_ her. It was all too much. He was done with all of that. No more would an innocent person be slaughtered at his hand, or by his fault. Jack knew the consequences of his actions, the suffering he brought upon so many people (and himself) and he was done with it. He knew he could never erase past mistakes, but he would do everything in his power to make sure they never happened again.

“You can’t make me do this,” Jack said as he looked to Dietry. 

“Kill her, and the doors open. You will be free to go to your beloved Lacie, and live out the rest of your disgusting little lives together,” Dietry snarled. “Let Elizabeth go and the doors will be sealed forever. You will never see Lacie again.”

Jack couldn’t speak, couldn’t breathe. Before all of this he would have had no problem with this task and would have done whatever he could so he could be with Lacie, no matter what. That was the old him, the one that put Lacie in front of everything else. The old him that destroyed a city out of grief and anger and selfishness, the one who was obsessive over Lacie and couldn’t see anything else around him. The old him would have had no problem with this.

But this journey had changed him.

He was no longer the cruel and vengeful man he had been before. Jack wasn’t as optimistic as to hope that he had become less selfish or stupid, but he knew he couldn’t let go of old habits. He knew he was unhealthily obsessed with Lacie, but he loved her so, so much. He just knew not to put her above everything else anymore and to sacrifice the lives of many for her and his own greed. He still treasured her as a goddess, which Jack was sure she was, but he would not kill his friends to be with her. Elizabeth had been the only one who supported him in those long, dark years of searching for Lacie and he couldn’t kill her.

_But…Lacie_ , his mind told him.

If he didn’t kill Elizabeth, he would never see Lacie again. He wanted so desperately to hold Lacie in his arms, to capture her ethereal beauty in his eyes, to gaze upon her smiling face and carmine eyes after being apart from her for so long. He missed her so much, he wanted to live inside her lungs so he never had to be apart from her ever again. He wanted to melt into her until their bodies were combined into one being, sharing one soul. Jack never knew what to do without Lacie, when the best part of him was always her.

_Oh, but Elizabeth…_

She clung to him, her delicate hands clutched his jacket and she looked up at him with eyes filled with emotion that threatened to spill out onto her cheeks. _She loved him once,_ Jack thought. It was a strange thought, one he hadn’t ever really considered. He hadn’t always been totally aware of her love for him, but he knew she had cared for him, and cared for him still. She had told him many, many times.

_“I care about you, Jack. Don’t forget that,”_ she had said to him on almost a daily basis, and it filled him with warmth and light.

He would sometimes catch her gaze lingering on him with an unreadable expression on her face, or she would kiss him even when there was no one around to see and they didn’t have to keep up the act of being lovers. He would wonder about it for a moment, then shrug it off as dedicated acting or some other excuse. He didn’t want to consider the possibility that Elizabeth might actually love him. For Jack, there had only ever been Lacie. There only ever was Lacie, there would only ever be Lacie. Elizabeth had given him so much, and for that he was grateful, but he didn’t want her to love him because he couldn’t give her that in return. She had brought him solace and he couldn’t even repay her with the one small thing she wished for from him.

He loved Lacie too much.

Dietry grinned and conjured a sword out of thin air, holding it by the hilt so that the blade pointed toward the sky. The metal glinted sharply and Jack grimaced.

“Oh don’t worry darling, Elizabeth was killed in the tragedy _just like the rest of us_ ,” Dietry spat out the last few words. “Her spirit is all that is left, but it can still be killed like a living human,” Dietry brought the sword down slowly and then lunged forward, stabbing the air dramatically. She looked at Jack and grinned maliciously, completely ignoring Elizabeth.

“What will happen to her?” Jack asked. If living souls were sent to the Abyss, where did they go if they were killed _in_ the Abyss?

Dietry shrugged cluelessly. She held the bottom of the swords hilt in her outstretched arm, offering it to Jack. He looked at the sword and then down at Elizabeth, a pained expression on his face.

“I can’t do this,” he said.

Elizabeth put her hand on his arm, and he tried not to notice how it trembled. “You must,” she said.

Jack shook his head. “I may be a terrible selfish bastard but I am not so cruel that I would do this to you.”

Elizabeth’s eyes shone with watery emotion. “Jack, all I have ever wanted was for you to be happy. To finally be at peace. You deserve it,” Jack’s eyes flashed with something unreadable but Elizabeth continued, “I shouldn’t have left you when you were so alone, I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry…”

She trailed off and Jack squeezed her shoulder reassuringly.

“I loved you, once, but deep down I knew—I knew that Lacie was always the one for you. I see the look in your eyes when you think of her, and if she is the one who makes you happy, then I want that for you. Let me give this to you, as my last gift. Go find Lacie, and be happy, Jack. This is what you’ve always wanted.”

“I don’t want this.”

“You want Lacie.”

Jack looked down at the floor, suddenly feeling very small and monstrously large at the same time. He looked back at Elizabeth, who had trails of tears marring her fair complexion.

“Oh my God,” Dietry groaned and threw her free arm up in exasperation, “stop with the mushy-gushy melodrama already and take the sword! You and I both know you want it.”

Jack glared at her sideways before sighing and gripping the hilt of the sword, removing it from Dietry’s grasp. He kept the point of the sword to the ground as he looked back at Elizabeth.

“I don’t know what to do,” Jack said, not even bothering to hide how his voice trembled.

Elizabeth placed her hand softly over his, the hand that held the sword. She looked at him with pleading eyes, but they were so sad, so very sad.

“Do this,” she said, her voice barely a whisper.

Elizabeth drew back her hand and stood up straight. Jack took a deep breath and watched Elizabeth stick her neck out and close her eyes. Dietry watched them with a morbid fascination, drawing closer to their encounter with every second.

Jack raised the sword.

_Not again not again please I promised I wouldn’t do it again I can’t do this again not again_

The sword trembled in the air. It was almost too heavy for Jack to hold.

So he let it fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No but like did anyone see that coming that Ariella would be Elizabeth or was I too obvious? Also, I've noticed I have a terrible penchant for cliffhangers and I'm sorry for that (no I'm not)


	15. Lacie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I think I've been forgetting to put this as a warning if it's come up before, but yea, slight swearing in this chapter.

The sword connected with bone and flesh with a sickening _crack_ and Jack could feel the horrible hotness of blood splatter his face.  He heard the thump of her body slamming lifelessly onto the ground and he winced. He opened his eyes and looked at the dead eyes of a decapitated head that stared back at him, yet at nothing. He stood there for a moment and everything was so silent, he wanted to pinch himself to make sure he was really there. Everything about the Abyss seemed surreal, but this…

Jack watched as Dietry’s body evaporated into the air, vanishing into nothing.

Elizabeth watched him.

“Jack…” she breathed, breaking the silence.

Jack threw down the sword and it _clanged_ on the ground. “I’ve come this far, I won’t let a little door stop me now. I’ll find another way to save Lacie,” Jack said and gave Elizabeth a weary smile.

“Oh Jack!” Elizabeth exclaimed, her face breaking into a huge smile. She wrapped her arms around him and Jack returned the gesture. When she withdrew, she was still smiling at him. She looked up at the door and back to him.

“You did it, Jack,” she said.

Jack furrowed his brows. “Did what?”

The doors shifted and dust rained down from the top of the carved stone.

“This was a trial,” Elizabeth said.

Jack looked from the door and back to her. “You mean…”

Elizabeth nodded. “You finally found who you were looking for.”

Despite everything, all the pain and torment that he had suffered, Jack laughed. It wasn’t an insane, hysterical laughter plagued with despair and desperation, it was a very rare laugh that Jack hadn’t heard himself make since the last time he saw Lacie. It was happy and it was real.

The towering stone doors slowly parted and Jack could hardly bear the anticipation. He would finally be able to see Lacie again, after all these years, after all this strife. His heart clenched at the thought that they would finally be together again, that he could be _whole_ again. He never felt quite so real other than when he was with her. He wanted to hold her, to kiss her, to have his blood drip into her mouth and her hand to reach into his chest and gouge out his heart to take for herself. He wanted her to take all that he was, he wanted her to take his very existence and make it into something beautiful because that was something only she could do. She could give meaning to anything. She could take something as dirty and corrupted as him and fill it with light and it was the most amazing thing Jack had ever experienced in his entire life. Lacie was a goddess, or an angel, she must be, because what being was so overflowing with purity that it was able to piece back together a soul as shattered as his? She was the angel that had saved the boy with the broken soul.

As soon as the doors slid open enough for Jack to fit through, he slid through without hesitation. Whatever awaited him on the other side, surely the _Ciasstolas_ wouldn’t let go of their plaything so easily, it was nothing compared to the jubilation Jack felt at the thought of seeing Lacie again. Trials be damned, he had finally found her.

He was frozen in place the moment he saw her. She was just as beautiful as he remembered, if not more, and Jack was in a state of absolute bliss at the opportunity to finally see her again. She was asleep on some kind of thin wooden bed oddly shaped like a coffin and decorated with flowers. Her dark lashes fluttered against her pale cheeks and her hands were crossed delicately over her chest. She wore a silky peach dress that pooled around her and mixed with the array of vibrantly colored flowers and contrasted her long brown hair that looked almost black.

Jack reached out and brushed his fingers lightly over her bangs, then pulled back as if he was doing something he shouldn’t.

_Oh but he wanted so much to…_

“Lacie?” he asked quietly, as if he didn’t want to disturb her from her slumber. Which was ironic, because that was exactly what he wanted to do at the moment. Lacie always did say that they were both living contradictions, a paradox unfit for the world but only for each other.

“Lacie? It’s me, Jack,” he said, a little louder this time.

Lacie did not stir. Not even a flutter of the eyelashes.

Jack debated whether or not he should shake her awake. He didn’t want her to wake suddenly and see his hand on her shoulder and then have her get mad at him, but Jack wanted so badly for her to awaken. He wanted to hear her voice, to see her beautiful red irises again. He gently put his hand on her shoulder and shook her ever so slightly, and he knew that wasn’t going to be enough for her to notice at all. But he was already past what he was supposed to do and he didn’t want her to reject him and leave him like everyone else, because everyone always left him eventually and he never knew why. He tried so hard not to anger Lacie because he wanted her by his side always.

“Lacie?”

Jack tried shaking her shoulder again. Her skin was warm under his palm and he could see the rise and fall of her stomach as she breathed, so he didn’t understand why she didn’t wake up. His mind began conjuring up the worst possible scenarios about how she might really be lost to him forever and his worry increased. He could feel the panic begin to seep in, the sense of “what am I going to do now?” and he wondered if Lacie was all right. If those _Ciasstolas_ had hurt her—

“Well she’s not going to wake up if you try it like that, dearie,” Jack heard a familiar voice say behind him.

He spun around to see Mattrich sauntering through the gap in the stone doors, a twelve year old Ariella trailing behind her. He instinctively tried to shield Lacie with his body like he was expecting Mattrich to shoot a bolt of lightning at them. For all he knew, she probably could.

“Stay away from Lacie,” Jack gritted through his teeth.

Mattrich pouted. “Oh, don’t be so mean,” she said before cackling evilly. “Don’t you want her to wake up?”

“What did you do to her? If you hurt—“ Jack said angrily.

Mattrich raised a placating hand and cut him off. “Don’t you worry your pretty little head, lover boy, the girl is fine. Just a little sleeping spell is all.”

“Then take it _off_ ,” Jack ground out.

Mattrich raised an eyebrow. “Hm, let me think about that…” she tapped a finger to her chin and feigned a look of deep contemplation. “ _No_ ,” she said simply, yet arrogantly.

Jack’s blood boiled with white hot anger and he lunged at Mattrich. He could barely hear Ariella scream “Jack no!” over the pounding of his heart in his ears. He knew it was stupid, but he needed Lacie to wake up. She was right there in front of him, she was real and not some illusion or some cruel figment of his imagination he would dream of in the night and would be gone in the morning when he awoke. She was finally _his_ , if only he could get her to wake up.

Mattrich laughed and with a flick of her wrist, she flung Jack against the opposite wall. He hit the wall with an audible _crack_ and his body fell to the floor, slumped in a pile like a doll. He didn’t even scream. Ariella started to run over to him but Mattrich put a hand out to stop her. Ariella couldn’t see Jack move, he just lied there limply and she prayed he hadn’t snapped his neck. She wanted to smack Mattrich’s hand out of the way and say to hell with this whole plan, but she knew she couldn’t. The Will of the Abyss may have put Ariella in charge of looking after Jack, but Mattrich was the so-called queen of this operation. She had the final say, and Ariella was powerless to defy her.  

Mattrich strode over to where Jack was, her hips swaying confidently and making her dress swish back and forth. She stood in front of where Jack had landed and saw his chest rise and fall unevenly with each struggled breath.  His eyes were squeezed tight in pain and he seemed to be breathing heavily yet trying not to breathe at all at the same time. Mattrich figured he had broken more ribs and she smiled to herself.

Was she enjoying this? _Immensely_.

What a joy it had been to watch this heir to a mongrel bitch squirm and struggle through all of her carefully constructed trials. She basked in the pleasure of seeing him writhe in pain, he who had destroyed her world. The rest of the _Ciasstolas_ agreed with her, all contributing to their revenge against the beast who had destroyed Sablier. Mattrich spared a momentary glance at Ariella, who looked on with wide, concerned eyes. _Well, except that one_ the _Magjistarѐ_ thought. She could never figure out why the girl cared so much.

Either way, the Will of the Abyss had been a fool to think this man could achieve redemption. But Mattrich and the _Ciasstolas_ sure did love the power she had granted them, and the ability to achieve their revenge. How naïve the Abyss’ ruler was, Mattrich chortled.

Mattrich kicked Jack in the ribs none too softly. Jack startled, letting out a yelp of pain and continuing to groan as his hand went to his abused side and he flinched away from the _Magjistarѐ_.

“Wake up, sunshine!” Mattrich called out and clapped her hands together. She gave Jack a biting smile as she looked down at him.

Jack groaned as her voice elevated his already splitting headache but he forced his eyes to open. He glared intensely at her as much as he could from his position on the floor. He figured he should get up soon, if not for whatever scraps of dignity he had left than to avoid another brutal kick. He tried to move but was met with even more pain shooting down his side and he grit his teeth to avoid making a sound. He breathed heavily through his teeth and tried again, only this time he was met with resistance. Mattrich stamped her foot down heavily upon his chest and laughed at his pathetic attempts to recover himself.

“If you would only _listen_ for a moment,” Mattrich ground her heel into Jack’s chest and he drew in a sharp breath, “I would have told you how to remove the spell on Lacie.”

Jack clenched his jaw and spoke with barely restrained anger, “how?”

Mattrich made an extravagant hand gesture in the air before stepping off of him. “With another trial of course,” she said with a smirk.

Jack took a deep breath and winced at the pain it caused his agitated ribs. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to block out the pain as he lifted himself off the ground, and when he opened his eyes Mattrich had already walked away and Ariella was by his side. Jack looked at her. She looked as if she were about to cry with how concerned she was, and Jack almost smiled at her. It felt nice to have someone concerned about him for once.

“You’re young again.”

Maybe in all of this hilarity Jack had lost the ability to think, or he had hit his head when he was thrown because that was all he could think of to say.

Ariella smiled at him. “I like this form better,” was all she said before helping to gingerly lift him off the ground. Jack denied her from helping him walk over to Mattrich, as he still had some semblance of pride to uphold. He limped over to the _Magjistarѐ_ , but he did so with his head held high.

“What do you want me to do now?” Jack asked bitterly.

Mattrich smiled at him. “Oh, you’re gonna love this,” she said and produced two stones to fit in her palms. Jack watched her curiously, and a thought flitted through his head that maybe she meant to throw the stones at him. He almost laughed. Mattrich instead chose to throw the stones up in the air, where they remained with the use of her magic. They were suspended on either side of her and she ignited them with her fiery magic. Soon the two stones were engulfed in eerie blue flames. Jack became acutely aware of the rest of the lights in the room dimming to nothing, and the only source of illumination was the stones, which cast a blue glow throughout the dim room.

“It’s simple, just choose a stone and grab onto it. One will allow Lacie to awaken,” Mattrich leaned closer to Jack and whispered, “The other will cause her to die.”

Jack pursed his lips and glared at the stones. He watched as the blue flames licked the surface and danced in the air and he wondered how he was going to do this. If Lacie died because of him, because he made the wrong choice… then he would have nothing left. He couldn’t do that to Lacie, he would never forgive himself if anything happened to her because of him. He took a deep breath—ignoring the pain that shot through his ribs—and he looked to Mattrich.

“Can I ask you something about them?” he asked.

“They look exactly the same, and I can give you no hints,” Mattrich said, assuming she knew what he would ask. “Choose wisely, and you might be able to save your beloved Lacie. Go on, be a _hero_ ,” Mattrich stuck her neck out and grinned.

Jack shrugged casually. “I was only going to ask if holding the stones would hurt.”

Mattrich threw her head back and cackled. “Oh what a coward you are! Is that all you’re worried about? Always thinking of yourself, so dreadfully selfish. Tsk tsk,” Mattrich wagged a finger at him patronizingly. Jack sighed and tried to cover his irritation. “To answer your question, yes, it is going to hurt _immensely_ and I am going to laugh and relish in the sound of your screams,” Mattrich said with a note of hilarity, and Jack could tell she was excited. He didn’t take a moment to consider her insane expression when he reached out and took a hold of both of the burning stones.

For a moment, all he knew was pain. That was all he was, this burning, searing, flesh-eating terrible pain was all he knew and he simply ceased to exist in this miasma of agony. He heard something far off, loud and tormented, and he realized it was himself screaming. The stones burned his hands, turned his fingers to nothing more than charred stubs and his wrists to melted liquid. His skin blackened and flaked off, disintegrating in the blue fire. Blood spilled from his fingers and evaporated instantly, momentarily coloring the flame purple with the red mist. Jack screamed so loud he thought the sound might tear his throat to shreds and he would have to live the rest of his life as a handless mute. He still held on to both of those blasted stones, ignoring Mattrich, ignoring Ariella, ignoring the pain. All he could focus on was Lacie. He would not let her die like this, not now, not ever again.

“Jack!” Ariella called out to him, and he felt the stones fall from weightlessness. He still felt the burning but he knew they were no longer on fire, so he let them fall to the floor. He looked at his hands, still shaking, and tentatively turned them over and back again. They were just as they were before, as if no damage had ever been done to them. Jack spat out a few curses and briefly wondered why magic always had to be so complicated. He almost blacked out with how hard he was breathing, rasping for air and for coolness. He stood up wearily and plastered an exhausted but triumphant grin on his face, even as he cradled his hands to his chest. His heart was pounding as much as his head was, and his hands hurt so much he had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from crying out, but he took great pleasure in seeing the look of utter shock on Mattrich’s face.

“Did I win?” Jack asked breathlessly, yet still managing to be cocky.

“H-how…?” Mattrich could barely even speak in her state of shock. She looked at Jack standing where the stones had once hung in the air. “How did you know…?” Mattrich’s stunned expression abruptly turned to one of rage. Her gaze shot to Ariella, who stood to the side with her hand pressed over her mouth. Her cheeks were full and it was obvious she was smiling.

“You told him!” Mattrich shrieked and pointed at Ariella. “You traitorous bitch!”

Mattrich began to advance toward Ariella when Jack put a hand on her shoulder to stop her. He leaned in close and sneered, “She told me nothing.”

Mattrich shot a hand out and Jack was pushed back against the wall by an invisible force. Mattrich held her arm out and raised it, and it with it, Jack was raised higher along the wall too. She squeezed her hand slightly, and Jack could feel his own throat tightening, as if somebody had a hand on it. She was choking him, he realized.

“Then how did you figure it out!” Mattrich screeched.

A lopsided smile came into place on Jack’s face. “You gave me a hint, remember?”

“What?! I never helped you! I had hoped to see the look on your face when that _bitch_ died!”

Jack’s eyes flashed dangerously and he vowed then to do everything he could to destroy this woman.

“You said the stones would hurt. That’s what gave it away. I know you want to hurt me as much as possible because, let’s face it, you’re not discreet about it. So I took both stones,” he wheezed. He using up all of his waning air supply but he didn’t care as long as he got to see the frustrated expression on the _Magjistarѐ’s_ face.

Mattrich screamed in frustration and thrust her hand to the side, flinging Jack against the far wall. The blood rushed in his ears but he barely registered the pain with all the adrenaline coursing through his veins. He sat up unsteadily and looked at Mattrich, wild eyes gleaming. He screamed “I win!” over and over and laughed roughly.

Mattrich looked positively enraged, but she disappeared in a flurry of black smoke without a word. Jack looked about ready to collapse and Ariella swiftly ran over to help him. She fell to her knees in front of him and searched frantically, as if she would be able to see the broken bones from underneath his jacket. Jack was barely able to support himself on his shaking arms and Ariella reached out to help him. Jack screamed in pain and threw his head back at just the slightest touch.

“Oh Jack, I’m so sorry… I couldn’t do anything…” Ariella said, tears in her eyes.

Jack put his hand on her cheek and turned her face to look at him. His eyes were half lidded with exhaustion and he was panting, but he was grinning widely. “We did it, Ariella! We did it!” he laughed. He tried to get up but Ariella put a hand on his shoulder to hold him down. Jack looked at her.

“I have to be with Lacie, I need to be there when she wakes up…” Jack gasped, out of breath.

Ariella pushed lightly on Jack’s chest to get him to sit and he grunted. “It’s okay, she’ll still be there when I’m done. She won’t wake up without you.” She waved her hand in the air and a gold ring appeared out of the center of a small burst of white light. Jack noticed it was curiously missing the gem that was supposed to adorn it. There was an indentation in the gold as to where the gem should be, but it was empty.

“Ah, true loves kiss to break the spell?” Jack asked only half sarcastically. If it were true then it gave him an excuse to kiss Lacie. And she couldn’t be mad at him for that right? He _was_ saving her life, after all.

Ariella waved a hand at him. “Don’t be cliché.” She held the ring out to him in her open palm and said, “She will awaken once you put this on her finger.”

Jack reached for the ring but Ariella snatched it away. Jack grabbed for it but she held it out of his reach, and he couldn’t move very far with his injuries.

“Ah, ah,” Ariella chided, “let me heal you first, you can hardly move.”

Jack rolled his eyes but finally acquiesced. Ariella placed her hand on his heart and he felt warmth spread throughout his chest. It flowed through him and wrapped itself around his bones, fusing them back together. It was comforting and strange at the same time and Jack let out a sigh. The magic left him, taking the pain along with it. Ariella ghosted her fingertips over his face, taking care of any scratches and bruises, and Jack no longer felt the sticky blood cling to his face. She sat back and smiled softly at him, and he nodded his thanks to her. She held the ring out in her palm and Jack wasted no time in snatching it up and bolting off in the direction of Lacie’s resting place.

Jack stood before her wooden bed, looking down at her still sleeping form. He observed the constant rise and fall of her stomach as she breathed in and out, the way her lips formed this shape that almost looked like she was trying to say something but forgot what it was. Her hair splayed out over her shoulders and trailed down like a waterfall, cascading over the brightly colored flowers. Time seemed to slow down, when everything prior had seemed to have been sped up. The comparison startled him.

He took a measured breath ( _he wasn’t nervous_ ) and sat down on the edge of the wooden bed, careful not to touch Lacie. He was barely even sitting on it at all, one slight movement and he might fall off, but then again, if he did, Lacie would just laugh and smile and call him a foolish idiot. He could act as suave and charming as any nobleman, even more so, Jack liked to think, when time came for it. He needed that skill for his court life, and it had served him well. But with Lacie, beautiful Lacie, he never quite could manage to pull it off. He would stumble on his words and trip on his own two feet; it was no wonder Lacie thought him a fool. He had done many disgusting things in his lifetime; many, many things he regretted, but he would always be able to do them with a perfectly constructed mask. With Lacie, his cheeks flushed red with even the simplest of actions, like her brushing her hand against his. As if he were nothing more than a young school boy with his first crush.

Truly idiotic.

It would embarrass him to no end, how he was unable to control how he acted around her, but it felt good, in a sense. He would try to lie but he couldn’t, and soon found he didn’t need to. Lacie loved him as he was, and he didn’t need to pretend. With something as innocent as holding hands…it made him feel _clean_.

It made him feel like he was worth something.

Jack realized he had been absentmindedly turning the ring over in his fingers and he closed his hand around it. This was no time to be nervous ( _he wasn’t nervous what was there to be nervous about_ ) and he needed to wake Lacie and get her out of this wretched place.

Jack swallowed and took a deep breath before gently taking Lacie’s limp hand in his own. His eyes briefly flickered to her face as if looking for a sign of her stirring, but she remained still. He hoped she had had a really wonderful dream.

He gingerly slipped the golden ring on her finger and set her hand down where it had been. He wanted to hold it longer but he knew he shouldn’t, he didn’t want her to be mad at him when she woke up.

Oh he wanted to hope that she would be happy to see him, he wanted it so badly. He wanted her to tell him that she missed him like he missed her, and for her to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him. He wanted to hope, his heart ached for it; he wanted to finally be happy.

He saw her eyelids flutter and she yawned before fully opening them. She tried pushing herself up with her arms but they were shaking— _how long had she been asleep?_ —so Jack took the initiative to help her sit up.

She looked around the room dazed and confused before her gaze finally settled on Jack. Her eyes narrowed ever so slightly as she looked at him, the sleep still evident in her bleary eyes.

“…Lacie?” Jack asked meekly, his voice soft. He bit his lower lip in anticipation.

Lacie tilted her head to the side slightly and looked at him with confusion.

“Who’s Lacie?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahahahaha you really didn't think it'd be that easy, did you? [grins devilishly] I do so love tormenting our poor Jack (but he deserves it, it's okay)


	16. Innocence & Mystery

Jack’s stomach jumped to his throat and he found that he could barely breathe. _Oh please let her just be tricking him_ —Jack didn’t want to think about the effects of this if she wasn’t putting on another one of her ploys.

Jack swallowed his thoughts and pushed them to the back of his mind. “Lacie?”

She stared at him blankly.

Jack heard someone clear their throat and realized it was Ariella. He didn’t know she was still there until that moment. He saw her walk towards him and Lacie, with her arms held awkwardly as if she didn’t know where to put them. She made eye contact with the disoriented Lacie and gave her a half smile.

“Um…hi,” Ariella waved awkwardly, “I’m Elizabeth Ariella Matheres, but you can call me Ariella.” She nodded to Lacie, who nodded back in acknowledgment, but she didn’t say anything. Ariella nudged her chin at Jack and introduced him.

Lacie looked at Jack, who was still gaping like a fish, and turned her gaze back to Ariella. “Your friend is strange,” she said.

Ariella smiled weakly and put her hand under Jack’s chin to close his mouth for him. “I get that a lot,” she said.

Lacie looked around the room, then at the stunned Jack, showing no sign of recognition. “Um…where am I?”

“The Abyss,” Jack answered without thinking, then his eyes widened when he realized what he had said.

Lacie’s eyes widened too. “The—!”

Ariella spared Jack a momentary glare before looking back at Lacie. She held her hand out to Lacie to help her stand, and Lacie hesitantly took it.

“How did I end up…?” Lacie began but Ariella interrupted.

“You lost your memories,” Ariella said, and it was a shock to both Lacie and Jack. Jack burst upright and stood with them, and the sudden movements startled Lacie and she flinched. Jack cringed.

Ariella motioned for Lacie to walk beside her. Jack trailed behind them awkwardly.

“Here, come with me, I’ll explain everything on the way,” Ariella said gently and began leading Lacie out of the room.

 

After a while, Jack finally mustered up the courage to ask where they were going. He needed to know that Ariella wasn’t bringing Lacie to another one of those sick trials since he didn’t want her to have to experience that, or watch as the mysterious voices taunted him. He also didn’t want to speak. He didn’t want to make his presence known, and he almost wished for Lacie to forget he was even there. She had already forgotten everything else anyway.

But Jack couldn’t stop his heart from speeding up whenever she would glance behind and look at him.

“Our house should be up ahead,” Ariella said in her best tour-guide voice.

Jack was almost too distracted by his thoughts to hear what she said and he did a double take. “Um…house?”

Ariella made an emphatic hand gesture to her surroundings. Jack looked up and saw that indeed, they were surrounded by houses. He had only been watching his feet this whole time and he didn’t realize that the scenery around them had changed. There were lots of houses, from decrepit and rotting shacks to pristine and perfect noblemen’s houses. They were all in the air, among other buildings, like shops and workplaces, all suspended in a surrealistic stasis. Some were falling apart, bricks and shingles and wood splints breaking off and floating around in the zero gravity. They tilted at odd angles, some looking as if they would crash to the ground but they didn’t, only remaining floating around in the strange Abyss air.

They looked sort of… _familiar_.

Jack didn’t want to believe what his thoughts were telling him, but his heart sped up anyway. And it was not because of Lacie.

“Ariella,” Jack said tentatively, using much effort to keep the shakiness and _fear_ out of his voice, “where are all these buildings from?”

Ariella didn’t look at him. “Sablier,” was all she said.

 Lacie could detect a hint of resentment— _or was it disappointment?_ —in her voice. She could also sense the apprehension coming off of Jack in waves and it chilled her to the core. She looked back and saw something in his eyes, such a deep spectrum of emotions—guilt, regret, sadness… Lacie couldn’t help but feel that there was something they were not telling her. Jack lowered his head, as if in shame, and his braid drooped limply in the murky air.

There was something so strange about him, Lacie thought, he just seemed so sad…

 

They continued walking through the remains of Sablier and Jack avoided looking at anything other than his own feet. Ariella didn’t speak and Lacie didn’t dare to either; she didn’t know what kind of tension there was with this place but she could feel how heavy it was. She instead decided to view the unsettlingly familiar scenery and she couldn’t help but feel like she knew these buildings. Had seen them before.

“Alright then, here we are!” Ariella said with as much cheer as she could muster. She gestured to a seemingly intact floating house and Lacie looked at it curiously. It was floating just above the ground, low enough for them to enter and stable enough for them to live in without tilting to the side. It was a modest home; definitely not previously belonging to a noble, but it was well kept and hadn’t been owned by someone hit hard by the times. It was almost cute, Lacie thought, but there was also something eerie about it. She couldn’t put her finger on exactly what it was that unnerved her.

Jack didn’t want to raise his head. It was as if all the thoughts plaguing his mind had made it too heavy to lift, but he heard the creak of the door and knew to keep moving.

“We’re going to be staying here for a little while, until we get your memories back,” Ariella said to Lacie, “we’ll be safe here.”

Jack finally looked up once he was inside the house and he saw nothing too out of the ordinary. It must have been a simple peasant’s home, of the middle class, not wealthy nor desolate. The living room was where he stood now; sparsely furnished with a two person couch, two chairs, and a pale green rug that lie underneath a coffee table. It had a fireplace which was still full of cold embers from the previous owners. There were two windows; one on the left and far sides of the room. The left side window had a window-seat covered by billowy white curtains that looked too much like ghosts and the far side window was broken. Jack could spot some broken glass underneath the windowsill, but it wasn’t from the window, he realized, as he walked over and picked up a broken picture frame.

It was a picture of a family—two girls with their arms around each other’s shoulders and a dad holding a small boy—and Jack felt his breath cut short. These were real people, he thought. They had lived here, they had grown up here and someone had raised these children here. They had laughed and smiled and sat together in this living room, warming themselves up by the fireplace after a cold snowy day.

And now they were dead.

Jack ran his thumb slowly over the shattered glass and felt it cut into his skin, but he didn’t feel pain. He felt the heat of flames and the stickiness of blood running in the streets and he heard the screams in his head. He was gripping the frame so hard now that his hands were shaking and the glass was splintering even more and it cut into his palms but he didn’t care.

Ariella snatched the picture frame away from Jack and held it close to her chest, with the picture facing inward. She saw drops of blood run down Jack’s hands as he cradled them to his chest and he looked at her with the most haunted expression, she had to look away.

“The _cias_ —they were supposed to clean this place up before we got here,” Ariella said apologetically.

Jack pressed his lips into a thin line and watched the blood drip from his hands and onto the floor. He was silent for a moment.

“I should go…” he held up his hands.

Ariella nodded solemnly. “Yea, go take care of that.”  

Jack, still cradling his bleeding hands to his chest, almost ran out of the living room. The worst part was when he had to pass Lacie in the kitchen, and he made the mistake of making eye contact with her. She looked so startled by him, and he wondered if she was afraid of him. He knew she had good reason to be.

After tediously picking out the tiny glass shards from his hands, Jack had found one of the bedrooms—the dad’s, probably—and claimed a seat on the windowsill. He let the white curtains envelop him as he laid his head on the glass and stared out at the murky gray sky. He knew he was brooding but he had done little else since he had arrived, and he didn’t really care. All he could think about was that photograph…he hadnt really considered the full reach of what he had done to the people of Sablier. He knew that they had all died at the hands of the Baskervilles, courtesy of Oswalds forced judgement call, but Jack hadnt ever thought that they all might’ve had _lives_. Those people were a family. They lived here and they died here.

Jack wondered if the dad had hid the children while he tried to fight off the Baskervilles, a futile attempt, but an attempt nonetheless. They had looked happy in that photograph. Those children had probably had a warm and loving childhood and Jack briefly wondered what that was like.

But this wasn’t about just him.

He wanted to slap himself in the face for always being so _selfish_. These people—and God knows how many more—had died because of him. This wasn’t just about him anymore, it was bigger than him and Lacie and this stupid love affair that he couldn’t seem to let go. He sighed dejectedly.

He heard a knock at the door and was half way through groaning at Ariella to go away when he looked over and Lacie was standing there at the doorway. Jack inwardly groaned at his stupidity and plastered a smile on his face.

“Good evening, Lacie,” he said.

Lacie stood awkwardly in the doorway, like one would when entering the house of someone they’ve just met. _Like she didn’t even know him._

“Hey, I saw you were bleeding down there…you alright?” she asked.

Jack held up his bandaged hands and smiled. “Nothing major. I’m fine,” he said.

Lacie didn’t look like she was buying the fake smile—even without her memories she could still read him like an open book—but she nodded at him and backed out of the room anyway. As soon as she was gone Jack let out a long sigh and put his head in his hands.

Lacie couldn’t concentrate on finding a room to sleep for the night and she wandered the halls aimlessly, thinking about Jack. He had obviously been faking being alright, and even if his hands were bandaged, she could tell his smile was fake from a mile away. And he had shown her such haunted eyes as he ran through the house with his bleeding hands. It frightened her, how empty he seemed, but she was also kind of excited. She did love a good mystery, and Jack was an enigma in its purest form.

 

_Jack steadied himself before the closed door to his mother’s bedroom. The tea mug trembled in his hands and he tried very hard not to slosh it onto the floor. She wouldn’t like that. He opened the door very slowly_ _and peeked in through the crack. The room was dark._

_“Mother?” Jack asked feebly, opening the door wider._

_“Oh, Jack!” his mother crooned. Jack peered through the darkness and saw her standing in front of her lousy jewelry table. She still hadn’t cleaned the blood from in between the cracks in the vanity mirror._

_Jack stepped fully into the dim room and closed the door slowly, careful not to make a sound. He walked closer to his mother warily, holding the tea mug out in front of him._

_“Oh, my darling son,” she said. She was in a good mood, Jack thought. That never lasted long._

_Jacks mother reached out to cup his cheek and he flinched. He held the mug of tea out to her._

_“Sweet child,” she said as she took it in one hand._

_The other hand was clutching a necklace. Jack knew what this meant, he had experienced this scene many times. Her pining over things long gone meant it was his cue to leave. His mother looked wistfully down at the necklace in her hand. It was all smudged and grimy from being held so many times and his mother was too caught up in her selfish dreams to clean it. She held it up to show Jack. He tried to slowly back away but she caught his wrist, and he had to suppress a whimper._

_“Your father gave me this, you know,” she said, with a faraway look in her eyes._

_Yes, Jack did know. She had told him that only about a thousand times before._

_He knew what came next._

_His mother yanked his arm to bring him closer to her._

_“If only he would come back…then I could get out of this filthy hovel and live in a beautiful mansion by a lake, and I would wear only the finest silks,” she looked at Jack, “and your father would buy me all the jewelry I could ever want…”_

_Jack nodded, gulping down his fear._

_“If only…” his mother whispered, “if only it wasn’t for you!”_

_She screeched and flung her tea at Jack, splashing his face with scalding water. He cried out and she slapped him hard._

_“You bastard! It was you! It was all you!” she screeched._

_“You’re the reason he hasn’t come back for me!”_

_She lunged at him with the necklace in her hands and wrapped it around his neck, pulling and gritting her teeth. Tears streamed down jacks face and his tiny hands went to his neck, struggling. He choked and coughed, gasping for air and genuinely believing he was going to die at the tender young age of eight._

_“You should have never been born!”_

_His mother screamed as the necklace broke, and Jack tumbled to the ground, his cheek hitting the splintery wood. He heard the tiny beads scatter like rain. The last thing he saw were little pearls in the water, blurred with tears, and then it was dark._

 

Jack awoke with a start, bolting upright in a sitting position as soon as he opened his eyes. He was breathing heavily and covered in a cold sweat that made his golden hair cling to his forehead and neck. He wiped at his eyes and tried to slow his breathing, and eventually he was brought back to reality.

_Just a dream…_

Jack looked up at the ceiling and ran his hands tiredly over his face. His breathing had slowed back to normal, but his mind whirred and his heart still beat too fast for him to even attempt getting back to sleep. This had been happening way too often lately. It had been a while since he had actually slept in a real bed and he had hoped that would’ve helped, but if anything, it made it worse. It was the house. It wasn’t his, he had no right to be there, in this place that was once someone’s home. He was living inside a giant memory, a reminder of his awful treachery. Jack sat up and rubbed his hands over his face. He drew in a deep breath when he realized there was no possible way he was getting back to sleep tonight.

Not wanting to be alone in the dark with his demons, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and readied himself to get up. He bent over and ran his hands through his hair. He had undone his braid before going to sleep so it flowed freely down his back and over his shoulders, and he took deep measured breaths before standing. He looked at the closet still full with slightly worn clothes and shook his head. He knew he needed new clothes at some point but he couldn’t bring himself to wear something belonging to a man he was responsible for the death of. Instead, he put on his own tattered shirt he had had since the beginning of this awful journey, stained with blood and dirt. At this point he didn’t really care. He didn’t bother with the jacket and all of his usual fineries; he figured no one would see him at this ungodly hour, or at least he hoped so. He didn’t want to have to look at Ariella trying to hide the disappointment that shone in her eyes. She might’ve had the _Ciasstolas_ clear the house of blood and bodies, but the memories remained. They had left that picture frame there on purpose, making it painfully clear the nature of the house. Fear stained the walls. Jack didn’t know how much more of it he could stand.

So he schlepped out the door in his wrinkled pants and tattered shirt, . He hadn’t even bothered to tie his hair back. He almost laughed at how much he just didn’t care anymore. He would have never been caught dead looking like this in his court life. He always had to remain the dashing gentleman, the sunshine prince, the beautiful _hero_ they expected him to be.

It was funny how some things that he used to care about so much, hardly even mattered anymore.

Jack stumbled blindly down the stairs, careful not to make too much noise but hardly paying attention to where he was going. When he reached the living room he leaned on the wall with one arm and the other covered his mouth as he yawned.

“Can’t sleep either?”

Jack was suddenly snapped into awareness and he looked ahead of him to find Lacie sitting on the pale green couch. The universe must love to play tricks on him because she was wearing a white nightgown that looked strikingly similar to the sundress she had been wearing the day they first met.

She smiled softly at him but her eyes took in his disheveled appearance with amusement. Jack had forgotten how he must have looked and suddenly felt very self-conscious, as well as embarrassed. He never expected to see Lacie when he made the decision to sit downstairs, and he had spent so much time without her that it was hard for him to realize that she was actually with him now. She was actually _there_ , and not some figment of his imagination conjured in the exotic, looping logic of dreams.

Jack immediately tried straightening his shirt and quickly buttoning up the top buttons (what a _fool_ he had been for leaving them half open!) and he was fumbling over words in an attempt to apologize to Lacie for having to see him like this and how he should have had more class, when he heard her _laughing_.

“Quite the gentleman, aren’t you?” she said mockingly, trying to hide her smile behind her hand but she couldn’t stop giggling. Her eyes glinted with tiredness but also mirth and mischievousness and Jack felt a pang in his heart because he had missed that so much.

And by God, she was _beautiful_.

Jack ceased in his frantic attempts to make himself presentable and without meaning to, he smiled back at her. She patted the cushion next to her and Jack took that as an invitation to sit down. She had a blanket draped over her knees and she spread it out to cover the both of them, and Jack sighed contently.

“Ah, no, I couldn’t sleep,” he said finally.

Lacie picked up a mug from the coffee table and sipped from it. “Did you have nightmares too?” she asked, staring into the dark liquid.

Jack flinched. He had not been expecting that question.

Lacie noticed. “Sorry…I was just curious. I kept dreaming of these faces of people I’ve never met, but I have met them, but I don’t know who they are…” Lacie shook her head, “I’m probably not making any sense at all, am I?” she said and looked at Jack.

Jack ran a hand through his hair. “I think it’s this house. It’s just so dark and empty…it doesn’t feel right.”

Lacie looked out the window, seeming to consider this while watching the twilight-blue hues of mist drift past the glass. She looked back to the mug in her hands and nodded. “What did you dream about?” 

Jack shook his head and pressed a hand to his forehead.

“Sorry,” Lacie said quietly.

“Don’t worry about it,” Jack said politely.

“I made tea,” Lacie said, holding up her mug.

Jack looked at her inquisitively. “We don’t need to eat in the Abyss.”

Lacie shrugged. “It’s nice though.” she looked down into the tea in her mug. “I remember someone making this for me when I was sad, but I don’t remember who.”

Jack smiled to himself. _Probably Oswald, always the doting big brother._

“I would love some,” Jack told Lacie.

Lacie set her own mug down and went into the kitchen to prepare one for Jack. She came back and handed it to him, as well as giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. Jack was sure his heart skipped a beat and he felt his cheeks grow hot. Lacie giggled seeing his cheeks flush and the tips of his ears go bright red.

“You’re quite innocent, aren’t you?” Lacie said mischievously. She clearly didn’t lose her personality along with her memories.

Suddenly Jack burst out laughing. He held his hand over his mouth to try and stem the flow of hilarious laughter but it was all just so _stupid_ , he couldn’t stop.

“I’ve been called a lot of things, but _that_ has never been one of them,” he said through fits of laughter.

Lacie felt the corners of her mouth twitch upwards as she watched the golden-haired man. She couldn’t tell why, but she felt a strange sense of deja-vu looking at him like this. It just now occurred to her that maybe he wasn’t just some random passerby that happened to stumble upon her and rescued her only out of kindness. Lacie wondered if she knew him, but he would have told her by now if he did, wouldn’t he? It made sense that she must have known him before because why else would he be working so hard to retrieve her memories. She saw the look in his eyes when he glanced at her when he thought she wasn’t looking. There was such longing in his eyes, so much love, but then she turned to look back at him and sadness flashed through his face and he looked away. Lacie wondered what her relationship to him might’ve been, or if she was just reading too much into it.

“Hey, Jack…” Lacie started, unsure how to begin. Jack’s laughter had died down but Lacie could still see the traces of mirth on his face.

“Did I know you…before?”

The smile fell and some unidentifiable emotion passed over his face. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked down at the mug in his hand. “Uh, yea, you were…a really good friend,” he said, giving her a half smile.

It wasn’t a lie, Lacie thought, but she could tell by the way he was acting that he was holding something back. She ached to know more but decided not to press too much into it, lest she scare him away. She didn’t want to do that. She liked Jack. It was fun to play with someone who displayed such vulnerability openly, like he wore his heart on his sleeve. He seemed to be keeping something from her, but Lacie knew that everyone had their secrets. She just didn’t remember what hers were.

“What was my life like?” Lacie questioned, “I barely remember the world I lived in.”

“You loved the world so much, for all its cruel and mysterious beauty. You always did what you wanted without regret, or without caring what others thought of you. When I met you, you were wearing nothing but a sundress in the middle of winter, dancing barefoot in the snow.” Jack smiled fondly at the memory. “You were quite the handful, which surely must have grated on your brother’s nerves,” he said with a crooked smile.

“I have a brother?” Lacie’s eyes shined with hope and excitement. She had a family!

Jack felt crushed seeing the smile on her face. She would never see her brother again, dear Oswald whom she loved so much, _and_ _who’s fault is it that he’s gone?_ Jack pushed away the bitter regrets and swallowed. He wasn’t ready to talk about Oswald. He had tried so hard not to think about him, but he kept coming back, haunting him even in death. What he did to him was Jack’s greatest regret.

“His name was Oswald,” Lacie didn’t miss the use of the word _was_ and her smile dimmed, “he was a very good man,” Jack continued, “he loved you more than anything in this world. He was an uptight, overprotective fellow, but he was gentle, kind, and loyal to a fault. He was so selfless and brave,” Jack’s voice almost cracked as he said the next line, “a true hero.”

Lacie saw the tremors in his hands, no matter how he tried to hide them. The tea in his mug rippled with the slightest movement and Lacie almost didn’t want to ask her next question, but she had to know.

“What happened to him?”

Jack’s mouth opened slightly and he looked nervously in the direction away from Lacie. He vigorously shook his head and placed his mug on the coffee table, throwing the blanket off himself and standing up. “We should try and get some sleep, Ariella and I are going to look for a way to get your memories back tomorrow.”

Lacie set her mug down and stood up too. “I’m coming with you.”

Jack stopped in his rushed departure and turned back to look at her. “It’s too dangerous for you out there.”

Lacie threw her arms down at her sides. “In case you’re forgetting, Ariella is a child! I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, memories or not.”

Jack almost smiled; Lacie certainly had not lost her fiery spark. “I have a lot of enemies out there, and there are these monsters called chains—“

Lacie put her hand on her hip and glared at him. “They’re _my_ memories.”

Jack sighed. “Alright, you can come with us,” he acquiesced.

Lacie’s ire faded immediately and she smiled brightly, clapping her hands together and jumping up once. “Yay!”

“Goodnight,” Jack said, turning away before she could see him smile. At the top of the stairs he was met with Ariella, leaning against the wall next to his bedroom door.

“You are so whipped.” She was smirking.

“Go to _sleep_ ,” Jack said sharply as he pushed her away. He heard her snickering all the way down the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, yay I finally got to post that scene with them talking during the night (one of my favorite scenes) I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it, all two of you.


	17. Love & Death

The next morning was uncomfortably silent. Jack and Lacie met each other in the living room with awkward smiles and pleasantries, but none of the depth they had had last night. Lacie kept thinking of her encounter with Jack— _why was he so distraught over Oswald?_ —and she was sure he was thinking of it too. He kept fumbling whenever she was near, like her presence distracted him. She really hoped to find her memories today so she could finally know her relationship to him, in truth. She didn’t want to ask him further questions because she knew she wasn’t going to get a straight answer. What a complicated and fickle man Jack was.

“Alright!” Ariella said, opening the front door, “who’s ready to go fight some _Ciasstolas_ and chains?”

Lacie’s eyes widened. “What are _Ciasstolas_ and chains?”

“Monsters,” Ariella nodded her head in Jack direction, “They don’t like him.”

Jack gave Ariella a sideways glance. “Let’s just assume for the moment, that besides you two, _everyone here doesn’t like me.”_

Lacie narrowed her eyes curiously. “What exactly did you do?”

Jack opened his mouth but closed it, and turned towards the door. “Long story,” he said, his voice short and clipped.

Lacie decided not to ask and instead followed the two out the door. They walked further through the Abyss and Lacie noticed that the ground was covered in some odd sort of black liquid, which was different from the place where she had woken up in. Jack noticed it too, since he refused to look up at the crumbling buildings—the remnants of his own destruction. He had seen a lot of the Abyss during his journey and it had always been stained an array of colors, but here, it was all gloom. The sky was a dull greyish-green hue, darker in some spots but otherwise monotonous. Jack had only ever seen this black liquid floor here in Sablier, and he didn’t know what to think about that.

 Lacie absentmindedly kicked her feet as she walked, splashing black liquid in her trace. The liquid went up to her ankles, yet it didn’t stick to her feet like a normal substance. It had the feel of viscous oil, yet it just slid off her skin like water. Everything about this place was strange, she mused.

Especially this noise she kept hearing, which she couldn’t quite identify but it sounded like a combination of both buzzing and clicking. It was a while after they left when she first started hearing it, and she didn’t pay it much attention since she thought it was just another weird quirk about this place, but she had been hearing it off and on for what seemed like more than a few hours and she began to grow worried.

“Do you hear that noise?” Lacie asked, turning back to face Ariella and Jack. She had been so distracted that she hadn’t noticed she wandered further ahead of the two.

“What noise?” Ariella asked, eyes narrowing.

“It sounds sort of like—“

“A chain?” Jack finished for Lacie.

Lacie tilted her head sideways. “We’re being followed by a chain?”

Jack raised his ear to the wind, listening for the aforementioned sound. He heard it, the gravelly voices of chains all combining together into a low, dull hum and the clicking of their spider-like legs as they walked. There were many of them, Jack figured.

“A lot more than one,” Jack said nonchalantly, although he felt the tinge of nervousness in his stomach remembering the last time he had faced a hoard of chains, in the poison tunnel with Ariella at the start of their journey. He didn’t want Lacie to have to face that, and he worried greatly about her safety. He knew she could take care of herself as well as anyone, but he had just gotten her back, and he didn’t want to lose her ever again. He would do everything in his power to protect her.  

“I’ll take care of them,” Jack said, already readying up the power of B-Rabbit. He could feel the red hot magic in his palms and he hoped it wouldn’t fail him now. He needed all the power he could get.

Lacie widened her eyes but said nothing, watching as Jack stepped in the direction of the ominous clamor. She noticed the emerging cardinal radiance surrounding his hands and was both frightened and intrigued at the same time.

Jack hoped he looked more confident than he felt, seeing as how B-Rabbits power had failed him before. He knew from previous experience that he couldn’t take on a whole hoard of chains, and from what he could tell from the din in the air, there were a lot of them. They were all hidden in the massive space littered with the remnants of Sablier, so he couldn’t be sure just how many there were, but he knew it was way too many for what little power he still had left. Still, he had to try. He curled his hands into fists and felt the magic pulse within them, barely noticing the red glow starting to appear.

“I know you’re there, come out and fight me, you cowards!” Jack yelled, trying to coax the chains out of hiding.

Ariella whispered to Lacie to get out of the way, and they ducked for cover behind a crumbling brick hovel. Lacie had so many questions about what Jack was doing—and what that red glow was—but she was too stunned to say anything. She studied Jack, who stood in the bleak space with a fierce expression on his face. Strangely enough, she wasn’t scared in the slightest. She might’ve wondered about what this meant for who she used to be if Ariella hadn’t grabbed her arm and practically dragged her away.

Garish laughter was heard, and a chain emerged from a dark window of a tenement house. “You’re one to talk of cowards, Hero of Sablier,” it snarled.

Jack set his jaw and shot out his arm, palm facing outward. The chain exploded in a shower of red light and black blood, raining down upon the decrepit huts. Jack grinned darkly and narrowed his eyes, waiting for the next victims to appear. Two more chains circled around the back of a building and snapped their razor sharp teeth at him. They flew through the air like it was water. They had no wings and looked like giant aubergine eels. They lunged at Jack and he sneered at them, sending bolts of red energy their way. The eel-chains diverged in two separate directions, effectively dodging the destructive power. Jack ground his back heel into the ground and shot at the chain nearest to him. It flew swiftly upward and B-rabbit’s power traveled all the way to an old brick building in the distance, sending bricks flying in every direction. Jack clenched his hands into fists and tried again, silently cursing that he was having to expend so much of his needed power.

One of the eel-chains got too confident and began circling around him, just within his grasp. He snatched the chain by its thin body and yanked it out of the air. His hands glowed fiercely with red energy and he incinerated the chain right in his palm. Dark ash floated slowly to the ground, disappearing in the undulating black waves without so much as a ripple.

The other eel-chain paid no heed to what had just happened to its twin and it lunged headlong at Jack. He spun around and shot B-rabbits power right into the open, gaping maw of the giant beast. The power traveled up its spineless form and exploded it from the inside. Jack was showered with a burst of slimy black blood and he closed his eyes as he felt the barrage of tiny droplets pelt his skin.

He smiled madly with his eyes still closed, spreading his arms out wide. “Anyone else?” he shouted into the darkness. This power he possessed gave him a terrible audacity, as he really should have opened his eyes lest the chains take this as an opportunity to strike him while he was blind, but he couldn’t help himself. He was excited, _invigorated_. He felt like he had so much power coursing through his veins, just thrumming with anger and energy that he felt that could do anything he wanted.

He heard a chain hiss closely behind him, “how about me?”

Jack spun around to face four spindly, mauve legs. He was only at about eye level with its knees and he slowly looked up to see its ginormous head staring down at him. Jack wasn’t afraid. Yes, it might’ve been big, but it was no match for b rabbit’s power. Especially since the big ones were always slow, there would be no more games like with the two eels.

Jack drew his hand back and readied his shot, but he couldn’t sense the familiar heat of his chains power anymore. He clenched his jaw but outwardly remained unfazed, still staring just as confidently at the chain. _Come on, don’t fail me now, blasted chain_ , Jack thought as he took his shot at the chain. Nothing happened.

The chain grinned, eerily splitting down the center of its bulbous head and revealing rows of sharp teeth. “Now it’s our turn.”

More laughter.

“Let’s get him! Let’s eat him let’s eat him I want him I want him let’s get him lets ehehehehehehehehe~!” Jack heard, from multiple voices in unknown places. Jack knew there were more, he just didn’t know how many. And without b rabbits power to destroy them—well, Jack might have been more than a little nervous. (Not that he would admit that to anybody). 

Jack looked behind him and saw no sign of Lacie or Ariella— _good, they were safe_ —before he turned back around to face the chains.

It was only a split second before they were upon him.

 

Lacie and Ariella moved slowly as they were trying to be as silent as possible. when Ariella had dragged Lacie away from their previous hiding spot, she had almost protested in favor of staying where she could see Jack. But Ariella had suggested that Jack wouldn’t have wanted her in harms way—she seemed to really emphasize that point—and so she had finally broken down. Plus, it didn’t help that Ariella had practically dragged her away as she wouldn’t let go of her arm until they were forced to crawl on their knees. They needed somewhere safe where they could wait for Jack to take care of the chain issue, although Lacie worried about Jack fighting those monsters on his own. Ariella had told her that he would be fine, but she kept glancing into the distance with a nervous look in her eyes and Lacie knew that she was just trying to reassure her, and herself as well. Lacie didn’t question it and they continued their search for a reasonably safe hideout.

Lacie had seen that red glow around his hands and the wild look in his eyes, and it just added to the mystery of what Jack was all about. There had to be one hell of a story there for them to end up like this.

Lacie had suggested something with a roof, since their previous hideout was nothing more than a decrepit pile of bricks, and that wouldn’t keep them out of view of the airborne chains. Lacie felt dizzy as she moved, the sounds— _the screams_ —reverberated in her ears and it made her feel sick. She wished she could have done something to help Jack—why hadn’t he just come with them? Ariella put her hand on Lacie’s shoulder as they crawled side by side, on their hands and knees through the oily black, into a dimly lit wooden shack.

The stench of blood and decay hit Lacie hard like a slap in the face as soon as she entered. She couldn’t see much in the shack except a grotesque splash of dried blood all across the far wall. Lacie didn’t want to think about how it got there. She crawled to the only place where light filtered in through a crack in the wood, and leaned her head against the wall. She sighed exhaustedly. The air was stale and warm, and no doubt polluted with dust, and Lacie had to choke down a cough.

Oh God, she could still hear him out there…

Lacie peered through the darkness and saw Ariella hugging her knees to her chest, sitting on the wall next to Lacie. She looked as queasy as Lacie was, as well as frightened and distraught. All very understandable, given the current situation. She was muttering something to herself, and Lacie tried to focus on her seemingly incoherent babbling instead of the outside noise. Anything was better than that.

“this wasn’t supposed to happen I didn’t mean for this to happen I didn’t know they never told me they didn’t tell me they were going to do this oh my god oh my god oh my god I didn’t want this to happen I didn’t think this would happen,” Ariella mumbled, fast as a madwoman.

Lacie didn’t know what she possibly could have meant, but she looked distraught as ever. She looked away from Ariella and through the crack in the wall again. Piles of bricks and debris obscured her view of Jack and she was kind of glad for that. She didn’t quite want to see what those horrid monsters were doing to him. She could still hear him; his voice had gone hoarse from screaming. She looked back at Ariella.

It was unnerving to see her like this, Lacie thought. In the time she had been awake, Ariella had always been the calm one, the reasonable one.

_A strange thing to be, for a child._

“We need to do something,” Lacie whispered. Ariella ceased her mumbling.

“Do what?” Ariella whispered back, her eyes searching Lacie through the darkness.

“Save him,” Lacie answered.

Ariella knew she didn’t have time to consider those words. Jack was being _tortured_ out there, and there she was, hiding in a shack. She couldn’t just sit back in comfortable safety and wait for the screaming to stop. No matter what Jack did in Sablier, he was a human being. Even if the _Ciasstolas_ believed he deserved this, she still couldn’t stand for it. The _Ciasstolas_ hadn’t even told her that they were going to do this. Hell, they had been doing this kind of thing since this whole mission had started. And Ariella had done nothing to stop it.

She wasn’t afraid of chains. She was afraid of the _Ciasstolas_ , and of the volatile Will of the Abyss. That’s why she had gone along with everything up until now. If it were up to her, she wouldn’t have ever made Jack suffer so much. Every time the _Ciasstolas_ hurt him, Ariella had wanted to interfere; she hadn’t wanted to knowingly lead him into torment. She had tried to comfort him as much as she could, but interfering with the trials was forbidden. The _Ciasstolas_ were suspicious enough already, from the moment Ariella was appointed the position of leading Jack. But every time she showed a little humanity, she risked incurring their ire, and being labeled a traitor.

Ariella knew very well that if she went through with saving Jack, she would be outright betraying the _Ciasstolas_. And that, Ariella knew, might mean her death. Or worse, her transformation into a mindless chain.

The only reason she had ever joined the _Ciasstolas_ in the first place was to avoid that. She didn’t want to be a monster, she didn’t want to kill or to hurt; she just wanted to _live_. In the Abyss, it was either die, or become a chain. She would do anything not to have to suffer that fate. The _Ciasstolas_ were granted the power to remain human, as long as they completed their task. To many of the Abyss’s new residents, the power to exact revenge on Jack in exchange for remaining human was a win-win.

At first, Ariella was angry that Jack had stolen her life away. She cursed that he had sent her to this wretched place to be turned into a chain. Then she was granted the ability to stay human by joining the _Ciasstolas_ , and she learned she would see Jack again. She was so surprised by what he had become, it frightened her. He was so broken and scarred and angry, and she once asked herself if he really could still be saved.

One night, she couldn’t sleep and was left to wander the _Ciasstolas’_ gazebo alone in the pale moonlight. She had used the looking glass, out of sheer lack of things to do, and she had seen Jack asleep on the colorful Abyss floor. He wasn’t smiling madly or laughing as chains ran from just the sight of him, he was curled up in a ball with a pained expression on his face. Ariella watched him for a while. Just as she was about to go back to sleep, Jack bolted upright, screaming. Tears slid down his face as he pulled his knees to his chest and whispered so softly she could barely hear, “I’m sorry.” Ariella looked at him then, really looked at him. He seemed so... _human_ , in that moment.

She remembered how he used to be when they were all still alive and Sablier still saw the light of day. He was an absolute mess. An unsteady wreck. A broken, unhinged, complicated man. But he was _human_. He wasn’t a monster. He wasn’t some vicious creature that lurked in the night, a shadow in dark corners. He was _guilty_. And that meant that he could be saved. 

Looking back, that was the moment Ariella decided to help him.

The next day the _Ciasstolas_ argued over who got saddled with the job of leading Jack to the trials. Someone had to do it, Jack couldn’t find them on his own. But this job required actually spending time with Jack, and being at least somewhat kind to him, getting him to trust so that he would follow accordingly. And none of the _Ciasstolas_ wanted to do that.

They wanted to kill him.

They screamed at each other, Ariella remembered. A fight almost broke out among them, until Mattrich stepped in.

“Daaaaahlings, please, there must be a way to resolve this. A draw of a hat, perhaps? Oh, why not just stick Liena with it?” she said in her filthy drawling accent.

“Hey!” Liena snapped. Her and Dietry had gotten into an argument after that.

“I’ll do it,” Ariella said, stepping into the circle of clustered white cloaks. Liena and Dietry stopped fighting to look incredulously at her. She cast a disdainful glance back at them.

Mattrich’s gaze snapped to Ariella and the corners of her mouth quirked upward with intrigue.  “You volunteer?” she asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Ariella nodded.

“How nice of you, Elizabeth.”

“I’ll have to make a few adjustments though,” Ariella said.

After that, she had told Mattrich only that she had known Jack in Sablier. The _majstarѐ_ was doubly intrigued, but Ariella kept it vague. Mattrich didn’t need to know. They had arranged for the Will of the Abyss to de-age her so that she wouldn’t be recognized by Jack, and that was that. Mattrich, of course, had to smirk knowingly every time someone asked Ariella why she had chosen to be Jack's “babysitter” but it was only suspicion. It only became worrisome when she started helping him, comforting him. Because why would anyone want to help someone as corrupted as him? The _Ciasstolas_ wanted revenge but Ariella couldn’t find it in herself to torment him like the others.

But if she helped him escape now, she would be betraying the _Ciasstolas_. Ariella knew it was going to happen one way or another. She couldn’t keep switching sides, wavering between the _Ciasstolas_ and Jack. She needed to pick one, and she wasn’t about to give up Jack. Betraying the _Ciasstolas_ would violate the Will of the Abyss’s plan, and Ariella would lose her humanity.  She knew what she was getting herself into when she made her decision, but she wasn’t going to be afraid any longer. She took a deep breath to calm herself, and she looked over at Lacie.

“I have a plan.”

 

Lacie and Ariella discussed what they were going to do, and how the two of them would manage to break into a giant swarm of angry chains. Ariella told Lacie about her powers, but they were limited since they were granted to her by the Will of the Abyss. She said she could get them into the cloud, but she didn’t know if she would have enough power to last them when they were getting Jack _out_. Ariella couldn’t hold up the shield and teleport the three of them at the same time, and while the chains wouldn’t attack her since she was a member of the Ciasstolas, she didn’t know how they would react to Lacie. And Ariella knew that Jack wouldn’t want to put Lacie in danger.

When Ariella told Lacie about why the teleportation idea wouldn’t work, Lacie rolled her eyes. “I am not as fragile as Jack thinks I am.”

“Jack doesn’t think you’re fragile at all,” Ariella quickly stated.

Lacie raised an eyebrow, resisting a grin. This could be her chance to weasel some information about Jack out of Ariella.

“Oh? What does Jack think of me, then?”

Ariella sighed, thinking of all the times Jack had spoken about Lacie like she was some kind of goddess. “We need to focus.”

Lacie nodded, a little disappointed that Ariella caught on, but she knew they didn’t have time to waste. Jack’s screams were less frequent, and more so raspy whimpers than screams. Lacie momentarily felt bad about wanting to squeeze information out of Ariella while Jack was out there in anguish, but she pushed it aside.

“Use your magic to make a shield, and I’ll get Jack so you can concentrate,” Lacie said.

“You sure?” Ariella asked. Lacie nodded. “Let’s go.”

They crawled out of their hide-away-hovel and stood up straight. Ariella got her magic ready, shaking out her hands and feeling the familiar tingling sensation in her fingertips. The two girls nodded to each other before stepping out from behind the debris and into the line of sight of the chains. Luckily, most were too distracted by Jack to pay them any heed, and Ariella was able to conjure up a magic shield. It resembled a luminescent orange bubble, and Lacie could feel it radiating powerful energy. As they walked forward, it followed them. Ariella kept her hands raised in the air, concentration evident on her face. Lacie turned her attention away from her and to the swarm of chains in front of them. They were hideous monsters, but strangely enough, Lacie wasn’t afraid. Well she _was_ , but not for herself. All she could think about was Jack. She couldn’t see him, but she could hear him. He was alive, for now. How long that would last, Lacie didn’t know.

It was probably just the fear making her head go crazy, Lacie reasoned, but she was thinking so much about Jack. She felt connected to him in a way. She cared for him, even though she had only just met him the day before.

Or had she?

Jack said they had been friends, so she must have known him for at least enough time to care about what happened to him. Even with amnesia, Lacie knew that no one deserved what was happening to Jack. That any normal person would be concerned about someone in this situation, regardless of how well they knew them. But what she was feeling right now, _oh_ , it was far more than concern.

Lacie’s heart pounded as they stepped into the mass of chains. She could feel their eyes—or eye _holes_ —on her as they passed, but she kept her gaze forward. The chains couldn’t touch them because of the shield, but Lacie could see them slamming their bodies against the orange luminescence trying to break in. The chains parted in front of them as Ariella’s shield held up, but Lacie couldn’t yet see Jack amongst the mess. There were simply too many chains surrounding them, obscuring their field of vision with their legs and wings and grotesque shapes.

Lacie listened for Jack so she could try to navigate him by following his sound, but all she heard was a scream cut short, and then silence.

Lacie’s mind frantically worried that he was dead. That they were too late. She broke into a run, with Ariella struggling to follow her and keep the shield up at the same time.

“Jack!” Lacie called. “Jack!”

She got to a denser cluster of chains, all swarming around something. Lacie figured that it must be Jack and she started to break through the gathering.

“Jack!”

Lacie’s hand went to her mouth and she gasped in shock when she saw him. She didn’t even recognize him anymore. Bloody gashes marred his face, such as a particularly large gash striking across his lips and rendering them cruelly misshapen. His eyes were screwed shut and his teeth were gritted in pain. His once golden hair was stained crimson and wet. His jacket was torn to shreds and his chest was in _tatters_ , and, oh god, she could see _bone_. How was he even still alive? A chain was latched to his leg and one was gnawing on his arm and he was so _still_. Lacie felt bile rise in her throat and for a second she couldn’t move. She had to do _something_ , but with this damage she knew the horrifying reality that they were not getting Jack out of there. Lacie wasted no time in running up to Jack and falling to her knees beside him. Ariella encased him in the shield to ward off the chains and Lacie’s hand hovered over his chest.

There was so much blood, she didn’t know what to do.

Jack must have noticed the sudden lack of chains and he coughed wetly. His eyes fluttered and he tried to move, but Lacie gently pushed on his shoulder to steady him. She held his head in her lap and brushed some blood-soaked hair out of his face. His half-lidded eyes tried to focus on her.

“la-cie?” he said wetly, struggling to get the words out.

Lacie nodded, tears stinging her eyes.

“You asked me…what I was…to you,” Jack said between broken breaths. He coughed, and blood dribbled from his mouth down his chin.

Lacie put her finger on his lips. “Shh, don’t speak.” She quickly wiped a tear from her face.

Jack tried to manage a smile and reached shakily up to cup her cheek. Lacie could feel the stickiness of blood on her face when he touched her. 

“I love you,” he said, and his hand slid from her face.

Lacie heard shattering.

The smoky orange light disappeared from around her, and chains circled over her head. Ariella was saying something, but Lacie couldn’t hear her. She just kept looking at Jack, with his eyes closed and his head laid back in her hands. And then she wasn’t.

The chains dived and scooped Jack up in their gaping maw before Lacie even had time to react. His words still reverberated in her ears.

_I love you._

And he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I was waiting to post that scene! Ah yes, I do so love the dramatic love/death scenes (and I was looking forward to crushing all of the feels)


	18. Forgiveness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You didn't really think I would kill off poor Jack, did you? No, but after all that physical whumping, I figured it was time for something emotional (ehehe) this is also one of my favorite scenes even though I've said that like three times already oops

Jack couldn’t move, couldn’t even think, and all his existence was, was pain. Excruciating, gut-wrenching pain. It was all he knew until he could feel her soft presence there with him, which made everything bearable again. His eyes remained closed after he spoke what very well could have been his last words. He was glad they were to Lacie, however clichéd it sounded. He was happy that she had been with him, held him one last time. He was content. It was a strange, foreign feeling, this sense of peace. But he accepted it all the same.

Everything just seemed to slip away, here in this darkness. Jack knew he would never be accepted in through the pearly gates, not with what he’d done, but he wasn’t scared. He simply didn’t care anymore. All the pain, the loneliness, the bitterness and anger and sadness and regret and everything else just vanished. It didn’t matter anymore. He had found Lacie, and told her he loved her, and now the world would be free of him at last.

His death was the greatest gift he could offer.

Jack sighed breathlessly and he felt like he was floating on air. He wondered if this was what it was like to die, to be surrounded by nothingness on all sides and be weightless and immobile and blind. When he thought about it, it sounded frightening. But he wasn’t afraid. He welcomed death with open arms, and there was no remorse left in him. He was so very tired, and he didn’t try to fight the reaper like many other men might have. Nobler men than he would have tried, but Jack was finally at peace. And he was too much of a coward to give it up.

He felt something wrap around his chest and suddenly there was no more pain. All his wounds simply vanished, and Jack felt free. Something tickled his cheek and Jack mumbled, still unable to see. He slightly opened his eyes but everything was so blurry, all he saw was a flash of white.

Clouds?

No. That wasn’t possible.

White hair.

_White hair._

“You’re not dead, Jack, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

Well if he wasn’t now, he was soon going to be.

All the peace he had felt was instantaneously replaced by fear. Jack drew in a sharp intake of breath and opened his eyes further, to see that he was in a room with no doors or windows and filled with dolls. White hair flowed almost weightlessly around him and Jack suddenly knew what was wrapped around his chest.

The Will of the Abyss was behind him, and he was ensnared in her grasp. Jack could feel her hot breath on his cheeks. He couldn’t see her, but he imagined her with that same unhinged expression she wore when angered. His breathing quickened and he had to put more effort than he wanted to into calming it down so that she didn’t notice.

“Alyss,” Jack choked out.  

“Hello Jack, I’ve been waiting for you,” the Will of the Abyss said in a disturbingly calm tone.

Jack hoped she couldn’t feel his heart pounding.

“Don’t be afraid, I won’t hurt you,” Alyss said, gently stroking his cheek with the back of her hand.

Her hand trembled just so, and Jack couldn’t be sure whether she was sad to see him again or about to snap. He took shaky breaths. He couldn’t speak, couldn’t move, he was too frozen in terror.

“You need to find the memories,” Alyss whispered in his ear. She pushed him away and he tumbled through the anti-gravity air of the Core. “Until we meet again, old friend,” Alyss said before disappearing.

As if all the lights were turned off at the same time, the dimension was submerged in darkness. All Jack could see was black, and then, nothing.

 

Jack awoke with a loud gasp, breathing heavily. He was sprawled out on the tile floors and it took a moment for him to re-orientate himself since he was still dizzy. The Will of the Abyss must have sent him through some sort of portal after he had met her and Jack wondered why she hadn’t killed him on the spot. She even healed all the wounds sustained from the chain attack. Perhaps she wanted to drag his suffering out as much as possible, but he wasn’t exactly complaining. He was given the chance to retrieve Lacie’s memories—that’s what Alyss had said, at least—so he didn’t want to squander that chance. Whatever hellish trial was waiting for him, he would be ready to face it all for Lacie. Jack sighed and sat up, rubbing his eyes and gazing absentmindedly out the window.

Wait— _window_?

Jack looked around and was suddenly filled with an undeniable fear.

This was the same room he had fought— _killed_ —Oswald in.

The murky smoke outside the windows told him he was still in the Abyss, only inside of a replica of the room from the Baskerville mansion. Jack wondered why he was here in the first place. Another question plaguing his mind, one he didn’t want to acknowledge, was that if he was here in this room, was Oswald here to?

Jack tried to ignore the knot forming in his stomach as he stood up and turned around. Sure enough, standing in the exact spot Jack last saw him in when they first engaged in their battle, was Oswald.

He was whole, and wearing his usual red robes, and his back was turned. Jack didn’t think he would have to ever see Oswald again and he thought all that was behind him. He thought the recurring thought of _you’ve made a mistake_ and that ever-present guilt he couldn’t shake was all that was left of the raven-haired man he had once called his best friend. Seeing him was like a punch to the gut. Quite frankly, he would have rather faced another hoard of chains than face what he’d done to Oswald. This whole bloody journey had gotten him rather well acquainted with the aftermath of his treachery, but this was one thing he really couldn’t do. He was a coward. A selfish, terrible coward who didn’t want to acknowledge what he’d done to his best friend.

 If Jack was being completely honest with himself, he was terrified. He didn’t want to see Oswald, and he was certain Oswald wouldn’t be pleased to see _him_. Jack didn’t want to see the look in Oswald’s eyes at the sight of him—would it be hatred? Disgust? Contempt?—Jack figured it would be all three, and a million more. Jack knew he deserved whatever he got— _Oswald was a good man, and look what you’ve done to him_ —but he didn’t want to know how Oswald would react to him, because he was a coward and he didn’t want to see how angry and hurt Oswald would be.

Jack’s heart pounded as he took a step forward. He stayed there for a few seconds, as if he thought Oswald would detect his presence just by mere movement. Although, being in the Abyss, Jack was sure Oswald already knew he was here. Jack tried to steady his rapidly beating heart and he took a few more steps forward.

“O-Oswald?” Jack said, trying and failing to conceal the shiver of his words.

Oswald flinched at the sound of his voice but didn’t turn around.

“…it’s me, Jack,” Jack said awkwardly, acutely aware of the silence in the room.

Oswald continued to ignore him.

Jack looked down and rocked back and forth between the ball of his foot and the heel. “So…” he stuffed his hands in his pockets, “I guess you’re the one with Lacie’s memories, correct? Makes sense…that it would be you,” Jack looked out the window and back down at the floor, “since you are her brother, after all.”

Jack rubbed the back of his neck and started observing the strands of hair on his braid. “I found Lacie,” he said, hoping to get a reaction from Oswald. _Something_.

Oswald didn’t move.

“She’s well…physically,” Jack didn’t realize he had been wringing his hands and he shoved them back in his jacket pockets, “but she doesn’t remember m—,” he stopped himself from saying _me_ , “she doesn’t remember anything.”

Jack fidgeted with the collar of his jacket. “I was wondering…if you—would you, please, um…” it didn’t feel right to ask Oswald to do him a favor.

Jack had expected another fight with the _Ciasstolas_ , or chains, something loud and violent and chaotic—not this deafening silence. He couldn’t stand it.

“Can I have Lacie’s memories back?” Jack asked nervously.

Oswald turned his head to give Jack a sideways glare and then he turned back around. Jack almost gasped at the emptiness in his eyes; it shook him to the core because he recognized that emptiness. That was the same look that had been in his eyes all his years at court, all his _life_ , and he would never wish that kind of pain on Oswald.

_No no no don’t be like me I don’t want that for you don’t end up like me I don’t want you to feel like that don’t please don’t_

“O-Oswald?” Jack croaked.

“Oswald, I-I’m sorry…I’m so, so sorry,” his voice shook, and he didn’t try to hide it.

Oswald scoffed quietly, but Jack noticed and his heart stung a little.

“I’m really, really sorry…for what I did to you, I’m so sorry, I really am,” Jack took a few more steps forward and Oswald visibly tensed.

“Oswald…please look at me,” Jack was practically begging, “please.”

There was a pregnant pause before Oswald obliged and turned around to face Jack. Jack almost withered under Oswald’s cold and stony expression, with eyes glaring with such hatred that Jack suddenly felt very small.

“I-I know that _sorry_ can never make up for what I did to you, but…um, you don’t…you don’t have to forgive me,” Jack said, stumbling over his words. He used to be so good with words, what happened?

Oswald tilted his head back and looked down his nose at Jack. It wasn’t as much arrogant as it was _disbelieving_.

“I’m not lying to you, Oswald,” Jack said.

“That’s a first,” Oswald muttered under his breath.

Jack’s eyes momentarily brightened at the reaction, despite it being an insult. _Oswald had spoken to him!_ Jack took a step forward, and he could see Oswald wanted to step away but didn’t want to give Jack that kind of power.

“You have to know…I never wanted you to get hurt,” Jack said.

“Then why did you bloody kill me,” Oswald muttered bitterly. Jack could see his jaw was clenched and his hands were balled into fists; he was trying very hard not to lash out. Jack almost wished he would.

“I-I…” Jack couldn’t think of a good answer.

Oswald grinned bitterly and laughed darkly. “You plotted to _destroy_ me, Jack Vessalius,” he spit the name out like it was vile on his tongue.

“No! I…” Jack couldn’t speak.

“You plotted to destroy the whole city! I had to give the order to the Baskerville’s to kill _everybody_! Do you even know what kind of choice that is? I KILLED THEM! ALL OF THEM! I had to see the world _burn_ and it was _ALL BECAUSE OF YOU_!” Oswald’s voice grew louder and more hysterical with each word, until he was outright screaming.

Jack almost wanted to back away—Oswald was scaring him. This wasn’t how he remembered his friend, the perpetually stoic and aloof Oswald who was always kind and gentle and a bit of a dork, who he laughed with, whom he had loved like a brother. Not this hollow personification of Oswald, this screaming, livid man who looked every bit as broken by the world as Jack was himself.

“You were my _friend_ Jack! I loved you! I trusted you! I knew I shouldn’t have. Against every bit of my better judgement, I trusted that you were good. I _wanted_ you to be good. I should have struck you down the moment I saw you, I just wanted to believe that you weren’t so _hollow_. If I had killed you sooner then maybe I could have stopped all this and I—“

The expression on Jack’s face was enough of an indication to Oswald for him to realize what he had just said. He abruptly cut himself off and turned away from Jack, running his hand roughly through his hair.

Jack’s heart plummeted. This was so, so much worse than anything he could have ever experienced with chains or the _Ciasstolas_. He hadn’t wanted for this to happen, he never wanted this to happen—

Oswald blamed _himself_ for the tragedy of Sablier.

Jack shook his head, and his vision swam.  

_No no no no please don’t please don’t please don’t it’s my fault my fault mine not yours I did this please don’t_

Jack was crushed.

He looked up to Oswald. He was always the better man than Jack could ever even hope to be, and Jack admired him. Oswald was everything Jack was not; he was brave, selfless, and kind, and Jack would never wish this kind of pain upon him.

Jack knew the grief, the regret that continued to plague his mind, and he wouldn’t wish that upon anyone. Never on his best friend. Not Oswald. Not the one who had tried to _save_ him, who saved the world. This was _his_ mess, not Oswald’s. He shouldn’t have to bear the burden of something that wasn’t his fault.

But he _did_ think it was his fault.

“Oswald,” Jack said weakly, “do you—do you blame yourself for what happened?”

Oswald flinched but said nothing. Jack knew the answer without even needing to hear the words, and he was devastated. He never wanted this for Oswald.

He had never wanted to hurt Oswald, but he was stupid and foolish and selfish and Oswald got in his way and Jack just couldn’t have that happening—not when he was so close to Lacie. In his obsession with finding Lacie again—he claimed it was for her happiness but Jack knew he was lying to himself to make himself feel better, it was never for her sake, it was for _his_ —he had forgotten the friendship and love he found with Oswald. He had forgotten that Oswald had loved her too, and was forced to kill her. Jack didn’t even spare a single thought of how Oswald might have felt when he had had to do that—what terrible guilt. Jack knew _that_ feeling all too well. He deserved it, but Oswald most certainly didn’t.

What a hard day it was for Jack when he realized other people had feelings.

He had only cared about Lacie, he had needed so desperately to see her again. She was what had sustained him, grounded him from disappearing into mist and floating away on the breeze, un-missed and un-remembered. He needed her to feel alive. But Oswald, poor Oswald, was left to kill his own sister—whom Jack knew he loved dearly—and was also betrayed by his best friend. Jack was just now beginning to realize the grief he must have felt, dealing with all that on top of saving Sablier and the guilt of being forced to take so many lives.

And he blamed himself for it.

Jack felt as if someone had ripped his heart out of his chest and stomped on it, and he almost wished they would. He deserved it.

Why had he done all this to his best friend?

What kind of _monster_ does that sort of thing?

Jack realized he was breathing heavily and he tugged on his braid—maybe a little too roughly—to bring himself back to reality. He had to fix this, no matter what, _he had to fix this_. It wasn’t about forgiveness, and he had all but forgotten about retrieving the memories—this wasn’t about selfish gain anymore. This was about doing right by his friend, and fixing at least one of his past mistakes. He just didn’t want Oswald to suffer like this anymore.

“Oswald?” Jack asked. “Oswald look at me.”

Oswald didn’t turn around.

“Dammit Oswald look at me!” Jack shouted. Oswald flinched and his fists clenched tighter around his robes but he slowly turned to face Jack.

“This wasn’t your fault. Oswald, please believe me, this wasn’t your fault,” Jack said, barely in control of his thoughts or words anymore.

Jack stepped closer to the raven-haired man and his eyes narrowed, but Jack continued.

“Don’t ever think that this was your fault. I caused the tragedy, Sablier’s blood is on my hands! I forced you into that situation, you had no choice but to do what you did. You had no choice, Oswald. You had no choice.”

“I always…” Oswald said, paused for a second, then continued, “I always thought about what would have happened had I not been so _stupidly_ loyal, had I not killed Lacie that day. I could have let her run away with you, and you wouldn’t have been so angry…or I could have killed you when I first suspected you were… _empty_.” Oswald said, not looking at Jack.

“Oswald.” Jack said, his voice thick with emotion. “It is not your fault. It was out of your hands. You were not stupidly loyal, I wish I could’ve been at least half as loyal as you. If I was, maybe I wouldn’t have gotten you into this mess. If you had let Lacie run away with me, who knows what could have happened. I might have been happy with her, but there’s always the chance she would have died anyway, with her being a child of misfortune. If you had killed me before I formed my contract with B-Rabbit…” Jack paused, considering his words, “it’s not your fault. It was my decision to destroy the city, and you are not at fault in any way. Don’t do this to yourself because of the selfish wishes of some lowly coward.”

Jack took one more step towards Oswald and kneeled before him. He heard Oswald make a small noise of surprise, probably never expecting to see Jack deign to bow to him.

“You are truly amazing, my friend. You are everything I wished I could be, and I—I looked up to you. You meant a lot to me. You were really one of my first friends that I could trust and that accepted me as I was, without the need for masks and facades. You—I—“ Jack didn’t even know what he was saying anymore, the words just kept pouring out of him after all this time. He kept his gaze to the floor the whole time, with only Oswald’s boots in his line of vision, so he couldn’t see what Oswald’s reaction was. Jack didn’t care if he believed him or not, he just needed him to hear this. It was long overdue, even if he was rambling at this point.

“What I’m trying to say is…” Jack’s eyes glistened with emotion, “thank you.”

He saw tiny glittering tears fall to the ground and he didn’t care what he must have looked like. He needed to say this, and he couldn’t stop.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” Jack was breathing heavily and tears steadily trailed down his face. His hands shook but he kept on repeating his _thank you’s_ until he was interrupted.

“Get up, you idiot,” Oswald said, less harshly than before.

Jack sniffled and raised his head, seeing Oswald extend a hand towards him. His eyes were softer now, much more like the Oswald he once knew.

Jack opened his mouth, but he found he was drained of words. He was surprised by Oswald’s actions, but he placed his hand into his anyway. Oswald pulled Jack up to his feet and Jack was surprised yet again when Oswald pulled him into a hug.

Jack let all of his fears go, just for a moment, and he nestled his head on Oswald’s shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he whispered against his hair.

“I know,” Oswald said.

When Jack finally stepped back from the raven-haired man he wiped his face with his coat sleeves.

“You don’t have to forgive me,” Jack said, “I just want you to find peace. You deserve it, after everything.”

The corners of Oswald’s mouth twitched up in a slight smile and Jack felt his spirits lift. At least he could make one thing right.

“You’re right, I do feel…lighter, somehow,” Oswald said.

Jack smiled at him. “I have a long way to go before I can achieve that,” he said, but without his usual despondency. He noticed it sounded almost like _hope_.

Oswald gripped Jack’s shoulder affectionately. “You are not as worthless as you may think, Jack Vessalius,” he said, and this time he didn’t spit out Jack’s name like it was poison.

Jack took a long, shaky breath and Oswald reached into his coat pocket. He retrieved a small round gem, and held it out to Jack, who stood there, confused.

“You did come here looking for Lacie’s memories, right?” Oswald said humorously.

Jack had completely forgotten that that was the reason he was there in the first place. He laughed, wearing the foolish expression he was most known for by Oswald and Lacie. Oswald chuckled too, and Jack was hit by a pang of nostalgia. Just like old times, Jack would do something stupid and Oswald and Lacie would laugh and he would laugh with them. Jack suppressed a sigh at the memory, but it left a trace of a smile on his face.

He nodded.

Jack took the green orb from Oswald and observed it, turning it over with his fingers. It looked like a dark, swirly jade marble. He remembered the ring that he had put on Lacie’s finger to wake her up, and how it was missing its gem. Jack knew what he had to do now. It all made sense.

“As you’ve probably figured out, you put that in Lacie’s ring and it will restore her memories,” Oswald said, and Jack smiled as he held the gem up to the light streaming in through the window.

“But be warned, Jack, those memories come with a price,” Oswald continued. Jack lowered the gem and stared intently at Oswald, awaiting his further explanation.

“If you give Lacie back her memories, she’ll know everything you did during the tragedy of Sablier.”

Jack almost dropped the gem.

“What?!” he snapped.

Oswald winced. “They go together. Lacie will remember she loved you—“

“She still might!” Jack said desperately, “I-I did—I did it for her! To make her happy! She’ll be proud of me…that I…” Jack exhaled, trailing off. He couldn’t continue lying to himself. It was a doomed attempt, and a pitiful one at that.

Oswald gave him a pitying look. “Have you learned nothing from this journey?”

Jack looked down at the green gem in his hand, at the shine it caught from the light of the room. If Lacie knew what he had done— _horrible, terrible things_ —she might not love him any longer.

Jack looked to Oswald, searching for guidance on what to do.

“It’s your decision,” he said to Jack.

Jack took a deep breath and Oswald gestured to a door on the far side of the room. “That door will take you back to the house you’ve taken up residence in.”

They walked over to it and Oswald spoke up again. “And Jack,” Jack turned to him, “take care of my sister.”

Jack smiled wryly as he stepped up to the doors threshold. “You know I will.”

“Remember to take care of yourself as well.”

Jack felt his heart lift at the comment and he smiled at Oswald, nodding his thanks. “I believe this will be the last time I see you?”

Oswald nodded. “Goodbye, old friend.”

They both gripped each other on the shoulder and there was a moment of silence between the two of them.

“Goodbye, my brother,” Jack said as he stepped through the door and was immersed in golden light.

And Oswald was right, he did feel lighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, for reference, I ship Jack with both Lacie or Oswald so that scene was maybe just a little bit "yes homo" (I'm not even a little bit sorry). I remember writing this scene and my dad comes into the living room and asks what I'm doing and I told him I was doing homework. bless.


	19. Ignorance is Bliss

“Jack!”

When Jack appeared on the other end of the portal he was standing in the living room. He barely had time to register what was happening before Lacie cried out his name and threw her arms around him. He thought he really must’ve died and somehow gotten in to heaven for Lacie to be greeting him like this. Jack was rendered speechless as Lacie hugged him and looked up at him with an expression of pure joy. She was positively gleaming, her red eyes bright.

“I thought you were dead!” she cried.

Jack opened his mouth to say something but he was too distracted by her close proximity. She still had her arms wrapped around him.

“What a wonderful thing greet someone with,” Jack heard Ariella say sarcastically.

Lacie made a surprised _oh_ sound and unwrapped her arms from him, and Ariella stepped into view.

“Glad you’re back,” she said and smacked Jack’s shoulder.

“Where did you go?” Lacie asked.

“Oh, I… just met up with an old friend,” Jack said, smiling nostalgically.

Ariella put her hand on her hip and gazed at Jack expectantly. She knew what had happened to him while he was gone. She knew he had the memories. That was a part the _Ciasstolas_ had taken the liberty to explain to her, although she was still rather miffed about the way they got him there.

“Did you happen to find Lacie’s memories while you were away?”

Jack hesitated. “No,” he said, “I did not. I’m sorry.”

Ariella looked him in the eyes. “Yea, I am too,” she said, disappointed.

And with that, she walked away.

 

Later that night, after a lovely evening of sitting by the fire with Lacie, Jack lie awake in his bed. He stared up at the ceiling in the darkness as thoughts swirled through his mind and prevented him from sleeping. He couldn’t get that disappointed look Ariella had given him out of his mind. She knew he had the memories, she hadn’t said anything but Jack assumed his run in with Oswald was another one of her and the _Ciasstolas_ trials—albeit less violent. He thought it was probably because the Will of the Abyss herself was the one who had sent him there, and she was a calm sort of cruel.

It’s not like Jack didn’t want to give Lacie her memories back. He wanted her to remember him, to remember their time together. He knew she wasn’t going to be happy until she was whole again; she didn’t even remember Oswald or Alice or the world she had loved so dearly. All the records of her love were locked away in that little green gem. Jack couldn’t keep that from her. He loved her too much to not want to make her happy in every possible way, but he was so afraid.

He couldn’t give her those memories back, not without her knowing everything that he did. Every terrible, stupid, selfish, horrific sin that he committed in the tragedy of Sablier— _for her, he said_ —was going to be revealed to her. He didn’t want her to know. He wanted her to remain in peaceful, although confused, ignorance.

Jack remembered the way she had jumped into his arms when he came out of the portal. His heart sped up and he couldn’t breathe, he was sure he was dreaming. He wanted to hold her like that forever, in that embrace that was so much like the one he gave to her when he had first seen her again after those eight long years he spent at court. It filled him with happiness, and he craved that rare sensation, he wanted to have it for himself after so many years of not being able to find it. He didn’t want to go back to being submerged in loneliness. Oh, what a selfish thing he was.

And now, Lacie had been so enthralled as Jack explained all about what he had said to her before the Will of the Abyss had taken him away. He told her they had been lovers while they lived on Earth and she was so excited by this, Jack wondered if she might fall in love with him again. If he could get her to do that, he wouldn’t ever have to give her the memories back. He could keep her oblivious to the tragedy, to everything that happened, and they would live in blissful oblivion. She would soon forget all about her missing memories, and they could create all new, wonderful memories of a life they were now free to share with each other. She would be happy, and they could love each other freely without the need for past memories of terrible things.

Yes, Jack tried to convince himself, she would be happier without those memories. She wouldn’t know that her brother and daughter were dead and that she had no remaining family left, or that the city she grew up in was now destroyed and she had nowhere to go home to. She wouldn’t know that the man she loved had caused all those things to happen, that he had destroyed her entire her life and her brothers and daughters lives and all the lives of Sablier, and that everything was _ruined ruined ruined_ because of him.

Jack sat up and put his face in his hands. He knew he was lying to himself as well as to Lacie, and he knew it was wrong, but it was hard to break bad habits. He was so used to lying. Lying was safe, it was what got him through everything without having to face the consequences of his actions. He lied about having caused the tragedy of Sablier for Lacie’s sake; he wanted _so badly_ to lie to himself about not giving Lacie her memories back.

He knew it was wrong to deprive her of what was rightfully hers. Her entire history was held in that emerald gem, her love and her passion and everything that she ever was; it was the life that she lived before it was tragically cut short. Jack couldn’t deny her that.

Then again, he was terribly selfish.

And so terribly afraid.

Jack ran his hands down his face. He couldn’t even think about the possibility that Lacie might not love him after she knew what he had done without his heart freezing in fear.

Lacie was his everything. He had said this a million times, but she was all he had. He couldn’t lose her again. He was so scared of her hating him. He just wanted her to love him. He just wanted to be with her without any interruptions of Baskerville’s ceremonies, which could be possible if he chose not to give her the memories. He wanted Lacie to be happy, and he knew that she never would be without those memories. She wouldn’t be whole, but she would be _his_. Without the memories, Lacie would love him and Jack would spend the rest of his life trying to ignore the fact that he was living a lie. He needed to return Lacies life to her, but he knew that if he gave her those memories she would never forgive him.

And that terrified him.

 

The next morning Jack told Lacie and Ariella that they would not be going out and looking for Lacie’s memories. Ariella tried to protest with him—she knew what he was doing—but Jack just wanted to be with Lacie without any of this chaos, if only for a day.

Lacie, on the other hand, was understanding of Jack’s desire to stay at the house and rest. Jack figured it was because she thought he was weak from that incident with the chains yesterday—Jack shivered at the memory of it—but Jack really just wanted to spend some time with her.

Ariella conveniently made herself scarce, possibly meeting with those dreadful _Ciasstolas_ , or she was just angry with him. Probably both.

Jack sat down with Lacie to continue telling her stories of her old life. She looked at him with wonder and hung on to every word he spoke. Jack wondered if he could just tell her about all the missing memories she didn’t have and leave out all the stuff relating to the Tragedy of Sablier, but Ariella had warned Jack against it. She said that Jack couldn’t expose too many memories to Lacie without actually giving her the gem because it would have unforeseen consequences. Jack thought that was just a way for her to persuade him not to find a loophole around this whole situation, as he had been known to do quite well. He figured a few little stories wouldn’t hurt, so he spent the morning talking about life in Sablier with Lacie.

“Have you ever been in the Baskerville mansion?” Lacie asked him after he had told her about her family’s grandiose home.

Jack smiled mischievously. “Oh, many times. I found lots of different ways to sneak in, it gave your brother fits.”

Lacie giggled. “Aren’t noble manors supposed to be guarded?”

Jack winked. “I’m clever.”

Lacie smiled and looked out the window for a moment, thinking. “You know, you’ve told me all about what my life was like, but I know nothing of yours.”

Hurt struck through Jack’s heart and his smile dropped. “Ah—I, um…it’s not important,” Jack smiled crookedly, “

_Did he?_

Lacie didn’t seem to notice Jack’s sudden discomfort and pressed further. “Come on, I wanna know where you come from! If I’m supposedly in love with you, I must know _something_ ,” she nudged herself closer to him on the couch and Jack’s face flushed at the contact. This, Lacie noticed, and she grinned triumphantly. She had lost memories of her life, yet not her skills of manipulating him, Jack mused.

“I-I was born a noble of the Vessalius family.”

No, a _bastard_ of the Vessalius family.

_Unwanted_. _Unloved_.

“It was a low class family, but I was able to raise my status enough so that I could meet you.”

Through the use of terrible, _disgusting_ means.

_Wretched little thing._

“There’s not really much more to my history than that.”

Other than the fact that he destroyed the entire city.

_Hero of Sablier_.

The lies came naturally to Jack. He didn’t even know why he was lying in the first place. The Lacie he had known in Sablier had met him when he was a filthy boy sitting in a dingy, backstreet alley and she had loved him anyway. He didn’t know why he felt the need to hide the less than beautiful parts of his life from her, even the ones she had known beforehand, but he thought it might just be because he _could_. She didn’t remember a single thing about him. He could reconstruct his history into something noble, something to be proud of, and Lacie wouldn’t know lie from truth.

Jack felt a sudden stab of wrongness, but he ignored it. This was his chance to finally _be_ somebody. He could construct a whole persona, a whole history, and that would be him and—it was exactly what he had done in his previous life. Jack clenched his fists. He couldn’t do this again, not with her, this was _Lacie_. She had loved him before when she had known he was nothing more than a street rat.

He could tell her the truth.

That he had been some poor bastard that nobody wanted and just so happened to get a chance to weasel into court life. That he had manipulated his way to the Baskerville mansion, all to see Lacie. He could tell her that he was some dirty scoundrel and not the charming gentleman he acted like. He could tell her that everything about himself was far more _corrupted_ than it appeared.

Then she would hate him.

And that was why Jack lied.

Lacie furrowed her brows for a moment, like she was trying to decide if she was satisfied by this information or not. “Really? You can describe days of _my_ life with perfect clarity, yet all you say about yourself is how you met me. Isn’t there anything else?”

Jack half smiled at her. “You are my _anything else_. Besides, you are far more interesting than I.”

Lacie tilted her mouth to the side as if displeased.

“Anyway, you used to love fairytales. Red riding hood was your favorite,” Jack said, trying to change the subject.

Lacie forgot her displeasure and looked at Jack with curiosity. “I don’t remember that one, would you tell me?”

Jack and Lacie spent the day talking to each other about better things, rather than lies and pasts. They talked of stories and art and the world, and Lacie spoke of it all with such reverence even when she couldn’t remember any of it. Her eyes lit up when she thought of all that was there, from little things like flowers in the rain to the expansive countries she hoped to visit and explore. Jack wondered how she could have so much _life_ within her, and how was she even real. How had she managed to become _his_.

They ran around in the almost blankness of the Abyss and Lacie kicked up the black liquid with her bare feet, splashing it like water. She ran into his arms once and he had been so distracted by feeling of it, he picked her up and spun her around without any thought as to how she might’ve reacted. Just as fear began to settle in Jack as he thought he had done something terribly wrong to destroy all of this, he saw her face. Lacie was _laughing_. Laughing and smiling and looking just like she had when they were both in Sablier together. Jack felt the corners of his mouth turn upward, and soon enough, he was laughing alongside Lacie.

And he was happy.

Jack walked downstairs one afternoon to find that Ariella was absent, a normalcy . She had been leaving under the pretense of looking for Lacie’s memories but Jack knew she was really just avoiding him. She was disappointed in him, he could see it in her eyes, and yet she said nothing about Jack’s ongoing charade. It stung him to think that he might be losing who he considered a dear friend, but he was too caught up in having Lacie back to do anything about it. Jack wandered into the living room looking for something to do, as the house was too quiet without Ariella’s on-going prattle.

Lacie sat on the pale green couch with a pad of paper in her lap and a pencil in her hand. Jack walked over to her. She didn’t even look up as he approached. She was biting her lip as she always did when she was focused.

Jack craned his neck to see what she was drawing and it looked somewhat like an overstuffed sock. At least, Jack thought that was what it was. It was pretty much an indistinguishable mass of scribbles and he couldn’t be sure.

“I never was very good at that myself, either,” Jack said.

Lacie stopped sketching and looked up at Jack, laughter twinkling in her eyes. “Are you saying its bad?”

Jack froze. _Why did I say that_? he internally chided himself. He never insulted Lacie, never even came close to anything that was less than the praise she deserved, and now he had called her drawing bad—even though it _was_ bad. Jack’s stomach tightened as his nervous thoughts spiraled out of control and he wondered if Lacie would be mad at him.

This was proven untrue as she started laughing.

All of Jack’s worries suddenly ceased, and the sound of her laughter filled his mind. She was absolutely marvelous when she was laughing; her eyes glimmered, she held her hand loosely over her mouth to try and hide her smile but she smiling in such a _true_ way that had him utterly captivated. Before he knew it, Jack was laughing too.

“It looks like a lumpy carrot,” Jack said through peals of laughter. He was only worried for a split second that Lacie would be mad at him; all she did was break into more laughter. Jack felt a sense of breathlessness overtake him, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It felt…strangely light.

Lacie half-giggled, half-hiccupped and pressed her lips together, but her mouth was turned upturned at the corners. She looked away from Jack and down at her drawing and twisted a strand of hair between her fingers. She looked like she was trying not to smile, and failing.

“It was supposed to be you,” she said.

Jack was both touched by the fact that she had tried to draw him of all things, even in her amnesiac state, and also amused by the fact that she had portrayed him like an indistinguishable figure.

“Is that really how you see me?” Jack said mockingly, tilting his head to the side.

Lacie smacked his arm. “Shut up!” she said, trying not to laugh.

Jack laughed breathlessly. He was never this bold with Lacie, but in this one moment, he felt weightless. Like he didn’t have to be afraid that Lacie would leave him. He wanted more moments like these, and that left him with an idea.

 

Lacie trudged up the stairs in the dark and to her room. It was pitch black and she couldn’t see a thing, so she had to feel around on the walls for the doorknob. Good thing she memorized the location of her room—she didn’t want to accidentally stumble in on Ariella while she was sleeping, or worse, Jack. Lacie’s cheeks flushed at the thought. _That_ would be embarrassing.

She clumsily pushed the door open and moonlight flooded in through the large bay window on the far side of the room. It was just enough to see by, but it was a lot higher in the sky than Lacie expected. She wondered how long she had been down in the living room. She hadn’t been ready to go to up to her room, but with everyone else already fast asleep, Lacie was left to her own devices in the inexplicably empty-feeling house. She eventually started wandering around, exploring the downstairs for anything new and interesting, and she had found a bookshelf in a room behind the stairwell. She was instantly drawn in by one of the books, a strange tale of a traitorous knight and a mad queen, and she lost track of time. She only stopped when she noticed her eyelids drooping so much that she couldn’t see the words anymore and they had all become a blur.

Lacie schlepped to the bed and was ready to collapse onto it when she noticed something on her bedside table that hadn’t been there before. It was a piece of paper, but there didn’t appear to be anything written on it. She sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed her tired eyes, and picked up the paper. It was a drawing of something, a pencil sketch, and it took Lacie a minute for the realization to sink in.

It was _her_.

And it was _gorgeous_.

Lacie wasn’t shy in the slightest. She knew she was beautiful, and never bothered to hide it or put any unnecessary effort into emphasizing it. She didn’t know where this confidence came from, but she knew that she liked it.

But this drawing, it didn’t just make her look beautiful. It made her look _real_. It captured her laughing with her hand loosely over her mouth, and her eyes crinkled at the edges with mirth. She was basically shimmering, even in a pencil sketch. It captured her in the moment when she had been trying to draw Jack, and she thought about her relationship to him before she lost her memories. He had told her that they had been lovers but she never really understood the full extent of how much he loved her. She looked like a shining star in this portrait, and for him to be able to draw her with such _passion_ , such—Lacie couldn’t describe it.

She knew Jack was hiding something, but she didn’t think it was anything bad. Once she got her memories back, she would know how deeply she had once loved Jack, and they could have many more days like this.

 

Jack caught Ariella looking at him with disappointment evident in her eyes every morning before she left—Jack told Lacie that she was going to look for the memories—but Jack ignored her. He was finally happy with Lacie, and he didn’t want to let go of this blissful lie.

Five days after Jack had gotten the memory gem, Ariella finally confronted him.

“You have to give them back to her, you know,” Ariella said casually, breaking the silence in the room.

“Does she really need the gem? I told her most of what she was missing,” Jack said, hoping to keep the apprehensiveness out of his voice.

Ariella glared at him. “I told you not to do that.”

Jack fake smiled at her. “Lacie is fine. She is happy. I do not want to destroy that with memories of her family’s destruction.”

Ariella looked down at the book she had previously been reading. “Oh yea, I wonder who caused _that_ ,” she mumbled under her breath.

Jack felt hot anger flash through him. “What did you say?”

Ariella looked up and gave him a tight-lipped smile. “I said, how noble of you, to be thinking only of her happiness.”

Jack clenched his jaw, about to retort when Lacie stepped into the room. Jack immediately lost his anger and Ariella looked back down at her book after greeting Lacie.

Lacie looked nervous, almost afraid, and Jack was suddenly filled with protective instincts.

“Um…I don’t know if this is supposed to happen, but…” Lacie trailed off and held up her left hand.

On the back of her hand was an uneven black patch, as if her skin was glass and someone had broken a hole in it. Jack and Ariella both gasped when they saw this.

“Lacie…” Jack said, “Who did this to you?” He would kill anyone who hurt his Lacie.

Lacie shook her head slightly. “No one, I was cleaning up my room and it just…broke off.”

Ariella narrowed her eyes and made a _hmm_ sound.

“Does this have something to do with the Abyss? My memories?” Lacie asked.

Jack was about to say something when Ariella cut him off and told Lacie that she needed to talk with Jack privately for a moment. She shooed Lacie out the door and closed it behind her, then turned back to Jack with a look of disdain.

“You’re a real asshole, you know that?” she said.

Jack was surprised by the outburst, but tried to keep his face neutral. “I’ve been told,” he crossed his arms over his chest, “now what did you want to talk to me about?”

“You know damn well what I want to talk to you about,” Ariella said.

Jack pulled the jade marble out of his pocket and held it up to the light. “This?” he gave Ariella a half-hearted smirk.

“How could you have not given her that yet?” Ariella said, disappointed. “I thought you had changed…”

Jack palmed the marbled and stood up straighter. “I have, it’s just…”

“No,” Ariella said, “you haven’t.” Jack looked at her. “You’re still the same selfish fool you were before all of this. I guess some things never change.”

“No—I…uh—“ Jack stuttered. He couldn’t think of what to say.

“No, Jack. You’re still as much of a selfish bastard as you ever were. How could you do this to her?” Ariella asked sharply, and Jack would be lying if he said her accusations didn’t sting a little.

Jack rubbed the back of his neck. “I—I can’t do this,” he shook his head, “she’ll hate me for what I did!”

Ariella glared at him.

“Please Ariella, she’s all I have left…I can’t—I can’t do this,” Jack pleaded.

Ariella crossed her arms and stuck her chin out, somehow able to look down on jack despite her short stature.

“How dare you,” Ariella was unrelenting. “You pathetic fool. I thought you were better than this.”

Jack couldn’t remember a time when Ariella was ever so cruel to him. She did have a temper, but she was always patient with him. Or had been, at least. Jack tore his gaze from Ariella and had the sudden urge to chuck the marble at the wall. He clenched his fists and his jaw twitched with anger.

“I can’t give her back these memories,” he said, keeping his gaze on the wall.

“I thought you loved her,” Ariella said quietly.

Jack sucked in a breath and his heart twanged. “I do.”

“Then how can you put your happiness over her life? She’s nothing more than a shell right now. I told you, trying to explain her memories without giving her the gem would have unforeseen consequences. You didn’t listen! She will crumble away into nothing if you don’t give her that gem,” Ariella said.

Jack squeezed the marble harder into his palm and could feel it almost sinking into his skin. He sucked in a deep breath and said in a low tone, “fine.” He turned back to Ariella, who was looking at him with the smallest of smiles and none of her previous hostility. She nudged her chin at the door, and that was his cue to leave.

Jack gave her a curt nod as he left the room, to find Lacie sitting on the couch. She jumped up and ran to him when she saw him, and there was such fear in her eyes that Jack knew he needed to make this right. He couldn’t stand to see her suffer like this, let alone be the cause of her suffering.

_Oh, but she’ll suffer so much more when she remembers…_

Jack blinked, internally shaking away the thought. This was no time for the demons in his head to cloud his judgement as they had in the past, many times.

Lacie held up her other hand. There was another black patch on her palm, and one on her collarbone that hadn’t been there before. She was like a deteriorating porcelain doll that someone had thrown and was slowly shattering to pieces.

“I think it’s getting worse…” she said fearfully.

Jack wanted to reach out and put his hand on Lacie’s shoulder, something to comfort her, but he didn’t. He just forced a smile and hoped that that would help to calm her fears. “It’s okay, Ariella and I have found a way to fix this.”

Lacie’s eyes brightened at this and she looked up. Jack was about to say something when Lacie suddenly wrapped her arms around him, silencing him. He didn’t know what to do so he kept his arms lamely at his sides as Lacie pressed herself against him. His breathing quickened, as well as his heartbeat, but he stood still.

_She was so close…_

“Thank you so much!” Lacie cried happily.

Jack felt his heart tighten painfully. Her affection now was only going to make this harder to do, but he knew he had to. He was going to miss this, though. He pushed Lacie away with some effort and told her to wait for him in her room. He ran his hand through his bangs and closed his eyes; again he was flooded with images from the tragedy of Sablier. The fire, the blood, the screams…Oswald and Alice, the closest family Lacie ever had. Lacie’s hometown, her city, was nothing more than a seeping black pit of destruction and it had all been because of him. Jack’s fist curled into his hair and tightened, threatening to rip out the golden strands. He opened his eyes and released his hands, and he prepared himself for what was about to happen.

He would truly lose everything.

But Lacie would be alive.

She would hate him, and that scared him more than anything else, but she needed her memories. Memories that would cause the both of them to suffer, with Lacies knowledge that she had nowhere and no one to return to, and Jack’s knowledge that he may have lost Lacie forever. Jack knew she wouldn’t be happy again for a long time, but she would be whole and alive. And Jack would keep her safe no matter what. He realized that he had been going about this the wrong way the whole time. The only way to make Lacie happy was not by lies and apocalypses, but by telling her the truth. Because he loved her.

Jack entered Lacie’s room to find her sitting on the bed. She perked up when she saw him, looking at him with hopeful, expectant eyes. Jack tried to suppress the pain building up in his heart. He walked over to her.

“I finally found your memories,” Jack said, “whatever’s happening will go away once you have them back.”

Lacie smiled brightly at him. “Thank you so much…you’re amazing, Jack,” she said.

Jack forced himself not to look away. “I just want you to know,” he swallowed, his voice thick with emotion, “that no matter what, I love you,” he bent down and kissed the top of Lacie’s head.

Jack knelt down before her and she smiled brightly at him. Jack took the green gem out of his pocket and Lacie eyed it curiously, but said nothing. Jack gently took Lacie’s hand in his own and held it as if it were glass, which it might have been with all the spidery cracks. Jack sighed and placed the stone in the empty spot on the golden ring and Lacie threw her head back.

Everything was unfocused for a second before Lacie could make out the colorful shapes in front of her eyes. The picture sharpened to an image of her sitting at the window of her tower, with her chin on her palm and watching the gray clouds form into the oncoming storm. She heard a sound and looked down.

_Black hair. Violet eyes._

_Her brother, Oswald._

  
The picture blurred at the edges, like an old vignette. Suddenly, it showed Lacie running through the forest, looking behind her and laughing, but it was a far off sound. The picture blurred, and refocused on the gray sky. Lacie spun around in the street, looking up at the heavens as they poured their frozen tears upon her face. She looked quickly behind her, checking for any sign of Oswald and the Baskervilles, before darting off in another direction. She ducked into an alley, hoping there’d be less snow and silently wishing she had worn shoes.

  
_White dress. Snowy day. Filthy boy._

  
_The day she met Jack._

  
There he was, amongst a pile of rags, staring up at her with the most dreadfully despairing eyes she had ever seen in her life. She remembered being both amused and angered by this little scrap of a thing, but she also remembered she liked him. He was an adorably fun thing to tease, and oh so vulnerable. And easy to blush, Lacie remembered with a smile. But he was so sad for someone so young, someone so full of life and _freedom_ ; someone who had all the time he could ever possibly want to explore the world. It angered her that he had the chance that she didn’t and was ready to throw it away. How dare he.

  
_White hair, bandages, and lecherous eyes._

  
_The “experiment” she did with Levi._

  
She had a daughter. She had twins. She had a whole family waiting for her.

  
_Then fire._

  
_Blood. So much blood._

  
Why was everyone screaming?

  
_Red hoods. Oswald was yelling at someone…_

  
Oswald, what happened to—

  
_Scissors_.

  
_“I won’t let anyone take away what is mine!”_

  
_Alice no!_ Lacie screamed in her mind as she saw her daughters lifeless body fall to the floor, covered in blood.

  
_Corpses. So many of them._

  
Why were there so many of them?

  
Why was this happening?

  
Lacie couldn’t tell if she was screaming or not.

  
_A decapitated head. Oswald… what happened?_

  
_Blonde hair. Green jacket. Manic smile._

  
_Jack?_

  
_Jack._

  
_Jack!_

  
Lacie’s eyes flew open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter again. I wanted to break it up into two but wasn't sure where so...here ya go. But yay for character development! And also, yes, this is going to completely shatter Jack...because I can't give the guy a break. Not yet.


	20. Heartless

At first she didn’t know how to react, overflowing with all these new memories and the emotions that came with them. It was an overwhelming flood of emotions; sadness, anger, disbelief… and Lacie was still for a moment. As everything settled into place, she finally figured out what was going on. She stared straight ahead for a few seconds before turning her head and seeing him still kneeling by her bedside.

Jack.  

He had murdered her brother and her daughter. He had manipulated them all, and set the city alight. He tried to destroy the world, _her world_ , and he had the audacity to claim it was _for_ her? _Because_ of her?

This was the man she had loved?

Lacie spontaneously burst into tears.

She didn’t want to, of course, but she couldn’t help it. With this terrible slew of memories she never herself witnessed, she cried and she sobbed and she wailed. She didn’t notice Jack shift slightly, but she knew he wouldn’t dare touch her. Not like this. And now, not _ever_. She would make sure of that.

Lacie buried her face in her hands, holding her knees to her chest as she shook considerably. Jack watched from his position on the floor and he knew not to move an inch, lest he provoke her even more. It tore him to shreds to see Lacie like this, this sniveling mess that had once been the bright-eyed girl dancing barefoot in the snow. It killed him that this was _all his fault_ , and he could do nothing to comfort her. How he wished to reach out and embrace her, to stop her shivering and quiet her tremors, but Jack knew that she wouldn’t want that.

He heard it over and over again in his head, _stupid stupid stupid,_ and he couldn’t easily push away these demons. He had caused this, like everything else. Anything bad to ever happen was always because of him. He, the harbinger of tragedy and the bringer of death, a fool who’s personality was null and his soul was void, a monster who’s meaning in life was nothing.

Jack tightened his hand into a fist. He needed to focus. This was not a time for self-pity.

“…Lacie?” he said tentatively, so quiet he hoped she wouldn’t hear him over her wails of agony.

She did.

Lacie stopped crying long enough to turn her head in his direction, long black tendrils of hair slipping away from her face. Her jaw was set and her porcelain skin was almost as red as her eyes, from both crying and from anger. Her eyes, they _burned_. So filled with anger and hatred and despair, they scared him.

“You,” Lacie whispered.

Jack gulped. He had to fight an urge to back away as Lacie glared at him.

“You did this!” she screamed, louder.

Jack made nervous hand gestures as he tried desperately to explain himself, to no avail.

“You’re a monster!” Lacie screamed.

She furiously scrambled off the bed and Jack reached for her to stop her from leaving, realizing too late his mistake.

Lacie spun around and slapped Jack hard across the face.

“Don’t you _dare_ touch me!” she snapped stormed away.

Jack was too stunned to realize what had just happened before Lacie spun around under the doorway and continued her tirade at him.

“I hate you! I never want to see you ever again!” she screamed, and Jack could only watch as she walked away from him.

This was it. This was what he had traveled so far for, this was what he had endured the torment of vengeful _Ciasstolas_ for, this was what he had destroyed Sablier for— _he destroyed everything_.  This was what he had gotten in exchange for all of the atrocities he had committed in his life, and he could almost laugh at how fitting a punishment it was. All his life he had sought love and happiness, and just when he had finally gotten a glimpse of it, it was ripped away from him. Not once— _no_ , fate was never that kind—it had to happen _twice_. He was shattered the first time, and so he destroyed everything else. He had thrown away his humanity—if he ever had any to begin with, and he had thrown away everything that he was—that wasn’t very much though, was it?

Jack figured, in the end, it didn’t even matter.

This was the fate that had been chosen for him. His only true purpose was to destroy anything he touched.

Jack felt laughter bubble up in his throat. Dark, cold, manic laughter.

If that was what they wanted, then so be it.

A monster they shall have.

 

Lacie ran down the stairs and into the kitchen, burning with anger although unable to hold back the flood of tears. She tore open a cabinet door and grabbed the closest breakable object—a porcelain plate—and hurled it against the wall where it shattered into a million pieces. She screamed in frustration and threw another plate, and this time it went sailing right through the window, which shattered as well.

“How _dare_ he!” she shouted at no one, although half-hoping Jack would hear her venting her frustrations.

He deserved everything he got from those blasted chains, after what he did to Alice, _her daughter_ , because how _dare_ he touch her. Her brother, her beloved Oswald who had always shouldered the burden of becoming the next glen, who never complained or questioned and was so devoted and gentle. He was her best and closest friend, the one who had always been by her side when the world turned her away. Lacie knew he had been distraught after the ceremony; he was always so good in the way he would take on more and more guilt for things that were never under his control.

How dare Jack betray him.

Weren’t they all friends once?

Did that mean _nothing_ to Jack?

“That heartless, guiltless, cowardly _bastard_!” Lacie screamed as she tore open a drawer, nearly ripping it out of the counter.

Ariella heard the loud crashing and came running in to see what the commotion was, and she was met with a seething Lacie tossing about the contents of the silverware drawer. If not for Lacie being in such a tormented state, Ariella would have smiled. Jack kept true to his promise.

“I can see you’re upset,” Ariella said flatly.

Lacie glared daggers at her. “Oh _really_ ,” she huffed and put her hands on her hips, “how ever can you tell?”

Ariella casually ran her finger over a shard of porcelain on the countertop. “At least you have your memories back, finally.”

Lacie smiled sharply and without mirth. “Yes, yes, it’s quite lovely to know that I had so _foolishly_ fallen in love with that _monster_ that destroyed my family. Everyone is dead, and everything is bloody _brilliant_.” Lacie’s pitch rose higher with each word, to the point of hysteria.

Ariella opened her mouth and then closed it. Lacie pushed the drawer shut with considerable force, and it closed with a loud rattle of silverware.

“Look, It’s understandable that you’re angry at jac—“ Ariella began.

Lacie pointed a wooden spoon at her. “Don’t you dare say his name in front of me,” she said dangerously.

“He’s an ass, I know,” Ariella said, “but he really does love you.”

Lacie scoffed. “He has a funny way of showing it. Flowers would have been fine, but no, I get the _bloody apocalypse_.”

Ariella put her hands out to try and placate Lacie. “I’m not saying you should forgive him, but I’ve been with him the whole time he was searching for you down here.”

Lacie pretended not to be listening to Ariella and busied herself with arranging shards of porcelain on the countertop.

“He went through a lot just to get to you, and he never gave up. Not once.”

Lacie threw her porcelain shards down and threw her hands up in the air exasperatedly. “That’s the thing, isn’t it? He will never give up. He’s _obsessed_. He’s a heartless maniac that only ever wanted me for his own selfish desires.”

Ariella didn’t say anything, mostly because she found that she couldn’t argue with Lacie. Which was looking pretty bad for her side of the argument. “Jack is not a good man,” she said.

Lacie laughed bitterly. “Got that right.”

Ariella looked Lacie in the eyes. “But, out of all the things that he is, _heartless_ isn’t one of them,” she said, and then walked away before Lacie could say anything more.

 

_Lacie doesn’t love you anymore._

That voice, that _damn_ voice, it was mocking him. Over and over again it repeated in his head, endless chortling laughter at his eternal damnation and never ending suffering.

_Lacie will never forgive you Lacie will never forgive you Lacie will never forgive you ehehehehehehhehehehe~_

“Go away!” Jack shouted as he threw a vase at the wall.

He felt like running but he didn’t know where to go, felt like he was trapped in this small room and yet not wanting to leave. It was like vertigo, he was falling but he was also lifting, as if his mind was leaving his body. He didn’t like it.

He stomped around the room, not really bothering to try and avoid the shattered remains of what had been used as decoration, now scattered across the floor. He grabbed a pillow and tore it apart, standing in the shower of white feathers that rained down around him. He took the bedspread and tore it into shreds, cursing and shouting and mumbling and screaming. It was all so… _surreal_.

It reminded him of when he had first heard of Lacie’s death.

This was worse.

Lacie was alive, she was within his grasp, and he had let her slip away. She was gone yet she was here but he couldn’t have her and he was alone.

Oh, so terribly alone.

Lacie was what had sustained his existence, she had been the one to see him for who he was and she loved him anyway. A one in a million chance, the angel girl falling for the soulless devil boy.

Abandoned, and cold.

Just like the long nights in that dingy alley when he hadn’t known whether he would live or die. When he hadn’t really cared.

And this time, Lacie wasn’t there to save him.

He felt himself crying, but he didn’t care. Too consumed. By what, anger? Grief? Despair? Jack couldn’t tell.

Ah, the absurdity of it all. The audacity that he must have had, to think that he could be awarded some small piece of happiness. He had always been too obscenely prideful.

He couldn’t help but laugh.

There was a mirror in the corner of the room, one of those tall ones that shows a person’s full body, and Jack walked up to it. He gripped the sides a little too tight. His hands were shaking and his knuckles went white, but he didn’t really notice any of it. He just looked at the reflection in the mirror, that awful, disgusting, wretched _thing_ staring back at him. A sharp, manic smile stretched ear to ear in the most unnatural way; empty emerald eyes glinted with madness and spoke nothing of kindness. There was a cut on its cheek, and bright red blood was smudged all down its neck to contrast the mess of golden hair. A monster, in every sense of the word.

Jack punched the mirror and shattered the reflection into a million pieces.

As if killing the monster was that easy.

Jack arched his back and bent his head back, looking upside down at the doorway. How crooked everything was, he had to laugh! It was absolutely _hilarious_.

He fell to his knees and put his head in his hands, and he felt wetness on his fingers but couldn’t remember what it was from. He tasted salt on his tongue, but he continued to laugh. Everything was so bright and so dim, all at the same time. It was so, so, so _funny_ that he didn’t think he would ever stop laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also really love this scene and here's where the angry Lacie tag comes into play haha. Angry Lacie is best Lacie. and then there's jack having a nervous breakdown for like the fourth time, I hope I got the sort of "Jack feel" in that scene, I tried making it seem like the manga 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you like!


	21. Shades of Gold and Green

Ariella waited for a few minutes outside the door to Lacie’s bedroom. Jack was still in there, and judging by the constant crashing sounds, he was not taking this very well.

Ariella entered the room slowly, tentatively, and hoped she wouldn’t find something hurled in her direction.

“Jack?” Ariella called, but manic laughter was the only response she received.

She found him crouched in front of a shattered mirror, surrounded by broken glass and shards of what the room had once been. Jack curled in on himself and his body shook with laughter.

“Jack?” Ariella said again.

Jack didn’t notice her. Ariella slowly crept toward Jack, knowing how volatile he was, and stood in front of him. He had his head in his hands, with his fingers splayed over his face to reveal wide, bloodshot eyes dripping tears onto the floor. His terrible grin split his face in two. Ariella pressed her lips into a thin line and slowly sat down in front of him, lowering herself to his level and being careful not to make any sudden movements.

“Jack?” she said gently, but he didn’t even see her.

So she slapped him across the face.

Jack seemed stunned for a second, completely still and silent, before he collapsed on the ground. He looked like he was breaking apart, trying to hold himself up on shaking arms while he sobbed and breathed rapidly. He was hyperventilating, Ariella realized, and she put her hands on his shoulders. He wailed loudly.

_Well, at least he wasn’t laughing anymore._

“Hey, hey, Jack, it’s okay, it’s okay,” Ariella said in a whispery voice, trying to calm him down.

He was shaking under her hands. Ariella wanted to cry just looking at him.

“Jack, Jack,” Ariella lightly shook his shoulders, “it’s okay, Jack, it’s okay, you’re okay.”

Nothing worked. Jack wailed pitifully, and he didn’t seem to hear her.

“Don’t make me slap you again,” Ariella said in a stern tone, shifting from the soothing voice.

Jack hiccupped softly and lifted his chin to look at Ariella. His eyes were so sad and vulnerable, so _scared_ ; such a contrast to the crazed look he had had only moments ago. More tears spilled down his face.

“l-lac-ie,” Jack stuttered, barely able to get the word out. His voice was ragged and broken.

Ariella gave him a sympathetic look and brought him into her arms. He rested his head on her shoulder and sobbed, and Ariella remained silent until he broke away.

“You did the right thing,” Ariella said with a small smile.

Jack looked at her despairingly. “Why does doing the right thing have to hurt so much?”

He hiccupped again. Ariella hugged him.

“But you are not alone in this.”

 

Later that evening, Ariella had taken to sleeping in the armchair by Jack’s bedside. Jack sighed. He remembered that she had always done this when he was down, and when he came to talk to her about anything that had happened. She would always listen to him and comfort him, until he was too exhausted to keep his eyes open any longer and fell asleep. She would sleep in a chair near him, like she didn’t want to leave him alone when he was so sad. He appreciated it, but he didn’t think he had ever thanked her for it before.

He pulled a blanket off his bed and gently covered Ariella with it, careful not to disturb her slumber. She shifted, but didn’t open her eyes. Jack smiled softly, he was glad she was getting some sleep. He used to come to her room late at night—the servants believed their lover act most of all, because of this—and Jack was certain that Ari—Elizabeth had started keeping an unfinished embroidery project on her bedside table just for the sole purpose of making it look like she had been doing something and that Jack hadn’t woken her up. Jack knew better of course, Elizabeth would never do something so dull, much less at four in the morning. Apparently, great people make terrible liars.

That explained him, then. He was fantastic liar.

 

Jack woke up feeling like he had just slept for a hundred years, and considering recent events, he wouldn’t have minded that one bit. But no, when he turned his head to the side on the pillow, Ariella was still sleeping on the chair beside him. Jack exhaled and stared up at the ceiling, not really feeling any inclination to actually get out of bed. Maybe if he stayed there long enough, Lacie would just magically forgive him and they would both be able to find a way out of this mess.

Wishful thinking.

Jack knew Lacie’s ire ran as red as her irises, and she had more reasons than anyone to hate him. He was used to the hatred, at least he liked to tell himself so, but this wasn’t just some random passerby—or whole city—this was _Lacie_.

Jack sat up in bed and shook his head. He knew the world’s view of him and Lacie: that he was hopelessly obsessed with her. Even Ariella thought that. And maybe it was true, Jack did have to take a step back and realize how unhealthy his love for Lacie was. But it wasn’t like he could just turn it _off_ , he had loved her from the moment he saw her, she saved his life, she made him happy…he just wanted that. He wanted to be happy, to make her happy, and to thank her for everything she did for him. The love he had for her was an ugly thing, some would say, and that it drove him mad.

Jack would agree.

Sometime during his court years, he began to hate Lacie. Hate what she did to him, how she made him feel. She made him ravenous for her attention, her love, so much so that he would do anything for her. But he never wanted to hurt her, never, he only ever wanted her to be happy.

Himself, he wanted to be whole.

There were many things he loved about Lacie. Things people didn’t ever notice, too caught up in seeing only red irises and a cruel laugh. The child of misfortune, they called her. They didn’t ever _see_ her.

Still, she loved the world, for all its faults and for all the suffering it caused her. Jack might have been jealous of that; he hated the world and everyone in it. They made him suffer, they scorned and shunned and broke him, so he wanted to destroy them. While he fell into the pits of despair, Lacie floated on air. She saw the world in a much deeper way than anyone, even Jack, could ever imagine. She saw the people abusing one another, lying and stealing and cheating and all this depravity, and she was still endlessly captivated. She saw the good in everything. People falling in love, not just with one another, but with the rain and the way flowers bloomed or the way the sunrise lit up the morning sky. She saw opportunities and goodness in every little thing, even being cold and barefoot on a snowy day. She danced in dirty alleys, freezing, and she saw goodness, or at least _something_ , in a little green eyed boy huddled in rags. Or maybe she didn’t, maybe she had only ever interacted with him at all because she was having fun, and messing with a street rat seemed like as good a game as any. It didn’t matter. She lived in the moment, in a world of love and dreams and broken pieces and she saved him.

How could he not love her?

She once told him that everyone in the world was broken. That everyone had pieces missing and when you found a person with broken pieces that fit yours, they complete you, and you complete them. And all the brokenness is shared between the two, but it is patched up and you are together, always. Jack wondered if that was what love was.

This was why Jack was so obsessed with Lacie. He couldn’t be apart from her because he needed her to fix those broken pieces, and he had so many he didn’t know what to do. Lacie definitely had her work cut out for her—Jack smiled wistfully—and he wanted to do everything he could to thank her. That’s why he treated her like a goddess, because to him, she was. She was his savior.

Jack was broken out of his thoughts when he heard Ariella yawn. He looked over and saw her stretching out her arms like a sleepy feline awakening from its nap, but she still remained nestled in the chair. Her eyes were half-lidded and probably blurry from sleep so Jack decided to give her time to wake up. He went over to the mirror and started braiding his hair, since it had come undone during, what Ariella had called it, the _temper tantrum_ he had last night. Ariella could go from loving to sarcastic with a snap of her fingers.

Her face appeared in the mirror behind him. Jack didn’t turn around to look at her.

“Sleep well?” he asked with a sardonic smile, obviously trying to avoid the elephant in the room. The real question was, what was he going to do about Lacie?

Ariella looked at him sideways. “Don’t play games with me, Jack. It’s too early.”

Jack plastered a smile onto his face. “Whatever do you mean, Lady Elizabeth?” he said in his most cordial yet detached tone.

Ariella snatched the braid out of Jack’s hands before he even had a chance to think, and then she pulled it so his head was level with hers. She looked into his eyes with that same steely determination she always had.

“Don’t you dare go putting on those masks again or so help me God, I will slap you so hard you won’t know what day it is.”

Jack dropped his gaze to the floor and chuckled. “Good to see you haven’t changed,” he said with a wan smile.

The anger on Ariella’s face softened to pity and Jack had to fight the urge to roll his eyes.

“Okay, you want me to be honest with you? Fine. I don’t know what to do, or how I am ever going to get Lacie to ever forgive me and she hates me and I hate this and—“ Jack abruptly cut himself off and turned around to face the mirror. Ariella had slackened her hold on his braid and he took it back from her while she was distracted. He tried to compose himself while continuing his work on the braid, smoothing out the stray hairs that had come undone when Ariella had grabbed it. He stared into the mirror and tried to school his features into something unreadable when Ariella gently put her hand on his shoulder.

“It’s okay, Jack. We’ll find a way to fix this,” she said softly. Jack almost smiled at her use of _we_ ; it looked like he wasn’t totally alone in this.

Jack took a deep breath and turned around. Ariella drew her hand back. Jack looked at her and then at the door.

“Shall we?” Jack said, offering Ariella a hand.

“Ever the gentleman,” Ariella deadpanned. With a roll of her eyes, she walked off to the door without taking Jack’s hand.

 

They saw Lacie the moment they walked down the stairs and Jack felt like he had been punched in the gut. Lacie was sitting in a chair by the window, staring out at the murky grayness with a sense of ambedo. There was a melancholy air about her and Jack was reminded of when he would see her looking out the windows of her tower, except she had lost that willful curiosity and mischievousness. And, as it seemed, her love. Replaced with spite and despair by none other than the one who only ever wanted to make her happy.

Jack didn’t know if he could do this. A thousand thoughts rushed through his mind in a matter of seconds, reactions she might have, what would he do now, and what if she never loved him again— what if she never smiled again? It would be all his fault all his _fault_ —

Ariella cleared her throat and Lacie looked at them, momentarily surprised but her eyes soon narrowed in suspicion and hatred. Most of which was directed at Jack, who shifted uncomfortably between the ball of his foot and the heel. Lacie stood from her chair with the grace of a puma and walked over to them, intentionally not making eye contact with Jack. Jack clasped his hands behind his back and stood ramrod straight, trying not to notice how Lacie’s hips swayed as she walked, making her sleek black dress swish behind her.

_Where had she found that?_ Jack tried to distract himself. She was doing this on purpose.

“Good morning Ariella,” Lacie said coldly, shunning Jack.

Ariella opened her mouth to say something, then shut it and glanced at Jack. He had suddenly found the olive green walls terribly interesting and wouldn’t look at the two women.

Ariella bounced on the balls of her feet as an awkward silence spread over the three of them. “So…” she began, then paused for a moment before continuing, “I think it would be a good idea if we found a way out of here.”

“Out of the Abyss?” Lacie asked, to which Ariella nodded. “Good, I’m sick of this place.” She waved her hand noncommittally.  

“And considering there’s an angry hoard of vengeful _Ciasstolas_ out for Jack’s blood…although I doubt the real world will be any more welcoming,” Ariella mumbled that last part.

Lacie turned her nose up at the mention of Jack.

“How do we get out of the Abyss? Do we have to find another portal?” Jack asked quietly, hoping his voice wouldn’t anger Lacie. If it affected her, she didn’t show it.

“No. Something that powerful… a transport between worlds can only be done by the Will of the Abyss,” Ariella said somberly.

“Then let’s go find her,” Lacie said.

Ariella spun slowly around and put her hand on the counter. “It’s not that simple,” Lacie raised an eyebrow, “we can’t contact the Will of the Abyss. Only Mattrich can.”

“Find her, then,” said Lacie.

“Well, problem is that she’s the _Magjistare,_ the leader _,_ of the angry hoard of _Ciasstolas_ that’s after Jack. She’s not going to help us,” Ariella said. Jack still didn’t look at them.

Lacie smiled sardonically. “Of course. It’s always _him_ , isn’t it? Couldn’t get enough of ruining everyone else’s lives, you have to mess everything up here too?” she said sharply.

Jack flinched, her words had obviously struck something in him but he remained silent. His gaze dropped shamefully to the floor but he still would not look at Lacie. After a beat Jack finally looked up, staring at the wall and avoiding eye contact with anyone.

“Well then, let’s go find those _Ciasstolas_ and _make_ them summon the Will of the Abyss. We are getting out of here one way or another,” he said coldly. He turned to Ariella, keeping a stiff posture. “You’re involved with the _Ciasstolas_. Find them.”

Ariella was at a loss for words. Caught between the lovers spat, she headed for the door. “Coming?” she asked awkwardly.

Lacie walked towards the door, bumping against Jack’s shoulder along the way. She still didn’t look at him. Jack took a deep breath and tried to compose himself. He needed his mask to work right now, although he could already feel it beginning to splinter. One good thing that came from this was that Jack now knew for sure that he had a heart. He wished he didn’t though, because it bloody _hurt_.

He put on a blank expression and followed Ariella and Lacie out the door.

 

They traveled through the Sablier area and Lacie looked at it all with new eyes. It had been familiar before, but now, now she knew.

This was her home.

She could point out individual buildings which were, although decrepit and crumbling, still familiar. She had visited some of them before on her not-so-uncommon escapades where she escaped the dull captivity of the Baskerville’s. A bakery where she had once stolen a hot cross bun and been chased out of; not for stealing, but for her eyes. An apartment complex she passed by where everyone used to close their shutters in fear of the child of misfortune. Lacie felt herself half hoping she would see the alley where she had first met Jack, and she stopped herself. She couldn’t think about that now. Jack was nothing to her. He had betrayed her and _he had done this_.

She looked at the apartment building now, empty and caving in, most of the shutters not even attached, let alone closed. The ones that were still there just flapped open in the murky air, revealing empty black spaces behind them and reeking of despair and the absence of life. This whole place felt like that, hollow and frightening. This was what Jack had done to her city. The city that never accepted her, was never kind to her, but _oh_ , it was so beautiful. People hanging their laundry out to dry under gray and rainy skies; green striped socks dripping on peoples hats as they walked under the clotheslines. People kissing on the streets. Carriages running over flowers and squashing them into the cobblestones. Muddy puddles and snowy places, dingy alleyways and dirty boys with empty eyes— _no_. Lacie shook her head and looked down at her feet, mentally chiding herself. She couldn’t stop thinking about him.

Jack…what a pitiful fool. Such a blustering idiot, Lacie wondered how he had ever survived as a noble. But then again, they were all idiots anyway, too concerned with themselves to ever really _see_ Jack as he was. Maybe that’s why they liked him. They couldn’t see how truly corrupted he was. Lacie, she had always liked broken things.

She sometimes wondered why Jack loved her. She only ever had sat with him in that alley because—why had she? Because she was bored? Cold and in need of warmth? Lacie didn’t know. But it was certainly not enough to deserve endless devotion. She was beautiful, yes. She knew she would have had many suitors if not for her eyes. But beauty alone wasn’t enough for someone to destroy a whole city.

Jack loved her deeply, she could see it in his eyes. She would catch him looking at her as if she was a galaxy full of shimmering stars. She often looked like that when imagining all the wonders of the world, but Jack looked at her as if she was the world. He never acted on it, but she could tell he desperately wanted nothing more than to do just that. The only time he had ever taken the initiative to do something was when he had hugged her after seeing her again after eight years. _How had he managed to find her?_ Lacie wondered. And other than that, the Baskervilles were very exclusive and private; they rarely ever accepted guests. Lacie had thought she was never going to see him again. And there he was, showing up out of the blue and being that one burst of color in her life, a piece of the world she had never been able to fully experience.

Lacie remembered being bored one day and deciding to do a little experiment. Jack was sitting on a chair reading a book and Lacie strode over to him and plucked it right out of his hands. Before he could utter a word, she climbed onto his lap. If she hadn’t been trying to seduce him, she would have laughed at how hard he gripped the chairs armrests. He tried so hard to restrain himself, but Lacie could see the desire in his eyes. Humanity was so… _refreshing_ in these moments. Jack never laid a hand on her and, Lacie would never admit, she had been a little disappointed. But it was hilarious to see Jack’s face flush nonetheless. How funny he was.

Lacie found herself smiling fondly at the memory and she focused her attention back on the black liquid of the Abyss floor. Those moments were gone now. Images of the city in flames—images of _Alice_ —flashed through her mind.

How could Jack be so cruel?

Lacie fought the urge to look back at him. She instead focused her attention elsewhere, trying to take her mind off of her former lover. She listened to a sound in the distance, an uneven and quiet sound that she couldn’t quite identify. It got louder as they walked on, and Lacie began to wonder what it was. She hoped it wasn’t another chain.

“Ariella, do you hear that?” Lacie asked.

Ariella turned her ears up and listened. “Sounds like someone’s crying.”

“There are other people here?” Lacie asked.

Ariella shrugged. “There’s lots of people here, just some are more chain than others.”

“We should go see what’s wrong, maybe this person needs help,” Lacie said, looking off into the distance, searching.

“Or it could be a trap,” Jack said, not looking at Lacie. She glared at him anyways.

“Let’s go,” she said. Jack telling her not to only made her want to go even more, if only to prove him wrong.

Lacie set off on a course toward the mournful sound and Ariella and Jack had no choice but to follow. Lacie rounded the corner of a half caved in house and saw a woman huddled on a set of stone steps, clutching a mountain of patchy blankets to her chest. She was shivering and sobbing, and looking down at the bundle of blankets in her arms.

“ma’am?” Lacie asked, “Are you alright?”

The woman looked up and tried to wipe her face with her free hand, then went back to cradling the blankets. Lacie crept slowly closer.

“I’m sorry dear, I just—ah I’m a mess,” the woman said with a tearful smile.

Lacie smiled gently. “It’s fine. I’m Lacie.”

The woman sniffed. “The names Marie,” she looked down at the bundle of blankets, “the little one is Beatrice,”

“Hello Marie,” Lacie nodded at the baby, “Beatrice.”

Marie stroked the blankets softly. Lacie knew she was there and wondered why Jack wasn’t. Then she remembered she didn’t care.

“What’s wrong?” Lacie asked, stepping closer to Marie.

Marie let out a sob. “I just—my baby, I don’t want her to become a chain, please, you have to do something! Save her, she’s only a few weeks old…she doesn’t deserve this!”

Lacie felt her heart twinge. There had been so many people living in Sablier, man, woman, and child. They were all either slaughtered by her Baskerville’s, or left to suffer the fate of turning into monsters. Marie was right, no one deserved this. And Jack had brought this upon everyone. Lacie fought the urge to clench her fists as anger quelled inside her. Her hatred at Jack only burned brighter. This was why Jack hadn’t deigned to make an appearance. He was too cowardly to see what damage he had wreaked on Lacie’s people.

Lacie bent down in front of Marie. “It’s alright, I’ll find a way to save your baby. I promise.” She had no idea how, but she would find a way. Maybe Ariella would agree to take the baby along with them when they found an exit portal. Something.

Lacie reached out to put a hand on Marie’s shoulder to comfort her, when Marie grabbed her wrist. Lacie gasped and Marie stood up, dropping the blankets. They tumbled into the black liquid, empty. There was no baby. There never had been. Lacie looked up at Marie, who was grinning so widely that her skin was actually tearing and her eyes had turned to black pits.

“Oh will you now?” Marie said in a raspy voice. Black blood dripped down her chin. She lifted her free arm and it transformed, the cloth of her sleeve ripping and her skin blistering. Her fingers outstretched and swelled. Her nails sharpened into hardened claws. She raised her monstrous arm to strike Lacie and she briefly heard someone shout her name before she was knocked out of the way.

Jack pushed Lacie out of the way of Marie’s claws just in time and shielded her with his body. Marie’s claws dug into his back and he grunted, but kept his arms wrapped tightly around Lacie.

“Ah, the bastard _hero_ has decided to make an appearance! Uwee hee hee, how delightful!” Marie chortled, “I was waiting for this.”


	22. Not to be Taken Out of Context

 Jack breathed heavily. The pain in his back barely registered with all the adrenaline coursing through his veins. He powered up B-Rabbit and hoped against hope that it would work. Marie jumped into the air and lunged at them, her split mouth open wide and revealing razor sharp teeth. Jack shot a burst of red light at the chain, which seemed to engulf it in an encompassing glow. The chains skin cracked and splintered, then it burst apart in a flash of red light and was disintegrated. Ash rained down from the sky. Jack watched the smoke and the ash dissipate for a few seconds before he realized the position he was in, and was suddenly acutely aware of Lacie nestling her face in his chest. He still had his arm tightly wrapped around her and quickly released her, fumbling as he backed away nervously, and then wincing as his wound painfully.

If Jack didn’t know any better, he could have sworn he saw concern flash across Lacie’s face before she washed it away. He tried to sit up but his wound made it difficult, so he rested on his elbows. He was breathing heavily, even more now that the adrenaline was starting to wear off and he could feel the pain in his back start to creep up his nerves.

“Are you…all right?” he asked between breaths. His vision was starting to blur but he forced himself to focus on Lacies face.

Lacie opened her mouth to say something but her words were cut short as Jack’s arms gave out and he collapsed, splashing black liquid. He was immediately trying to get himself back up, on shaking arms, and Lacie heard him curse under his breath. He was basically panting as he tried to push himself off the ground and he twisted so that his back was facing her just long enough for her to get a glimpse of the  three red gashes running the full length of his back. Lacie gasped and her hand involuntarily went to cover her mouth. Jack was breathing heavily and was still conscious, but Lacie figured that wouldn’t last very long. His green jacket bloomed with ever-growing red, and it worried her. She hated that he had that effect on her.

Ariella came running around the corner and her eyes widened with shock upon seeing Jack lying face down on the ground, his back splattered with blood. She and Lacie exchanged worried looks. Ariella ran up to Jack and crouched down before him.

“What happened?” Ariella asked, wide-eyed and frantic.

“A chain…” Lacie trailed off. She didn’t want to say that Jack had saved her. That she would have been dead if he hadn’t pushed her out of the way. That he got this massive gash because he protected her, and she didn’t get a single scratch. And how afterwards he had looked at her with such concern, asking if she was okay, like she was the one gouged by a crazy chain.

She hated that it made her angry how much he didn’t care for himself.

Ariella looked at Jack worriedly before ghosting her hands over his wounds. “Come on, dammit, wake up,” she murmured. Her hands began emanating an orange glow and she continued hovering them over the gashes on Jack back. Within seconds they had already begun to close up and Lacie was really grateful Ariella had healing magic. Then she reminded herself that she didn’t care about Jack’s safety. _Let him suffer in pain_ , she thought. _He deserves it._ She didn’t believe it, but she would keep trying to until she did. She was angry at him, that much was true. And she would make sure he never forgot it. But it was so hard for her to deny that she had loved him. She couldn’t erase that, but she couldn’t erase this new anger either.

Jack groaned and shifted, and Ariella helped him sit up slowly. He looked disoriented, but Ariella’s magic had done its work and Jack’s wounds were fully healed. Jack rubbed his forehead.

“Is…is Lacie okay?” he mumbled tiredly.

_Bastard_ , Lacie thought, _how dare he make this harder than it needs to be_.

“Yes, you’re quite the hero, aren’t you?” Lacie said sharply.

Jack’s head drooped slightly before he recovered himself. He straightened out and stood up before Ariella could help him, and mumbled something about needing to continue moving to find the _Ciasstolas_. Then he stalked off without another word.

Lacie could sense Jack’s discomfort as they walked. The way he held himself, standing ramrod-straight with his hands clasped tightly behind his back; he was too stiff and jerky for it not to be obvious. He was obviously out of practice with putting on a cheery front, because all Lacie was getting was solemn regret. She knew this all must’ve been affecting him, the way she was acting towards him. She wasn’t going to stop— _absolutely_ not—she _was_ still furious with Jack and she would let him know that until she wasn’t. But seeing as how her brother and daughter and basically her entire livelihood, not to mention that of all of Sablier’s, was gone, Lacie wasn’t in a very forgiving mood. But she knew something that a lot of people didn’t—Jack wasn’t heartless at all. He wasn’t some sociopathic monster that felt nothing—or at least, Lacie had thought so—he actually felt things on a much deeper level than people realized. It just came off as crazy because he didn’t know what to do with all of it. He was just so irreparably _damaged_ that the way he expressed things, the way he acted was…unpredictable.

Lacie could understand that though. Jack had told her about his parents, not much, but enough for Lacie to know that Jack didn’t come from a place of sunshine. The abusive mother that blamed all her faults and foolishness on Jack and the careless father who never bothered to save him from it all. He looked the part of cheerful prince, but he had wounds so deep that nothing Lacie could do would ever heal them. Lacie had never known her parents, but from what Jack had told her, if they were anything like his then maybe she didn’t want to. She had pitied him then, but she didn’t feel bad for him, not now. Not after what he had done to her family. She could never forgive him for that.

“Can’t you just call the _Ciasstolas_ and tell them to come?” Jack asked Ariella exasperatedly.

“Yes let me just shout into the void and have them come running,” Ariella said sarcastically, “they summon _me_ , not the other way around. And they haven’t been particularly trusting of me lately since I’ve been helping you.”

“You could offer Jack as bait,” Lacie said nonchalantly from behind, slipping into the conversation easily.

“You’d like that wouldn’t you,” Jack snapped before he realized what he had said. He promptly closed his mouth and bit his tongue for having spoken to Lacie that way. He had no right to snap at her.

Lacie’s eyes widened marginally but she tried not to let her surprise show. Jack had never snapped at her before. He always did everything he could to please her, often at his own expense. He had always thought their relationship was as fragile as a dandelion in the breeze; if he made one wrong move then she was going to turn her back on him forever. She had tried to explain to him then that she wouldn’t be so easily angered, but now, it was hard to say. She _was_ angry. And she had good reason to be.

Ariella put a hand out to draw their attention back to her. “Um, not to be rude, but that’s actually a pretty good idea,” she said. Jack looked betrayed. “Well it is!” Ariella put her hands up in defense, “The _Ciasstolas_ want nothing more than to see Jack suffer, so we can just offer him up as easy prey and they’ll come right to us.”

Jack crossed his arms over his chest, slightly miffed about the idea of being used as bait. “Then what do we do?”

Ariella tried to placate him. “Don’t worry, we’ll get you out of there before they can hurt you. Then I can pull Mattrich aside and ask her to call the Will of the Abyss.”

Lacie raised an eyebrow. Jack looked incredulous.

“And she’ll just…agree to all this? Because you asked her?” Lacie asked.

Ariella opened her mouth and then closed it.

“I can ask her,” Jack said with a devious smirk. He wiggled his fingers and they sparked with red light. Ariella gave him a sideways glance.

“Mattrich has a mirror that can contact the Will of the Abyss, we can steal that and call her ourselves,” Ariella said.

“That doesn’t sound too hard,” Lacie said.

“Except for the fact that Mattrich has powerful magic. She’s the _Magjistare_ of the _Ciasstolas_ and has the most power granted to her by the Will of the Abyss out of all of us,” Ariella explained.

Jack shrugged casually. “I have B-Rabbit.”

“Well I guess we can just get started now that we have _Mr. Confidence_ with us,” Ariella said with an eye roll.

“Bring Lacie back to the house and then you can use me as bait for the _Ciasstolas_ ,” Jack said to Ariella, ignoring her jibe.

Lacie put a hand on her hip. “Absolutely not! If we’re going to do this, we’re going to do it together.”

Jack looked conflicted. “It’s for your own safety,” he said, and it wasn’t technically a lie.

He didn’t want her around the _Ciasstolas_ because they might attack her. He wanted to keep her safe, but he also didn’t want her around to witness him slaughter all the _Ciasstolas_ with B-Rabbits power. It probably didn’t even matter since Lacie had already seen how deep in sin he waded during the Tragedy of Sablier. This wouldn’t be anything new, then, but still, Jack didn’t want her to see him commit any more acts of brutality. It was different in person than it was in a memory, or a vision. She would be able to feel the heat of B rabbit’s power and see the blood rain down from the skies. Jack was momentarily reminded of when he first met her, and she danced in the blood rain like it was the most beautiful thing in the world. She didn’t scare easily, Jack knew that, but she hated fiercely and with a passion. Jack didn’t suppose he had much of an image left, but he was too prideful to let go of what little dignity he had left. And despite all the strife he had caused her, he was selfish and foolish and he wished Lacie wouldn’t see him as a monster.

“You are a coward, Jack Vessalius,” Lacie spat, red eyes narrowed. It was as if she could see every thought that passed through his mind.  

Jack swallowed thickly but said nothing. He refused to look away, even though he wanted to.

“You can stay,” Ariella nodded to Lacie, unperturbed by hers and Jack’s spat, “I’m going to have to join the _Ciasstolas_ so I need someone to help free Jack.”

Ariella pretended not to notice the death glare Jack was giving her and had to try very hard to keep the smirk off her face.

 

“Is this really necessary?” Jack grumbled, struggling to move as Ariella tied his hands behind his back.

“Oh come on,” Ariella said with a smirk, “don’t tell me you and Lacie haven’t done something like this before.”

Lacie burst out into peals of laughter.

“Wha—I, no—uh—“ Jack spluttered.

His cheeks burned and he could feel his face turning red, which only served to make Lacie laugh even harder. She put her hand over her mouth like she could try and stop her snickering, but Jack seemed to shrink in on himself and it only made her laugh harder. His embarrassed expression reminded her of the foolish boy who once tried to climb the vines leading up to her window, only to find himself falling into a thorn bush and giving her the goofiest smile.

Lacie shook her head and tried to calm her laughter. She went back to her task of tying up Jack’s feet—an odd thing to do to an ex-lover without the given context. They needed to tie him up to make it look like they were really offering him up to the _Ciasstolas_ , and him being immobilized made him easy prey for them. Ariella had said they wouldn’t be able to resist.

Lacie’s knot had come undone while she had been in her fit of laughter and she had to start over.

They would have to wait for the _Ciasstolas_ to show up, but Ariella told them that they had a looking glass to watch over events that happened in certain outside areas of the Abyss, one of which was the Sablier ruins. They would see Jack left for dead out in the sea of nothingness, swoop in to torment him, and Ariella would join them to get a hold of Mattrich’s mirror and Lacie would free Jack. That was the plan anyway, Lacie wasn’t sure whether or not it would work.

She finished tying up Jack’s feet and stood up, going to stand with Ariella. They both looked down at Jack and both girls had to fight the urge to laugh at the sight of him tied up on the ground. Jack glared up at them.

“Be ready to cut me loose when the _Ciasstolas_ arrive, alright?” he said bitterly.

Ariella grinned at him. “I mean, I might wait just a few minutes…” she said mockingly. Jack narrowed his eyes. Lacie snickered as she walked away.


	23. No Mercy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: slight sexual content in this chapter, nothing too bad and only in like one paragraph, but still. Shield your eyes smol children.

Jack rested his head on the Abyss floor and tried to keep the black goo off his face. It slid right off him when he moved but it was still disconcerting to be submerged in it. Although, after being submerged in blood, this was a lot less frightening. Jack shivered, remembering that pond. He tried not to think of all the gruesome trials after the fact, otherwise he would go even more insane. But he wasn’t given much leeway in terms of distractions at present. Lacie and Ariella had left him a while ago so that he might lure the _Ciasstolas_ to him—they had hidden in a building not far from where Jack lay, but far enough so that the _Ciasstolas_ wouldn’t sense them when they came—and Jack was, to say, _bored_. He couldn’t move in his binds, so he was resigned to just lying there and staring up at the murky greenish gray sky. It was eerily silent. No sound resonated in the misty atmosphere of the Abyss, all absorbed by the black goo. And so, his mind turned to all sorts of dreadful things.

The trials were the least of it. Those he could manage, Jack knew he deserved them. But _oh_ , the visions of the tragedy, they would never _cease_. It was endless; ever since that day all he could see when he closed his eyes were the flames and the blood. Alice with scissors in her neck and blood all down her dress. Oswald’s headless body lying limp on the ground. The beautiful red and gold eyes of a boy that was cheated by the world, just like Jack had been; a boy that Jack might have cared for once. A slash of a sword on a noble little boy trying to protect his master; the sight of the city painted red. Jack squeezed his eyes shut and tried to get rid of the images, and the pain in his heart. But it only served to replace the thoughts with another memory on Jack’s long list of failures. Lacie screaming that she hated him—God, that _hurt_ —but it served as a reminder of how his mother used to scream at him for being a bastard.

That was always her favorite insult.

_How terribly uncreative_ , Jack thought bitterly.

“Well, well, well,” an obnoxious female voice said, “all dressed up and nowhere to go,” the white _Ciasstolas_ lightly kicked Jack’s side, “who’s the lucky girl? Oh wait, I am!” she chortled.

“Lovely to see you lot again,” Jack said abrasively.

Another _Ciasstolas_ stepped up to Jack on the opposite side as the other one. “Yes, yes, how fortunate we were able to find you. You best thank us, or you would have been left to the chains all tied up here like this!”

“Yes, being ripped apart by a hoard of chains is truly unpleasant, I would know,” Jack said bitterly and lifted his head to give the _Ciasstolas_ a curt smile.

Another _Ciasstolas_ laughed. “Oh, the bastard has a sense of humor!” she clapped her hands together, “fantastic!”

“This will be fun,” said another _Ciasstolas_.

The _Ciasstolas_ to Jack’s side smiled darkly as she looked down upon him. “Yes, yes it will.”

Lacie remained under the cover of shadows, moving from building to building, and hiding in the darkness cast by crumbling walls. She had to get to Jack without being seen by the _Ciasstolas_ , then somehow free him while Ariella got the mirror from Mattrich. Easy enough, Lacie told herself. These _Ciasstolas_ were powerful, but so were her Baskervilles, and she disobeyed them all the time. She had lost track of the number of times she had slipped past them, she sometimes thought they let her escape on purpose. These _Ciasstolas_ were nothing. She was always up for a good adventure.

She was on her own though, since Ariella had gone to play her part. Lacie had seen Ariella in her _Ciasstolas_ outfit, and it was…disturbing, to say the least. It had taken a lot of explaining on Ariella’s part for that to finally sink in.

Lacie skulked closer and peeked out from behind a shed. She could just barely hear what the _Ciasstolas_ were saying. They were taunting him, insulting him, carelessly flinging around the terms that would most hurt Jack.

_Bastard._

_Monster._

_Hero._

All things he had heard so, so many times.

Lacie shook her head, she needed to focus. And besides, what did she care if they insulted Jack? He deserved it, and he had done a lot worse than throw around a few petty names.

She continued on her shadowy path to infiltrate the circle of _Ciasstolas_ , and she saw they were all gathered around Jack. It would take a lot to get past them. She would need a distraction, so she picked up a loose brick and heaved it as far from herself as she could, right into the already broken window of a blue house. It made a loud crash and Lacie ducked right as the _Ciasstolas_ turned to look.

None of them made a sound. Lacie could hear her heart beating.

One _Ciasstolas_ nudged her chin in the direction of the sound, and another nodded. The _Ciasstolas_ tip toed carefully towards the noise ever so slowly. Then, with one swift movement, a _Ciasstolas_ Lacie hadn’t seen reached down and grabbed her by the hair and dragged her to stand. Jack tried to move his head to see what was happening, but a _Ciasstolas_ placed her foot on the side of Jack’s head, keeping him in place.

“What did you find, Warrigan?” called to the _Ciasstolas_ who had Lacie.

“Looks we got ourselves a child of misfortune,” Warrigan said, laughing.

Jack squirmed under Dietry’s boot. “No!” he yelled, “let her go!”

All the _Ciasstolas_ around him laughed. Warrigan brought a struggling Lacie over to Jack and threw her down on the ground beside him. Lacie yelped in pain and fury bubbled within Jack. He moved to get out from underneath the _Ciasstolas’_ boot, but another _Ciasstolas_ kicked hard him in the ribs. Jack grunted and Lacie called out _no_ without thinking, then shut her mouth. Jack gritted his teeth against the pain but was glad Lacie still cared. He needed to get her out of here before the _Ciasstolas_ hurt her.

“You let her go right now!” Jack shouted. “Don’t you dare hurt her!”

“Or what?” Dietry said, smiling as she stood over Jack.

“Whatcha’ gonna do, _monster_?” one _Ciasstolas_ taunted.

“Arentcha’ gonna save your little princess?” another said.

“That bastard can’t save anyone!” one said, delivering a swift kick to Jack’s stomach. Jack groaned and cursed, gritting his teeth.

“Come on, be a _hero_ ,” another said, kicking Jack in the ribs.

“Monsters can’t be heroes.” A kick to the face. Jack’s head snapped back and Dietry removed her boot from his head. Jack could feel blood dripping from his nose and over his lips.

If he powered up B-Rabbit, he could incinerate all of them right here and now. They would be done with this ridiculous farce, and Jack wouldn’t have to deal with them any longer. But no, He couldn’t hurt them. Not here, not with Lacie watching. He didn’t want her to see. She had already seen how evil he was in the tragedy, how terrible he could be, and Jack didn’t want her to see him like that ever again. Oh, he would get his revenge on the _Ciasstolas_ eventually, just not with Lacie watching. But he needed to get her to safety…

Jack was wrenched from his worries as a _Ciasstolas_ kicked him in the back of the head. Jack clenched his jaw at the blooming headache but repressed a groan.

“Is the bastard going to save the little wench?” one _Ciasstolas_ taunted.

The others laughed. More kicks to Jack’s already bruised body.

“Bastard!”

“Monster!”

“Save her!”

“Save the bitch, hero of Sablier!”

More laughter. More kicks.

Jack’s blood boiled.

One _Ciasstolas_ bent down and slapped Jack across the face. The others laughed.

“Just like mummy used to do it!” they cackled.

They snickered. Jack heard his blood pumping in his ears. His fists were quivering. He could easily break the ropes if he wanted to. _Oh, he wanted to…_

Liena sat Jack up and ran her hand sensuously through his hair, the other hand went to his pants. She moaned and leaned in close to him, pressing his restrained body to hers.

“Go on, be a bad boy for me,” she licked his face and whispered in his ear, “You disgusting little whore.”

Jack snapped her neck.

Her body fell limply to the floor.

He didn’t feel anything. Not anger, rage, or white hot fury.

It was…strangely cold.

The ropes used to bind him burnt away and Jack rose to his feet. He raised his glowing red hands to the _Ciasstolas_ surrounding him, daring them to come closer so he could tear them all apart. They were arrogant, angry, foolish, and Jack knew how to manipulate that. They stood there for not one moment before lunging at him, or shooting their own wretched magic at him, which he effectively dodged. One after another, the _Ciasstolas_ disintegrated into nothing.

Jack didn’t feel a thing. His eyes glazed over and he made no changes to his expression, even as he used B-rabbits power to blow the head off of a _Ciasstolas_. He didn’t even think about what he was doing. His only thought was to eliminate all the _Ciasstolas_ he could get to.

_Kill them all. No mercy._

The _Ciasstolas_ scattered. They ran in all directions, and Jack stood amongst a sea of white-cloaked chaos. He shot of bursts of power randomly into the atmosphere and didn’t care where at all they went, if only they might catch an escaping Ciasstolas. Then, he felt a sudden pressure on the back of his shoulder and he froze.

“Jack,” Lacie said, and that was all it took.

Jack was snapped back into reality and was finally able to see what he was doing. He had been blind to all this destruction he was causing… it was horrible. _Ciasstolas_ were running around in panic amongst singed white feathers that rained down from the sky and flames from B-Rabbits power scorched almost every nearby building. Jack felt sick to his stomach.

_Was this how it was with the tragedy?_

How could he just lose control like that?

_Ohgodohgodohgod and Lacie saw she saw she saw she saw nonononono don’t look don’t see_

Jack felt himself breathing heavily. He moved away from Lacie’s touch. He didn’t deserve such kindness.

_Monster!_ A voice shouted in his head.

Jack suddenly felt very weak. His legs wobbled and he couldn’t hold himself up anymore and fell to his knees. He didn’t feel any inclination to get up.

 

Jack bent over himself so that his chin was tucked to his chest and his forehead was nearly touching the floor. He threaded his hands haphazardly through his hair, clutching whole fistfuls and pulling. It stung and ripped and he kept pulling because he deserved it he was a monster a terrible horrible monster and Lacie hated him she had seen him destroy so much so much so much.

That was his only purpose. To destroy.

Jack couldn’t breathe.

_Why did you do it, monster?_

The voice in his head laughed at him.

Jack whimpered loudly. Dread and despair and guilt flooded him in waves. Black smoke seemed to cloud his vision and he hoped it meant he was losing consciousness.

He felt a hand lightly settle on his back, and with that, everything ceased. No more awful thoughts, all the emotions clouding his mind; everything seemed to just wash away with that single touch. Jack slowly looked behind him to see Lacie standing there with her hand on his back, looking down at him with sad, yet understanding eyes.

She wasn’t mad at him?

Jack took a quivering breath and shakily raised himself to his feet. He turned around to face Lacie. She still had not said a word, but Jack thought, she didn’t need to. She had always been so good at communicating with her eyes. They looked at each other for a long moment and Jack felt the smallest sliver hope kindle within him—maybe, just maybe, he could restore Lacie’s trust in him. That she could love him again.

A selfish dream, but one Jack hoped for anyway.

“Hey! I got the mirror!” Ariella called to them from a distance, destroying the moment.

Ariella ran up to the two of them holding a silver hand mirror with an ornate handle, adorned with a smooth glass gem. She proudly held it up in the air next to her head. Lacie took it and curiously turned it over in her hands.

“Now we can contact the Will of the Abyss and get out of here!” Lacie exclaimed.

“Not so fast,” a voice tsked from behind them.

Jack whirled around to come face to face with the devilish woman in the spidery dress, Mattrich. She strode confidently up to them, stopping a few feet away and putting a hand on her hip. She smiled at them, showing teeth.

“Don’t be leaving us so soon,” she pouted. She stuck her bottom lip out but it soon transformed into a foul sneer. She threw her arms up in the air and the loose black cloth of her sleeves rippled. Lightning crackled, illuminating her from behind and dark casting shadows on her face. She looked positively wicked.

Jack set his jaw and was ready to power up B-Rabbit when Mattrich abruptly shot her hand out at Lacie, sending a bolt of black magic straight for her.

“No!” Jack screamed hoarsely, his body already lunging before he even realized what he was doing. He dived in front of the stream of onyx sorcery, and it hit him dead in the center of his chest. Jack was met with freezing cold spreading throughout his entire body, like pins and needles being injected into his bloodstream. He felt his body fall to the ground, but the impact barely registered to him, nor did the resounding splash he made in the black liquid of the Abyss floor. He cast his gaze up at Lacie, seeing her shocked and horrified expression blur into darkness. Jack tried to reach out for her, to call out to her, to do _something_ , but he found that he was paralyzed. He was frozen. The world seemed rapidly darkening, and he realized he was fading. He felt himself sinking deeper into darkness, and then all he could see was black.

And that was all there was for a while.


	24. Be Your Shadow

When Jack awoke, he thought he was still dreaming. It was entirely pitch black in every direction, and even with his bleary eyes he could tell there wasn’t much to see anyway. He slowly sat up, propping himself up with his arms, and he noticed that the oily liquid was no longer there. It felt like he was sitting on glass. Jack’s vision cleared slightly, but he couldn’t tell if he was looking any further than his hand. The scenery had disappeared and it looked like he had gotten sucked into some sort of void. It was all just…darkness. And not the kind of darkness that comes from closing all the curtains, or from a night of a new moon, no, this was _absence_. No more crumbling buildings and floating debris, no furniture and toys scattered throughout the atmosphere. He couldn’t even see the glass floor he was sitting on, or anything beneath it. It was all just…nothingness.

Then he remembered.

He had dived in front of Mattrich’s spell to save Lacie and had gotten himself hit in the process. Was this what she had done to him? Sent him spiraling into the void? _Probably wanted that to happen_ , Jack thought bitterly. It would be triflingly difficult to escape this, when he was just sitting on nothing, with a vacuum around him. Jack felt the ground and it was solid, smooth and cold, like glass. It wasn’t at all like the liquid floors he had encountered while he was traveling, but the Abyss had mysterious ways. There were all sorts of unknown and hard to get to pockets that held all manner of secrets. Jack figured Mattrich must have sent him to one. The only thing was, how was he going to escape.

Jack was momentarily distracted from his internal inquiries by an echoing sound off in the distance. The sound resonated in the empty space and Jack could clearly pinpoint it as footsteps, but not the direction they were coming from. He wasn’t alone, although, given his location, he didn’t think that was a good thing. The footsteps echoed in the empty space and seemed to come from every direction, and in the blackness, Jack couldn’t see a thing. He didn’t know where this mystery assailant was coming from, or how close they were.

Until Jack heard a snap of fingers, and there was light.

Jack gasped and his hand went to cover his mouth.

A figure emerged from the darkness, shadows cast over his face. His green eyes glinted with malevolence, and he grinned widely. He twirled a strand of blonde hair around his fingers, tilting his head to the side.

“Hello, Jack,” the man said.

_Impossible,_ Jack thought, frantic.

The man dropped the strand of hair he was twirling and held up his pointer finger like he had just gotten an idea. “This is the Abyss. Is anything _really_ impossible here?”  

Jack shook his head wildly. His eyes were wide with fear. “You’re not real,” Jack said shakily, pointing a quivering finger at the man.

The corners of the man’s lips twitched. “Oh really?” he bent down slightly and looked Jack in the eyes, “because you are,” he bent back and laughed, wildly and madly.

“Who are you!?” Jack screamed, leaping to his feet.

 The man darted at him with astounding celerity, grabbing Jack’s chin in his hand. He whispered in Jack’s ear, “I am you, Jack.”

Jack wrenched his face away from the man’s grip and refused to look at him. He looked almost exactly like Jack, although from a different time. Jack recognized that look, it was how he remembered himself from during the tragedy. The hard planes of his face ached with desperation and his eyes were sharp with madness; his smile was wide and lopsided, confusing obsession with love and selfishness with happiness. Uncaring, cold, and guiltless. Not even fully aware of what was going on, everything moving in a blur, in one long, drawn out, horrific—Jack bit his lip until he tasted that coppery tang, and the sting drove him out of his terrified reverie.

“Scared?” the pseudo-Jack asked.

Jack glared at the man with fiery hatred, hoping that would mask the terror he felt. The second Jack winked at him.

“You should be.”

The man stood up straighter and towered over Jack, distorted by the unreality of the Abyss. He held his arms out and tilted his head back towards the sky. “I am your darkness manifested, Jack. I am everything you are, all that hatred and anger and obsession, all the loneliness and bitterness and _destruction_ ,” he dropped his arms to his sides and looked at Jack menacingly, “you are _nothing_ without me.”

Jack balled his hands into fists and tried to summon B-Rabbit, but the dark Jack waved a hand dismissively at him and gave an annoyed huff. Apparently, magic didn’t work in this dimension, so Jack was out of luck. He was going to have to do this old fashioned way and beat the man to death.

“Shut up,” Jack grumbled, his jaw clenched.

The darkness laughed at him. “I will _consume_ you.”

“I said _shut up_!” Jack shouted.

 He swiftly got up and lunged for the darkness clone. The man dissipated into black smoke and Jack fell forward through empty space, falling to his knees on the invisible glass floor. He jumped up and spun around to see the black smoke materialize back into the dark Jack’s body, completely unharmed and still as cocky as ever. Jack lunged at him again. Probably not the smartest move, but Jack was boiling with rage and fear and emotions had always gotten in the way of him making good judgements. As soon as Jack got to where the clone was, it dissipated into black smoke again and Jack swung his arms wildly in the empty space. He might as well have been trying to capture _air_.

“You never were very bright,” the clone said from behind him.

Jack spun around and saw him holding two silver swords with black handles. He was leaning on one of them like it was a cane, casually spinning the other from its center point on the ground. Jack narrowed his eyes suspiciously, and the Darkness Clone grinned at him. The Darkness stopped spinning the sword and held it up, pointing the blade towards the nonexistent, black sky and pretending to inspect it. Then, he threw the sword at Jack and he almost ducked, thinking the sword would pierce him straight through the heart. Instead, it landed directly in front of Jack’s feet, clanging on the glass floor. Jack could feel the humiliation at his cowardice heat up his insides but he pushed it aside.

Jack bent down to pick up the sword and accept whatever archaic challenge the clone wanted him to compete in. but when his fingers laced around the black, thorny handle he noticed something on the floor. It was no longer endless blackness, but was displaying the house he had been staying at with Lacie and Ariella, and Jack could see himself lying in one of the beds, asleep. Lacie and Ariella sat next to the bed with worried, solemn expressions. Ariella gingerly held his hand while Lacie placed a cloth on his forehead and brushed her fingers tenderly against his golden bangs.

Jack looked to the Darkness. “What is this?” he asked hoarsely.

The Darkness gestured to the glass floor. “That is the Abyss, of course. Well, a more easily accessible part of it anyway,” he explained nonchalantly.

“Why are—“ Jack started to say, but choked on his words.

“Your _friends_ there? Are you worried about them? How _sweet_.” the Darkness was patronizing him. “They won’t stay with you long though. You know everyone is bound to leave you eventually.”

Jack balled his hands into fists. “Lacie never left,” he said lamely, just hoping he could prove something to this clone, and to himself. That there was someone out there that wouldn’t leave him.

“Lacie hates you!” the Darkness burst out laughing. “I am going to kill you here, and she will forget about you and move on with whatever’s left of her life. No one is going to care about your death. Hell, the whole Abyss will celebrate!”

Jack looked stricken. What the Darkness was saying rang true with Jack, for the most part. He knew that he was hated by many, and forgettable only if not for the deep sins he committed. He wasn’t perfect, or heroic, or brave; he was a malicious entity that was unsteady on his own two feet and ignorant to the lives of others. The whole Abyss probably would celebrate his death, especially those damn _Ciasstolas_. But he saw Lacie and Ariella sitting with him as his body slept, and he knew that even if the whole world celebrated his death, there would be two that would mourn. He didn’t want them to have to. If he was here in this dreadful darkness but also there at the same time, Ariella and Lacie must think he was dead. He needed to get back to them and tell them he was all right. He was done with upsetting them.

Jack picked up the swords hilt and raised it over the glass floor, ignoring the Darkness Clones laughter. He thrust the sword, point perpendicular to the ground, down onto the glass expecting it to crack, but the sword just rang against the glass with a resounding, high pitched chirp. It didn’t even leave a scratch. Jack stood there bewildered for a few seconds before trying again, and again. He grew increasingly more frustrated each time he brought the sword down, making more and more careless swings. Anything he could to try and break through that glass and get back to Lacie. He threw the sword down and started pounding on the glass with his fists, screaming for Ariella and Lacie to hear him.

The Darkness ceased its laughter and lunged at Jack, and kicked him hard in the side. Jack fell back and was surprised at what just happened. He stared at the Darkness, who was seething with rage and shaking closed fists at his sides.

“You imbecile!” the Darkness shouted, green eyes glowing.

He tossed Jack’s abandoned sword at him and it hit Jack square in the chest. “Fight me, you fool!” the mercurial Darkness screamed at him.

Jack picked up the sword and stood up. He pointed the blade at the Darkness, eyes narrowed, ready to fight. The Darkness wasted no time with squaring around Jack and went straight for his heart, right from the start.

 “Why are you doing this?” Jack yelled as he dodged out of the way of the Darkness’s first attack.

“The Will of the Abyss wants you to be rid of your darkness!” the Darkness yelled back as he swerved, easily avoiding Jack’s parry.

They both pointed their blades at each other, but Jack was the only one who seemed the least bit winded.

“Which is impossible, because you’ll never defeat me,” the Darkness said confidently.

“Oh yea?” Jack said as he lunged again at the darkness, swinging his sword to lob off its head. It was a good swing, and the darkness was too arrogant to pay full attention to what he was doing, and Jack was sure he had him. just as the sword was about to connect with flesh or smoke—whatever that thing was made out of--the Darkness dissipated into black smoke and re-emerged to Jack’s side. It smirked at him.

Jack growled low in his throat. This was going to be a lot more frustrating than he anticipated, but then again, Alyss never did anything halfway. He swung his sword at the Darkness again, but just as the Darkness was about to disappear, Jack swung the sword in the other direction. The Darkness was lightning fast, darting in another direction and narrowly avoiding a killing blow. Jack only managed to scratch its left arm. The corner of its lips twitched and Jack couldn’t tell if it was trying to smile or snarl. It nodded to the cut, looking almost impressed.

“Clever; I’ll give you that. But I’m powerful, Jack. You’ve got a whole lot of darkness in you.”

Jack spun around and his coat flared dramatically behind him. He swung the sword at the Darkness and it ducked out of the way, barely holding its own sword up to block Jack’s swing. The darkness swung at Jack and clipped him on the shoulder, slicing his already-torn jacket. Red blood seeped from the wound. Jack shot the darkness a menacing glare before trying his next swing. He tried getting the darkness from the side but it evaporated into smoke again, only to reappear on the other side, uninjured.

Jack wanted to yell at his clone. He was getting frustrated with its evasive maneuvers of disappearing. He needed to get back to Lacie and Ariella, who were probably worried sick that he had died. He held his weapon firmly in front of him to block any advances made by the darkness, but his arms were starting to tire. He tried not to show his fatigue and steadied himself, but he hoped this wouldn’t continue any longer.

“That, and a whole lot of determination,” Jack swung at the Darkness again, this time with as much force as he could manage. “No one is going to stop me from being with Lacie, not this time.” He swung the sword and it was met with the _clang_ of metal on metal as it hit the Darkness’s sword. “Not you, not the Will of the Abyss, not _anyone_.”

The Darkness glared steadily at Jack. It evaporated again but Jack was ready this time. He spun around while the Darkness was still dissolving into smoke, and in that split second, thrust his sword out at the open air. The darkness materialized before it without having the control to stop it, and was too surprised to block Jack’s blow in time. Jack stopped his sword right as the tip pointing at the flesh of the darkness’s throat, and Jack glared intensely at him. The darkness set its jaw and slowly lowered itself to one knee, with Jack’s sword following it the whole way.

“Well, looks like you beat me,” it laughed darkly.

Jack remained emotionless as he stared down at his clone kneeling before him. “It appears I have.” He kept the sword positioned on the darkness’s neck while they both glared at each other, a mirror of expressions.

“Well then, what are you waiting for?” the darkness hissed. “Do it, kill me.”

Jack’s eyes widened momentarily but he forced himself to remain stoic.

The darkness bared its teeth. “Do it!” it yelled, “kill me!”

There was no more confidence or bravado, no more smirks and snarky remarks. It all anger, all rage; the components of Jack’s soul stripped bare and left out in the open, instead of being buried deep within him under layers of lies and left to fester and rot under so much weight.

Jack felt pity for the clone. Which was kind of strange, considering it was technically himself. Well, he always was one for self-pity. He looked down at it kneeling there, with its manic, angry expression; all desperation and loneliness with nothing but lies to fill its mind and soul. Jack remembered what that was like, and he never wanted to go back.

“Do it!” the Darkness screamed, its voice hoarse and desperate. It stuck its neck out slightly and a small jewel of blood formed at the tip of Jack’s sword. Jack pulled back slightly.

He looked into its eyes, and he knew he couldn’t do this. Not because it was a clone of himself, but after what had happened with the _Ciasstolas_ and everything else, he never wanted to hurt anyone ever again. Jack put the sword back into its scabbard on his hip and looked down at the Darkness, now gazing up at him with confusion and disbelief.

“What are you doing?” it asked, its voice much lower than before.

Jack shrugged casually. “I’ve already beaten you, I don’t need to kill you,” he said and extended his hand to the Darkness.

The Darkness stared at it with astonishment and disbelief. “You’re a fool,” it said, then gave a wan smile.

“So I’ve been told,” Jack said as he gripped the Darkness’s hand and helped him up.

They started walking through the dark dimension, illuminated only by the glass floor displaying the outer layer of the Abyss, and the Darkness clone told Jack everything he needed to know. They were in a specialized inner layer of the Abyss, one that existed within himself and the entire universe at the same time. That once he was defeated, the Darkness would let Jack out of the dimension and he would wake up back in his body in the outer layer. The Darkness would not come around again, since it could only appear as black smoke in the outer layer. It was only able to manifest as a physical person in this dimension.

Then, the darkness suddenly grinned.

Jack didn’t have time to react as the darkness lunged at him, pushing him to the ground and squeezing Jack’s throat. It grinned madly at him, an insane glimmer in its eyes.

Jack recognized that look.

The darkness laughed. “Did you really think it would be that easy? That I would just _go away_?” it squeezed its hand tighter around Jack’s throat, “you cannot get rid of me! I am your darkness! You cannot _exist_ without me!” it screamed in Jack’s face.

It squeezed Jack’s throat tighter and he struggled to breathe. His lungs burned and he was gasping for breath but only filling his insides with more pain. Then, in the middle of its screaming rant, the Darkness gasped and stopped shouting.

“Oh, I think I can,” Jack said, staring into the Darkness’s wide eyes.

The darkness looked down to see Jack holding the hilt of his sword, with the blade piercing right through its heart.

Blood poured steadily from the wound and dripped all down the sides of the shiny metal blade, finally falling onto Jack’s coat and bathing him in crimson. The Darkness looked stunned and was frozen a moment. Jack only let go of the hilt of the sword when the Darkness started to teeter to the side. It crashed on its back with the blade still sticking out of its body. It looked to Jack one last time before its eyes slowly closed for the last time. Jack drew in a delicious gulp of air, and almost fell back on the glass himself. He was so exhausted, he could hardly keep his eyes open…

He felt himself falling asleep and the world around him blurred and brightened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow sorry I didn't upload for a year, in case anyone is actually reading this


	25. Never Miserable

His eyes flew open and he gasped at the rush of air in his lungs. It was so bright compared to the never-ending darkness of the inner dimension, the light from the window was blinding. It hurt his eyes and he squeezed them shut again, holding his arm over his face to shield himself from the light. He waited a few moments for his vision to adjust before he removed his arm from his face, and was met with the excited but worried stares of Lacie and Ariella.

“You’re okay!” Ariella exclaimed and hugged Jack tightly.

He barely had time to sit up, but he smiled tiredly.

“I knew you would beat it,” Ariella said, beaming at him.

Jack resisted the urge to roll his eyes; of course Ariella knew about the Darkness Clone. He wondered what other secrets she was keeping from him, in her duties as a _Ciasstolas_. The Will of the Abyss always was a clever one.

Jack nodded at her. “It’s good to know someone doesn’t doubt me.”

Ariella withdrew from Jack and for the first time, he noticed Lacie standing there by his bedside. She had her hands behind her back and was turned slightly to the side, looking down at the bedside table with nothing on it but some buttons from Jack’s coat. She seemed awkward standing there, which was completely uncharacteristic of Lacie. She was always this poise and elegant beauty, all mystique and intrigue, but now it seemed as if she didn’t know what to do. She didn’t say anything, which was also uncharacteristic of her, since she was boisterous and excited and loud by nature. Now she was quiet, contemplative, perhaps conflicted. Jack found it very cute but also incredibly awkward, knowing that her current state was caused by him.

That she still didn’t forgive him. Jack didn’t expect her to.

He didn’t know if she ever would, but the fact that she was here with him right now was good enough. It told him that he still had a chance, and that she hadn’t given up yet. She wouldn’t have been there if she didn’t care at least a little bit.

Ariella looked between the two, and then made an “o” with her mouth. She smiled and patted Jack’s shoulder, offering a “feel better,” before quickly scurrying out the door. She shut it behind her and Jack almost laughed at her hurried exit.

Except now he was alone with Lacie.

Jack didn’t know what to do about her. He had only ever wanted her to be happy, and now he had destroyed everything she ever loved. He wanted her to love him again— _he wanted so badly_ —but he knew she wouldn’t forgive him—at least not right away. He could accept that; he knew he needed to give her time and space to process everything. He wouldn’t push her. He wasn’t that selfish that he would force her to forgive him, but he did want her to be happy. That was all he wanted for her, because she made him happy.

Jack avoided looking at her and played with the bed sheets awkwardly. There was a moment of awkward silence before either of them spoke, because neither of them wanted to be the one to speak first.

Jack couldn’t take the silence anymore. “So…you came,” he said. Not the best, but at least it was something to break the silence.

Lacie turned away from the bed side table to look at Jack. “Yep,” she nodded curtly, also uncomfortable with the situation. Jack wondered if they were ever going to be able to just be themselves with each other again.

“I mean, I heard you had woken up so I…” Lacie trailed off.

Jack gave her a half smile, finally mustering up the courage to actually look her in the eyes. “You know, while I was out I was in some inner layer of the Abyss where I could see myself sleeping here,” he said.

Lacie’s eyes widened marginally but she quickly schooled her features back to politely interested and not at all concerned. She ran her thumb over the edge of her sleeve to smooth out some imaginary wrinkles. “Oh, did you? That’s interesting,” she said coolly.

“I saw you sitting with me,” Jack said, trying not to smile.

A muscle twitched in Lacie’s jaw and she stopped running her fingers over her sleeve, instead choosing to look out the window. Jack sighed and stood up. Lacie flinched, looking like she would take a step back, but she forced herself not to.

“I know you’re mad at me,” Jack said calmly.

Lacie looked at him, fire burning in her eyes and agitation all over her face. “Oh really? What gave you that indication?” she snapped.

“You don’t have to forgive me,” Jack looked down at his feet before looking back up at her, “but I just want you to know that all I ever wanted to do was make you happy.”

Lacie watched Jack as he spoke with such an earnest expression on his face and she could really see how much he’d changed. When she had known him back in Sablier, he was a lonely and unsteady, not to mention obsessively dependent, lying man. Now, here he was, confessing to her that he wanted nothing more than to make her happy, which, of course, she had known all along, but now it was true. In Sablier it had only been for selfish gain; he only wanted to make himself happy, and everything he did was for his own benefit. He was a terribly misguided individual with a twisted soul, and Lacie had liked that about him. The instability had made it interesting, and she had never met anyone quite as vulnerable as him.

 Now, here he was, made stronger and wiser and more understanding, and it finally felt as if he were _real_. He was no longer that unsteady liar who hid behind the masks and floated through existence, he was more grounded now, weighed down by past decisions but buoyed by hope. Lacie didn’t want to admit it, but she believed in him.

But every time she felt the slightest bit of sympathy or pride or anything for him, she was shot with a burst of images from the tragedy, of her daughters, of Oswald. She couldn’t forgive Jack for that. It stung her deeply, as she missed when the three of them were just friends without a care in the world. Things were much simpler then. Jack would somehow sneak into the Baskerville manor to see her and Oswald would get all riled up, but she knew he had been the one to show Jack the secret passageways in the first place. Lacie would take the initiative to grasp Jack’s hand while they were walking through the courtyard on a hot summer day, and Jack would blush like a schoolboy who had never been kissed. Lacie found it adorable. And of course, she took every opportunity she could to use it against him. For someone as manipulative as him, he was startling easy to manipulate. And then there was Oswald, who hadn’t liked Jack at first. Lacie could understand why; her brother had always been perceptive and could see there was something dark growing inside of Jack, but he ignored it. They were the best of friends after only a short while. Lacie missed that. All she had ever wanted was a family, and she had it. Her brother, her lover, and the daughters she never knew in the city she never fully got to explore. She _was_ happy. Jack, oblivious as he was, couldn’t see that.

Lacie looked at him, really looked at him. “Oh Jack,” she shook her head slightly, “don’t you know me at all? I was never miserable.”

Jack was visually stunned. Lacie could see him processing this, and doing it _wrong_ ; she knew how his mind worked. He was probably thinking right now about how useless he thought he was, or that he wasn’t ever needed or wanted by Lacie and Oswald. Obviously untrue, but Jack tended to blow things out of proportion. And according to what happened to Sablier, _way_ out of proportion.

Jack smiled thinly at her. “Ah, well, that’s good to hear,” he nodded curtly at her, “well, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go talk to Ariella. We still need to find another way out of here,” Jack said. He made to leave and Lacie could see how uncomfortable he was. _The poor fool_ , she thought.

Lacie caught his arm and he looked back at her, surprised. Lacie drew back her hand but stood her ground and looked into jacks eyes to make him stay where he was.

“Don’t you go taking that the wrong way, I know how you think,” she said.

Jack opened and closed his mouth, then looked down at the rug on the floor. He swallowed and looked back up at Lacie, either not knowing what to say or how to process what Lacie had just said. Lacie hoped he could realize that he wasn’t some useless thing, and that her words would clear up the confusion.

Jack wasn’t sure how to react. Lacie had just told him she didn’t need him, right?

“Then what exactly is the _right_ way?” he asked.

Lacie gave him a sideways glance. “I did love you once. When it was just you, me and Oswald; that was all I needed. I _was_ happy.”

Warmth bloomed in jacks heart and he felt a smile creeping up on his face. “Will you…ever love me again?”

“I don’t know. Will I ever see my daughters again?” Lacie said lugubriously. 

Jacks smile instantly vanished and he tried not to flinch. He looked shamefully down at the floor.

“Anyway,” he interlaced his fingers together, “we should probably go try and figure out a new way to get home—ah, I mean, back to the real world,” Jack said awkwardly. He inwardly cringed, he could never be as smooth and charming with Lacie as he was with everyone else. Which was entirely unhelpful, because Lacie was the only one he ever loved.

Jack and Lacie walked down the stairs in awkward silence, and were greeted by Ariella in the living room. She jumped up from her spot and leapt over the back of the couch, bounding over to them.

“Aww, is the happy couple back together?” she said only half sarcastically, a grin on her face.

Jack glared at her, while Lacie’s eyes widened.

“Ehem,” Jack pretended to cough while still glaring at Ariella, “why don’t we get back to the more pressing matters at hand?” 

Ariella nodded once. “Right, the real world.”

“Well, since the mirror was destroyed, we need another way to contact the Will of the Abyss,” Lacie pointed out.

Ariella pressed her lips into a fine line before speaking. “I know a way.”

Jack and Lacie looked at her expectantly.

“But you’re not going to like it,” she finished.

Jack crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t like a lot of things about this place. _Try me_.”

“The _Ciasstolas_ have a looking glass at their headquarters that they use to monitor certain locations in the Abyss, but it can also be used to contact the Will of the Abyss, since she’s the one who granted them their power,” Ariella said.

Lacies eyes widened. “There is no way we are going to be able to get in there!”

“Not without a plan,” Jack said, “Ariella, do the _Ciasstolas_ still trust you?”

“They have never trusted me, but they don’t know I’ve betrayed them, if that’s what you’re asking,” Ariella said.

“Then leave the rest to me,” Jack said.


	26. Golden Destruction

Ariella walked into the _Ciasstolas_ gazebo, knowing full well what she was about to do. She supposed it was what she had been doing all along, betraying the _Ciasstolas_ , but she had never fully wanted to admit it. With them, she would be free from the curse of becoming a chain, and the _Ciasstolas_ wouldn’t come after her as well. She didn’t want to betray them; she knew how frighteningly powerful they were, and she was deeply terrified of becoming a chain. But she knew she had to do this, and she wanted to. Her friendship with Jack and Lacie was more important than some silly old fears.

_“Are you sure you want to do this?” Lacie had asked her after Jack had gone over the plan for the umpteenth time._

_Ariella nodded and gave Lacie a smile, trying to contain her anxiety._

_“We’ll be right here,” Lacie said, and smiled back at her._

The recent memory gave her comfort as she walked through the gathering of _Ciasstolas_ , though it felt as if she was marching to her death. All eyes were on her, or at least they seemed to be. Her heart pounded in her chest and each footstep she took seemed to echo in her ears. It was a slow, agonizing walk, and she wished she could just run up to the looking glass and scream at the top of her lungs for The Will to appear, just so she could get out of there as fast as possible. Ariella could’ve sworn the _Ciasstolas_ were watching her with some sort of sick fascination, like they were anticipating something. Like they knew of her treachery. It was probably just paranoia, Ariella thought, but she felt queasy.

“Hello, little _Ciasstolas_!” a female _Ciasstolas_ said cheerfully, stepping into Ariella’s path.

Ariella internally cursed. She could see the looking glass from where she was— _it was so close!—_ and now she had to deal with this _Ciasstolas_ whos name Ariella barely remembered as Wendolyn _._ She was really not in the mood for insipid, polite conversation. She didn’t want to look suspicious so she put on her best cordial smile and said hello to the woman, and then tried to quickly sidestep her. Wendolyn stepped in her path again.

“Is there something you want?” Ariella asked, annoyed.

The _Ciasstolas_ waved her hand noncommittally in the air. “Yes, actually,” she looked at Ariella and grinned, “I wanted to tell you a story.”

Ariella nervously crossed her arms. “I don’t have time for this, I have to deliver my report to the Will of the Abyss.”

Wendolyn looked as if she were about to burst out laughing, but made another hand gesture for Ariella to stay. “This’ll only take a moment!”

Ariella gave her a sideways look. Wendolyn looked like she was bursting with excitement. The woman was usually very energetic, but she seemed more so now. Ariella didn’t want to think about what that might’ve meant, and hoped her cover was still safe.

“So, it’s about a girl who thought she could do whatever she wanted,” Wendolyn began, moving in slow circles around Ariella as she talked, “she thought she was the noblest girl in all the land, when she was nothing but a child. She went off to save the beast who couldn’t be saved, and in doing so, she betrayed her family, for the beast had hurt her family quite terribly.”

Ariella swallowed nervously, suddenly acutely aware of everyone around them watching. Staring.

“And you see,” Wendolyn continued, “her family didn’t like traitors,” her voice sounded menacingly lilting. She bent down in front of Ariella so that they were eye to eye.

 “Do you know what they do to traitors?” she whispered, cocking her head to the side.

Ariella didn’t even have time to process what she was doing, as her legs had started running before her brain could catch up. She bolted in the direction of the looking glass, she had to get to it and call the Will of the Abyss before they—

“Seize her!” Wendolyn called, and huge, meaty hands grabbed at Ariella’s arms. She tried to fight them but she was weak in her childish body, and the _Ciasstolas_ had restricted her magic.

She screamed for Jack and Lacie to run.

Jack and Lacie came running out of their hiding place and peered into the _Ciasstolas’_ gazebo, trying to spot Ariella amidst a sea of white. A flood of _Ciasstolas_ ran towards them, flinging magical attacks and some welding swords. Jack pushed Lacie behind him but she stepped out to stand beside him, her fists raised. Jack pushed her down as a burst of orange magic went sailing over their heads. The _Ciasstolas_ were surrounding them in a wide circle, and Jack and Lacie were in the middle of it. They didn’t have any weapons with them, so they both raised their fists, back to back in fighting stances. Jack was suddenly thankful for his swordfight in the darkness dimension as he looked around at all the _Ciasstolas_ around them, their swords gleaming in the somber light.

They heard Ariella screaming for them to run, but how could they?

Jack elbowed a _Ciasstolas_ in face, shattering its nose. Blood poured out and spilled all over the pristine white robes, and while the _Ciasstolas_ was distracted, Jack knocked it to the ground. Jack immediately spun around and was already fighting off another _Ciasstolas_. He was oddly reminded of the time he thought he was losing who he was, being surrounded by so many blank figures in white masks coming after him. He tried to stay focused. He punched and kicked his way through the mass of white and tried not to get separated from Lacie as they fought. He tried to destroy all the ones going after Lacie—he couldn’t let her get hurt—but she was holding her own just fine. She had taken off one of her heels and held it up in front of her to stave off the _Ciasstolas_. One was sneaking up behind her and Jack swiftly snapped its neck. He met Lacies wide eyes and was frozen a moment, the _Ciasstolas’_ corpse falling at their feet. Time seemed to slow down for a painful second and Jack was acutely aware of everything around him and yet everything was a blurry, whirring rush at the same time. Then Lacie looked away to lodge the heel of her shoe in the neck of a _Ciasstolas_ , and time sped up to normal again.

Lacie kicked a _Ciasstolas_ in the gut but it didn’t really have the desired effect since she was barefoot. The _Ciasstolas_ lunged at her and she ducked out of its way, briefly glancing up at the gazebo where Ariella was being held. Her screams had been cut short as the _Ciasstolas_ cast a charm on her, rendering her speechless and immobile. They had their hands on her shoulders anyway, as if making her a spectacle of _this is what happens to those who betray us_. Lacie felt the meaty hand of the _Ciasstolas_ on her shoulder and she stuck her shoe heel into it, impaling all the way through the palm. The _Ciasstolas_ stumbled back, clutching its hand to its chest, and Lacie again kicked it in the gut. It fell back onto the ground, moaning, and Lacie made a noise of approval. _That_ was the effect she was going for.

Jack punched another _Ciasstolas_ and relished the stinging pain in his hand; it cleared his mind. After all that these wretched people had done to him, even if he had deserved it, this whole thing was oddly cathartic. He punched another _Ciasstolas_ on the side of the face, then in the gut, causing it to double over and Lacie yelled some sort animalistic war cry as she leapt onto its back. It spun around trying to throw Lacie off but she had her hands firmly around its neck. Jack kicked it in the shin and sent it tumbling and Lacie jumped off before she was sent to the ground. Jack offered her his hand out of habit but retracted it before she could see. Then he was off, fighting the endless number of eerie white figures when all of a sudden, everything was still.

The white _Ciasstolas_ stopped their attacks and moved to the sides as a darkness filled the air. Jack and Lacie were also momentarily stopped, but were about to continue fighting when they saw _her_ moving through the space the _Ciasstolas_ had cleared from.

Mattrich, in her full black dress that seemed to ooze darkness, strode through the opening and looked smugly at Jack.

“Ah, it seems the bastard has been busy,” Mattrich grinned.

Jack pushed Lacie behind him to protect her from the psychotic _Magjistarѐѐ_.

“What do you want from us?” Jack growled, baring his teeth.

Mattrich shrugged casually and looked at Jack. “Oh, you know,” Mattrich flicked her wrist upwards and Lacie was shot into the sky, where she remained, floating in air.

“Revenge,” Mattrich said.

Jack lunged at her. The _Ciasstolas_ ran from the sidelines and Jack tried fighting them off, but Mattrich held out her hand, palm facing toward him, her magic forcing him to remain still. The _Ciasstolas_ grabbed Jack and forced him to his knees. He struggled under their grip but they pressed down on his shoulders, and one kicked him in the back. Jack grunted, and tried once more to wrench himself free of their grasp. Mattrich smiled down at him, right before she delivered a kick to his face.

“That was for Sablier,” she said, “and all the lives that you took.”

She spun dramatically around and the train of her dress whipped up in the air and slapped Jack in the face. The blood from Jack’s nose was barely visible on the smooth black silk as Mattrich walked away. She chose a spot near where Lacie was floating, just short of being directly underneath. Mattrich raised her palms to the sky. Golden ribbons materialized from the murky air of the Abyss, entwining themselves around Lacie. They wrapped around her wrists and her ankles, and all around her body and her neck. Lacie was bathed in golden light, and gold flecks glittered in her hair like sparkles.

Mattrich kept her hand raised to Lacie as she looked to Jack. “And now, _my dear_ , I am going to take from you what you took from all of us, and you will finally know what it is to feel sorrow.” She tightened her hand into a fist and the ribbons began to tighten as well. Lacie yelped. The ribbons became taut and widened, stretching Lacies arms and legs in all different directions.

Mattrich was going to pull her apart.

Jack screamed out _no_ , and fought against the immobilization charm that had been cast on him. He shook in the hands of the _Ciasstolas_ and writhed in their grasp, trying to break free. He heard Lacie begin to scream.

“Jack!” she cried out in pain.

The ribbons tightened, pulling her in a million different directions and Lacie was paralyzed with fear. This took her back to the moment she had been in chains, a child of misfortune sacrificed to the Abyss and being pulled apart into a nothingness so profound, there was nothing left. The Core of the Abyss had saved her then, but she had still felt what it was like. It was terrifying and exhilarating and nauseating and Lacie didn’t ever want to go back to it. When she had been sacrificed, she had pretended she was okay with it but she wasn’t; she wanted life and love and a chance and her brother and her lover...and now it was happening again. She was going to die. Although, it was different now. She had loved Jack then and maybe a part of her still did, even if she didn’t want to admit it. She had worried how he would handle her death—which was not well, or else they wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place—but now he was there and he could see her and she didn’t want this. She didn’t want to be afraid, she didn’t want this to happen again, and least of all did she want Jack to have to witness it.

The _Ciasstolas_ were clever. In destroying her, they destroyed them both.

Lacie threw her head back and screamed until soft golden ribbons snaked around her mouth and choked her. Her vision blurred and it looked as if she were underwater, then she realized she was crying. Tears slid down her eburnean skin and into her hair. Even through her rapidly darkening vision, she could still see Jack amongst the sea of white _Ciasstolas_. He was forced to his knees and even though he was surrounded, he still struggled and fought. Lacie would have smiled if she wasn’t in agony. Although, it wasn’t entirely painful anymore, just strange and numb. The ribbons had outstretched into the Abyss sky and Lacie knew that she didn’t have much longer.

And, not for the first time, Lacie Baskerville wondered what it would be like to die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh noes


	27. Finale

_The_ Ciasstolas _were clever. In destroying her, they destroyed them both._

_Lacie threw her head back and screamed until soft golden ribbons snaked around her mouth and choked her. Her vision blurred and it looked as if she were underwater, then she realized she was crying. Tears slid down her eburnean skin and into her hair. Even through her rapidly darkening vision, she could still see Jack amongst the sea of white_ Ciasstolas _. He was forced to his knees and even though he was surrounded, he still struggled and fought. Lacie would have smiled if she wasn’t in agony. Although, it wasn’t entirely painful anymore, just strange and numb. The ribbons had outstretched into the Abyss sky and Lacie knew that she didn’t have much longer._

_And, not for the first time, Lacie Baskerville wondered what it would be like to die._

* * *

 

She had thought about it often after Levi had told her of her cruel fate. What would it feel like, where would she go, what could she have done about it. She had thought about it the day she was sacrificed, the day she whispered _“I’m sorry,_ ” to her brother in the moment before he killed her. What would happen when it was all said and done? She wondered. But in the end, none of it ever mattered. All she had ever wanted was to live.

So, she threw back her head and closed her eyes, feeling the tears slip down her skin and the tug of the ribbons grew to nothing, and she laughed. She laughed like a madwoman, hysterically, but also beautifully. Like a woman in love, which she was.

And then all she could see was a blinding white light, and everything was silent.

No more screams and shouts, no magical spells and terrible chants, no more insults and no more lies. All there was, was light.

And Lacie had never felt more whole.

 

Jack screamed and fought against the _Ciasstolas_ , trying to wrench himself free of the charm and their hold on him, when Mattrich turned around and waved her hand at him. He fell to the ground, oppressed by her magic, and looked up to see her standing near where Lacie hung in the air.

“Aw, the poor little monster has finally met his match,” Mattrich cooed.

She raised both arms to the sky and conjured dark clouds, swirling and churning into a storm. They darkened and spat out lighting, which landed mere feet from where she was standing. It flashed a sickly blue light on her pale face. A strong gust of wind blew her hood from her face to reveal that she had tiny copper horns on her head, and scales on her skin. She laughed and tore off her feathery mask to reveal that she had even more coppery scales on her face and around her eyes.

She was turning into a chain and she didn’t even realize it.

“You failed! I won! You destroyed everything and now I have destroyed you!” Mattrich threw her head back and laughed. She looked directly at Jack and he was unnerved when he saw her eyes fill with black, as if someone had dripped ink into them. She was smiling madly, and laughing.

And then she wasn’t.

There was a blinding white light, and then suddenly, Mattrich was gone. All that was left was smoke and ash, and singed black feathers falling softly to the ground. Jack looked up to see the ribbons falling all around Lacie, and he lunged for her. The _Ciasstolas_ , or soon-to-be-chains, were still holding him down but they to, were soon disintegrated in white light.

Jack ran to Lacie and held out his arms as she fell slowly from the sky. The golden ribbons pooled around her, billowing out in the air as she fell. She fell softly into Jack’s arms and he looked down at her. Her eyes were closed but there was a smile on her lips and gold flecks in her hair. Golden light surrounded them both, cast off by the many ribbons that fell around them. It shone on Lacie’s pale skin and Jack’s golden hair, and everything seemed to sparkle.

“Lacie,” Jack whispered.

Lacie’s lashes fluttered, and she moaned tiredly. She opened her eyes and saw Jack, and she couldn’t even remember to be angry with him. She was just confused.

“Jack?” she asked. He smiled warmly at her. Genuinely.

“You’re okay,” he said. _I love you,_ he thought.

Lacie nestled her head comfortably on his chest. “What did you do?” she asked.

A thought struck Jack that he didn’t know. He didn’t know what had happened, or what had saved them. _Who_ had saved them?

Jack let Lacie down and helped steady her as she stood, and they both turned around to face a certain white haired girl twirling around as the blood of the _Ciasstolas_ rained down upon her.

_The apple certainly doesn’t fall far from the tree,_ Jack thought.

The girl stopped her twirling to face Jack and Lacie.

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you for a while now,” said the Will of the Abyss.

Jack would be lying if he said he wasn’t at least a little nervous. He did, after all, manipulate the Will of the Abyss for his own goals and was the cause of her sister’s death, so Jack wondered if she came here to take revenge on him like the _Ciasstolas_ did. At least Lacie would be safe; Alyss wouldn’t dare hurt her. Whatever happened to him didn’t matter as long as Lacie got out alive.

“Hello Alyss, long time no see,” Jack said, trying to keep his voice steady.

Alyss smiled at him. Not widely like she always did, but more subdued and calm. Jack wondered if this was a good sign or not.

“I’m sorry about the mess,” she said, “it seems my _Ciasstolas_ got a little…out of control. I never meant for them to hurt you, honest,” she held up her right hand, “I only wanted you to learn the effects of what you did to Sablier.”

Jack almost sighed in relief as it appeared the Will of the Abyss was not out for his head at the moment. “Don’t worry, I definitely learned my lesson,” he said exasperatedly. Then he almost did a double take. “Wait, _your_ _Ciasstolas_?”

“I had originally meant for them to orchestrate the trials so that you could understand your actions,” Alyss smiled wistfully, “it was never my intention to hurt you, Jack. There were many times when I wanted to, after what you did to my sister…” Jack felt his heart twinge painfully at the mention of Alice, “but I guess I still am that same foolish girl who believed you were my friend, and I wanted to help you. The chains had little control of their anger and were consumed by vengeance, and I am sorry for all that they put you through, but it served its purpose. I wanted you to be ready when you left this world. I didn’t want you to be the same fool you were before. You’ve changed Jack. I did all this because I never stopped believing in you. I believed you could change. I wanted you to.”

Jack felt a smile creep up on his face. Even though all those gruesome trials had been caused by Alyss, he believed that they had indeed served a purpose. He couldn’t be mad at her for that.

Alyss turned to Lacie. “Mother?”

Lacie looked startled at the title.

“I’ve never actually spoken to you before, but I’ve seen who you are while you were here. You are strong and courageous, loving and kind; everything I could wish for in a parent. I love you,” Alyss said fondly.

Lacie smiled tearfully and held her hand over her mouth, Alyss looked to the gazebo, and waved her hand at it. As soon Ariella was released from the Ciasstolas’ magic, she came bounding toward them, a big, goofy smile on her face. Alyss turned her gaze back to Jack. 

“I will send you back to the real world, but be aware that it is not the same world that you left. It doesn’t feel like it in the Abyss, but a hundred years have passed since the Tragedy. It is still remembered by history, though. The trials don’t end here, Jack, there will be many more waiting for you in the other world.” Alyss said.

Jack briefly thought about what that might mean, but it was a passing thought. Lacie slid her hand into his and looked up at him with those red eyes of hers, and he smiled reassuringly. The Will of the Abyss held her hand out to them, then pointed it at the sky. She looked up to heavens and whispered, “Goodbye.”

Then all they saw was gold and white.

 

It was a strange sensation, Jack thought, being teleported through worlds this way. It was like being everywhere in the universe all at once, spread out over every corner of the world and separated into a million tiny particles. Broken down into atoms and embedded into the very fabric of the universe, woven into time and molecules of stars. Everywhere and nowhere, inside a rip in space and time and the fabric that separates dimensions. He couldn’t see it. All there was, was the blinding white and gold light, but it was strangely comforting. Warm and glowing and beautiful.

Then the feeling of being everywhere went away, and he felt like he was somewhere concrete again. He still couldn’t see, too blinded by the light, but he could feel the smooth hard ground beneath him, and faintly hear sounds in the distance. Clinking, and shuffling, and the whispers of many but he cannot decipher what they are saying. It all sounds so far away, as if the wind were carrying the echoes to him over a large distance.

He moves his hands around on the smooth ground, still blinded and groping around for anything familiar. He feels something soft and fleshy, and realizes it is a hand.

_Lacie_ , Jack thinks, and smiles. She made it out with him.

Jack’s vision starts to clear enough for him to be able to see the blurry outline of Lacie’s figure, and he draws closer to her. He heard more clinking sounds and realized it is the sound of metal, specifically the unsheathing of a sword.

Jack looked ahead and his blurry vision cleared enough for him to realize that he is in a large, ornately decorated room that he has never seen before, and they are surrounded. Guards, he assumes, are standing all around him, Lacie, and Ariella, and are all equipped with swords. They gripped the hilts tightly, ready to unsheathe their swords at a moment’s notice, but they all looked equally as tense. Except one man, who stood out of line from the others, and was different from all the rest. He was not dressed like the others, who wore professional uniforms. This man’s outfit was absolutely ridiculous, and he looked almost like a clown with white-ish lavender hair and a little doll on his shoulder. He was leaning casually on his sword like he’s using it as a cane, and he looked somewhat excited.

“Well this is a surprise!” the lavender-haired man said exuberantly, taking his sword in his hand and swinging it around playfully. He strides closer to them but doesn’t look at them, only at the sharp sword in his hand. He pointed the tip of the sword to the ceiling and Jack can see the metal glint in the light. Jack resisted the urge to gulp nervously, and shoved Ariella and Lacie behind him.

“Intruders, intruders…” the man tsked. He started walked slowly toward them, putting a bit of a skip in his step as if he were dancing.

Jack sat up straighter, even if he couldn’t make himself more intimidating, he could at least cover Lacie and Ariella more. A guard with short coppery hair coughed in the background. Another leaned over the guard to his right and whispered. They all leered at him, wide eyed. One guard stepped out of line.

“Um…Break-sama…” the guard started, almost timidly, “I could be mistaken, but…isn’t that the Hero of Sablier?”

Jack held his breath.

A smirk tugged at the corners of the lavender-haired man’s lips. “The Hero of Sablier in our very presence,” the man said. It sounded excited and playful, but there was something about his tone that Jack found menacing. The clown grinned and giggled excitedly.

 “Well we’re going to have to do something about that.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it folks! I originally wrote this in Junior year of high school (that was when I peaked tbh) and I had planned a sequel, but that was a few years ago, so we'll see. If you liked the story, remember to comment and everything, and thank you all for reading <3


End file.
